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Working mums of older children, how do you

17 replies

Pitchounette · 27/05/2007 13:53

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chestnutty · 27/05/2007 15:09

I work in a school term time only. I started when dd2 was 5yrs old and have gradually increased my hours from 20 (mornings only) to presently 35. Dds are now 14 and 16. I have never had to pay for after school care or holiday play schemes etc. The odd day where the holidays did not match (mainly inset days) where covered by dh taking annual leave.
So far so good. I'm now at a stage where I feel I could work in the holidays and hence earn more money but don't feel qualified to do any thing else.

Judy1234 · 27/05/2007 15:20

I always worked full time and it worked fine and has been better long term. You have to think about your work for the 20+ years after they've left home too not just here and now and the time when frankly they don't want you around so much and want their friends as teenagers.

We had nanny until they were at school and then she continued part time because she had her own baby and then her own second baby which came with her but that was luck that we had that. Then for a bit of time we had someone who did some cleaning in the house and then the school run and bringing the 3 children home until 6 or whenever we got in from work and that worked okay - cleaner come whatever.

Some people have a live in au pair at £65 a week for the afternoon and taking to school bit but we never had a spare room to put anyone in and I didn't want someone living in. Now I've older chidlren, part time help and am often working at home so it's really easy with the 8 year olds.

In your position I'd go back to your old job, not do the school option.

As for summer holidays sometimes a grandparent will have them for a week or two. Sometimes our have done 2 or even 3 weeks of a day camp like Barracudas and had huge fun. One had a school summercamp every summer for 2 years just for the day and sixthformers also helped with it. Then there comes an age when you're happy to leave them a bit on their own too or we have much older children now who can babysit as well

Nightynight · 27/05/2007 15:53

we have an au pair at the moment.

Pitchounette · 27/05/2007 18:26

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JohnnyDeppsMrs · 27/05/2007 18:54

I work in a school term-time only too. I earn much less than I was before but I am much less stressed. The financial aspect is not top of my list. As far as interesting work goes it depends what sort of post you are looking for.

When I worked fulltime the children were looked after by their nan or dh depending on his shifts. Once they are around 10 I imagine it does become difficult to get them to go to childminders, well I know it does as many friends have had problems. If they have lots of after-school activities they do seem to need you more then ever to get them from A to B. Then there is keeping on top of the homework etc too. I agree that as teens they generally prefer their friends to their parents but that doesn't mean you can just leave them to it. Someone has to be 'on hand'. I expect an au pair/nanny would help with that but would they be available full-time for the holidays and would the cost be worthwhile?

ThePrisoner · 27/05/2007 19:12

I've regularly childminded children up to the age of 12 years (and older, on occasions), and it has always worked out well. Even if I have had younger children, we still do activities suitable for older children, go out for the day, etc.

Pitchounette · 27/05/2007 19:13

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Pitchounette · 27/05/2007 19:14

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ProfessorGrammaticus · 27/05/2007 19:21
Lilymaid · 27/05/2007 19:44

I worked part time (3 days at office 50 miles away and one day at home) from time DS1 was 12 and DS2 was 8. Younger one went to after school club in term time and did loads of activities. Fortunately DH works only 4 miles away and can be very flexible. During the holidays we took time off, did swops with other mums and enrolled DS2 on sports courses (shared transport). DS1 tended to stay at home - and as he became older never got up until lunch time anyway!
We muddled through, like thousands of others.

ThePrisoner · 28/05/2007 14:27

Pitchounette - not sure if they might have refused given a choice ... they weren't given a choice!! (I would say that they're always happy though!)

Having said that, I make sure that we have things to do for older children that will interest them on the days that they're here. There's no point in showing them a box of Lego and expecting that to keep them happy all day.

I know that several places operate day camp-type places which, at least locally, cater for children up to the age of 13 years (and are cheaper than CMs).

Judy1234 · 28/05/2007 14:43

I just don't think it's the duty of parents to entertain teenagers in summer holidays. Mine have done things like go to Devon with friends alone. Spent the day with horses at the stables. Get the tube to London or just be bored which is an important part of growing up and doesn't hurt them. Depends on the age. Huge difference between 13 and 16. If it's a 6 week school summer holiday and may be you have a family holiday for 2 weeks that only leaves 4 weeks. Not worth messing up your career to go for a worse paid job in a school for that.

Pitchounette · 28/05/2007 15:01

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crunchie · 28/05/2007 15:20

Min eare now 6 and 8 and go to a cm and granny and aunty and afterschool club on occassions.

Basically if dh is not working, he does it all, however the last 2 school hols he has been workingm christmas I was ok taking time off, easter was tricky.

Basically my parents who live over an hour away have them for up to a week (did a week last summer) for a 'holiday' The CM has them and grannywho lives close has them.

Once they are 11 + I think it will be easier. I also link up with other working parents so we can swap playdates etc, some friends who are SAHP have mine for a day or so in hols too. Baicially I get my diary, every day write both childrens names and then fill it in!!

sevenoaks13 · 17/02/2010 08:58

My children always go to Camp Beaumont day camps. My eldest chid is 14 and loves it. They do lots of different activities with them including horse riding which is her passion. I know they've got quite a few camps around the M25 area.

debs0126 · 23/02/2010 10:37

I have just booked my kids into Easter Camp at Camp Beaumont in Blackheath - they went last summer too. It is great as I can drop them at 8am and collect at 6pm - which means I can at last do a whole day at work - plus I don't feel guilty as they have a great time - my 2 are aged 11 and 13 and they do soem great activities - just wish I could go there rather than work!

morleylass · 23/02/2010 16:13

My dc are 6 and 9, I am quite lucky to be able to pick them up from school most days (they go to a great After school club when I can't) but they go to breakfast club at school every morning and in the holidays they spend a few days at a playscheme and we split the holidays between me and dh.
It took a few different playschemes to find one that they liked but now we have done and they are happy. It is at the local leisure centre and they swim each day, do crafts, play tag rugby, ball games, climbing, face painting etc. There are lots of different activities to suit different children. They wouldn't want to go every day but a few days each holiday is fine.
MLx

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