ds in trouble at nursery - should we change again?

[ZolaPola]

Hi - interested in hearing others experiences. Got a boisterous, often naughty 3 yr old. He unfortunately is now in his 4th nursery due to our moving/my previous job changes. He's been in his current place 3 months - at first seems was on best behaviour, they loved him he was confident & fun, but now they are sounding exasperated with him to the point possibly of regularly losing their temper due to his naughtiness. I was told in no uncertain terms yesterday how naughty he was (in front of him), and how he didn't listen/didn't help tidy up etc. Problem is I think he's bored -v small garden for him to play in compared to his old nursery and very young inexperienced staff. there's no alternative though unless we go the au pair + mornings only nursery school route. My
instinct is that it's not a good nursery, espeically as it's had a couple of critical ofsted reports, but no real alternatives!

did you watch tonights nursery programme bbc1?
go by your instincts...

yes, now in panic mode - didn't like the way staff were singled out though- seemed typical nursery staff to me, IMO problems due to poor management, low pay and lack of training & time off. problem is they're all pretty much the same, there is no one single ideal form of childcare, other than the parent, IMO so if we work what to do? Until now, I've managed to avoid thinking about it too much, but now ds is of an age to be able to communicate some of what he thinks, so I'm questioning my choices 3 yrs down the line.

Honestly they are not all the same. There are lots of excellent nurseries. If I were you I'd spend some time researching childcare and change nurseries.

I have- every one in my area, problem is only 2 fullday care, lots of shorter hours ones but couldn't work around this in current job.

zolap.. childminder or nanny??

if we have to, might look at nannyshare. just worried about introducing yet another childcare provider (no.5 at tender age of 3)versus worries of staying where he is.

rereading your stuff zp I think you need to get him out of that place... how dare they talk about him as naughty like that??!
They are supposed to be qualified childcare workers and basic rule of childcare is talk about the behaviour being wrong (with specific examples)... not child being naughty...
ffs he is 3! they are still learning behaviour/ rules.. sounds like this nursery want placid kids who can be pushed around and dictated to... well I'm all for feisty kids!! (too much like hard work for some nurseries though)

I know, thanks for your support, but just don't know what to do -no real alternatives up my sleeve and dh thinks I'm over-reacting and it's fine...

I'd take him out of there as soon as you can. It is appalling to treat a three-year old like this. They should not be exasperated ? if they are, it shows a very poor attitude and lack of understanding of or concern for children. Staff should never lose their temper with children in their care. Full stop.
So he's boisterous and often naughty, he's three years old FFS! If they can't look after a perfectly normal three-year old they should be shut down IMO.
Have just watched BBC prog so feeling quite strongly about this; think it's a sign that things aren't quite right. My sister works with vulnerable adults (with learning difficulties) and what I've learned from her is that anyone who puts their own needs ahead of the people they are looking after, fails to understand the needs of the people they are looking after or who thinks it is acceptable to get exasperated, is dangerous and shouldn't be in the job. Sadly there are plenty of people like this around and very few like my sister.

if you are uncomfotable zp, you have to be true to your instincts.
Im sorry it's going to prove difficult for you (do you have anyone who could help out in the shorterm?)but at the end of the day you are not going to be happy whilst feeling uncomfortable about his care.
Ther are alternatives, and I bet you could find a really good childminder if you ask around/advertise etc...
Don't accept things that you're not comfortable with...it will not help you.. or your ds.

edam.. very well put...
(it seems there are too many people with their own problems working with vulnerable people - who need a different type of carer.
Much as I hate a lot of sensationalist tv/media.. I think it does serve a purpose sometimes)

message withdrawn

thanks for your comments, hard isn't it? will now look into childminder (if I can get one recommended or shorter hrs+au pair).. I'll also send my mum in to suss them out more..

Hi Zolapola, sorry you've got such a worry. Could you go for a childminder/nursery combination? My 3 yo goes to a state nursery that is free for 5 mornings a week and lots of people have their children dropped off and collected by childminders. Your ds would still get the benefits of nursery without having to be there all day.

How are you feeling about this now, ZP? I must say when I read your first post, I crackled when I read the description of how they talk about / to him. How do you know they lose their tempers? that would be quite dreadful, IMO.
If you do morning -only nursery might you be able to advertise with another parent for a shared nanny or childminder? Which part of the country are you in?
I think Twiglett is right - a more mature minder might be the answer. Is there someone who could collect him from a morning nursery, perhaps?

I agree, take him out.