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What gonna happen? Meeting off while off sick

4 replies

Stressedoutmamma · 10/07/2018 11:35

I'm currently of sick due to stress at home I have been given 2 weeks I'm gonna be extending it. I have not hidden anything work know everything my dad has weeks to live he's at home now he was in hospital till last Friday and I'm helping care for him. My grandfather has advanced dementia and I have been caring for him out of work, im also a single mother to a 3 year old boy I've been working full time from 4am to 11am my mother looked after my son but this is going to be impossible untill my father passes. I was having breakdowns in work due to the stress. And I'm now panicking as I got a letter through the post sent 1 week into my sick period saying they are extremely concerned about my time off and want a meeting to discuss it and I should bring someone to it or union rep. I have called them to ask for someone they are yet to get back to me but I'm panicking about what they want. I'm wanting to cry does anyone know what will be said at a meeting like this

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mummyretired · 10/07/2018 11:58

It's likely that they will raise the question of "whether you will be able to achieve a satisfactory level of attendance in the near/foreseeable future". How long it would be reasonable to give you to recover depends in part on how long you have worked there and what your previous attendance record has been like. If there is no prospect of your return they will want to start the process of easing you out. If you have not already had a formal warning you will probably get one at this meeting which will buy some time.

If you feel you might be able to return to work then I suggest you think about alternative childcare - would a temporary change of hours be possible to make this easier?

It is up to you to contact your union rep or other person you want to bring, not your employer - you get to choose who it is.

Stressedoutmamma · 10/07/2018 12:08

I've worked there almost 4 years and I've had 3 days off in that time due to sickness. I am going to return but it will be when my father's passed we have been told 1 month I doubt they will change my hours not very reasonable. I have contacted my rep I'm waiting for her to call me back it's been a 3 hours so I'm hoping it will be soon. Right now I'm not mentally for to work im extremely stressed I'm not sleeping im forgetting to eat I gave headaches constantly and I'm always 2 breaths crying

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maxelly · 10/07/2018 12:24

Sorry to hear about your Dad and Grandad, what a difficult time this must be for you OP.

Easier said than done but try not to stress too much about this and focus on your family and your health. If your employer is a large one this is likely to be standard practice and the letter may be a template one drawn up by HR. In my workplace we try to meet with people after they have been off for sick for one month or more, so although a week in could be seen as a little premature, if you are likely to be off for longer they might simply be trying to be organised?

They are likely (as mummyretired says) to want to understand how long you are likely to be off (so they can plan how to cover your work), whether your stress is in any way work-related and if so whether there's anything they can/should be doing about it, whether you'll need any adjustments like change of hours or change of duties on your return. They may want to refer you to Occupational Health (again standard in many workplaces if someone is off for a longer period of time, however they define that).

If you have worked there for over 2 years, have a good performance/attendance record previously and are likely to be able to return in the near-ish future I would doubt they'll do anything more serious than perhaps give you a 'warning' that if your absence continues long-term they may need to take further steps (I don't like using the phrase 'warning' for long-term sick as it implies there's some kind of conduct issue, but legally they may feel obliged to warn you). I would ask to see a copy of your workplace's sickness absence policy as that should explain the procedure if someone is off long-term sick.

I would definitely take a union rep or a colleague along with you to the meeting, just for emotional support as much as anything else. You could also ask if they'll consider doing the meeting over the phone if that's easier for you? I'm usually happy to do that for my staff....

Stressedoutmamma · 10/07/2018 12:41

Thank you. The company I work for is huge it's a supermarket chain I know it's probably because of what's going on but the letter feels a bit threatning it's in 2 days out of normal working hours and have no-one to take my son so have no idea what to do with him. It doesn't help it's my local shop so I have been in since being off and shopped as im shopping for not only for my dad who's asking for random stuff my family as I like at home and my grandad. I'm just on the defensive as one of the manager is not very nice and my boss has been thought this some of this last year keeps telling me come to work it will distract you when they were off for months. I feel like they are more bother about a minimum wage job than my health

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