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Original poster

at what age did you put your children into nursery?

21 replies

LucyJones · 13/08/2004 21:23

Hi everyone. I'm currently trying to make up my mind about when to go back to work. Please could you tell me when you put your children into nursery and what age do you think is best? My ds is nearly 5 months and I don't know if that is too early or will I find it just as hard when he's say 9 months or one? TIA

OP posts:

Twiglett · 13/08/2004 21:30

message withdrawn

Original poster

LucyJones · 14/08/2004 10:35

Anyone else? I thought i'd log on this morning to lots of late night responses

OP posts:

Rainbow · 14/08/2004 10:53

From the other side of the fence, I find children between 3-6 months settle in a lot easier and find it easy to bond with us. Therefore it is easier on the parents. Children between 7-8 months and 3ish get far more upset and find it harder to cope with. They can't understand why they are being left with strangers and mummy has gone. Just try to remember though he may try to send you on a guilt trip and scream when you leave (especially from 7-8 mo) and about 2-3 minutes after you have gone he is playing happily and is quite content.
I have been v. lucky in that my children come to work with me or my mum has them. My niece, however, sent me on the guilt trip when I took her with me. My sister would bring her to me and I would take her to nursery. Her settling in period she was no problem, her first day was a nightmare. We all meet in the main room until 9 when the majority of staff and children are in then separate into our various groups and she sent me on the biggest trip when she was taken to her room and I went to mine. Five minutes later I would get a call to say she was fine.
It depends on you and your ds really. I personally don't think 5 mo is too early. Good luck Lucy making your decision.

Blackduck · 14/08/2004 10:58

DS went at 4 months...he has been fine....He can do 'clingy' when he wants, but really has been good. This is unlike my sil's boy who didn't go until he was 2 and a half and was horrendous....Personally I had no choice - needed to go back to work as prime breadwinner....

Tiggiwinkle · 14/08/2004 10:58

My youngest 2 were about 5 months when I went back to work-they went to a child minder and were fine.
I agree that at 9 months the baby is likely to get more anxious at being separated-but having said that, they usually go through a "clingy" period at about that age anyway, even if they are happily settled into childcare.

Ghosty · 14/08/2004 11:02

I agree with Twigglett ... and rainbow for that matter ...
DS went at 4.5 months and was fine and then all of a sudden at 10 months he started to have a problem with being left ... and nothing about the nursery had changed at all ....
My point is that your DS WILL get separation anxiety, regardless, as it is a normal part of a baby's development .... so best to go back to work earlier so that when it strikes he is in an environment that he knows and feels safe ... I think that to put them into a new environment just as they are developing the natural separation anxiety thing would make it harder for them.

Original poster

LucyJones · 14/08/2004 11:21

Thanks evryone. I think I wil stick with the plan of going back in September. Your comments are very reassuring. I knew I shouldn't ahve watched that damn TV programme the other night

OP posts:

Rainbow · 14/08/2004 11:30

To be honest Lucy, i watched it to and was horrified. There are some horrendous nurseries out there but the majority are brilliant. Reassure yourself by visiting more than once and try to keep an eye on the staff, if they seem to change a lot in between your visits they are not happy and that will not make for a happy nursery environment. Also watch how the children interact with the staff. If they seem a little bewildered or unsure then the staff will be putting on an act and that is not normally practice. Most of all go with your gut instinct. It's not usually wrong. Good luck

LunarSea · 14/08/2004 20:15

ds went to nursery at 3 months - and tbh I think it was probably easier then than leaving it later, if the experiences of others I know who have started nursery later are anything to go by.

jampot · 14/08/2004 20:18

both of mine went from the day after their first birthday. Both settled in absolutely fine

Kayleigh · 14/08/2004 20:24

my ds1 went to a childminder at 5 months. he is still there and he's six now.

just read that sentence back and realise it sounds like I haven't seen him for 5 and a half years

edam · 14/08/2004 20:51

Hi Lucy. Ds went to nursery at 7 months, full-time (although I was using up holiday to work four days a week for the first six weeks). He's fine, really enjoys himself there. BUT I think if I was doing it again, I'd wait until he was sitting up reliably ? at that point he was sitting but still falling over a lot. Much more fun if you can sit up and see everything that's going on, I would think! And for some reason, seeing tiny babies there who aren't able to sit up just makes me feel uncomfortable. Not quite sure why (maybe because they are so helpless at that stage?) and I would never criticise anyone for doing that, just a personal quirk.
You are right about separation anxiety in older babies; my friend left it until her ds was one and it was awful. She ended up leaving work, even though they can't really afford it (and is having real trouble getting back into work now, three years later).
As Twiglett says though, whatever you do there will be people telling you you are wrong ? even if you completely changed your mind and stayed at home. Mothers just can't win...

KateandtheGirls · 14/08/2004 21:13

My eldest went to a childminder from 9 weeks old (crap maternity leave in the US). She never developed separation anxiety and was always as happy there as she was at home. I'm sure it would have been harder (on both of us) if she'd been a few months older.

ScottishMummy · 20/07/2006 14:19

my baby went 2 nursery full time at 7months, he absolutely loves it

Baby loves the other wee babies, i love the social interaction, structured learning and activities. I love being able to return to my career which i find challenging, stimulating and love doing

look for open friendly staff, do a few trial sessions. Use your instinct 2 guide you what u think is suitable.also look at OFSTED nursery reports online to guide you, ask about for opinions

i think if it is a good nursery then any age is OK, i guess going in bout 5month they settle quickly and are less likely to develop seperation anxiety as they get used to it

my philosophy is happy baby =Happy mummy

dont worry about the whingers who will pull faces and offer their opinion when you had not actually asked them. Your baby your choice!

i hope all goes well - keep us all posted

Twiglett · 20/07/2006 14:21

um .. this thread is 2 years old .. I reckon she might have sorted her childcare by now

although spooky to see that I posted on it then too

Original poster

LucyJones · 20/07/2006 14:22

Hi ScotishMummy - no idea how you managed to find my old thread of August 2004!!!! But just to let you know that ds has been going to nursery since the age of 5 months and never looked back. He's now 2.3 months and never had separation anxiety thank goodness. I still remember that awful programme about those nursery staff though that prompted me starting this thread. I think the nurseries were closed down and the staff sacked.

OP posts:

Twiglett · 20/07/2006 14:22

just out of interest .. how did you find it anyway? (the thread I mean to post on)

Original poster

LucyJones · 20/07/2006 14:23

Hi twiglett - i was wondering the exact same

OP posts:

Twiglett · 20/07/2006 14:23

still here then lucy?

arf

Original poster

LucyJones · 20/07/2006 14:24

yes, never did manage to get away

OP posts:

ScottishMummy · 21/07/2006 18:52

Oh hi gals

Golly gosh time elqpsed thread i wasnae payin attention to date!!!!

glad all ok lucy

2 explain i work NHS and our internet time very restricted ( for obvious reasons) OO can u imagine workin on ICU surfing the net all day..

so i kinda saw the thread and jumped on in did not look at post date

anyway yeah my wee baby loves nursery

Lots laughs

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