How the hell am I meant to hold down a job?

[Thorsday]

I'm 23. Just been diagnosed with an illness for which I'll have to take methotrexate probably for the rest of my life - the doctors have told me that the damage to my knees from this is already pretty severe and causes a lot of pain while walking, but the government isn't interested. I can walk for a little while, therefore I can stand and run around for 8 hours working some retail job.

I just got a degree but my prospects in that area aren't too high. I was fine when I started the degree (relatively, anyway) and most of the jobs within the area are very active OR require extra education, which I can't afford. I've applied for hundreds of jobs relating to admin stuff sitting at a desk and even though I'm good at interviews it all comes back the same - not enough experience in the area/with the programs. I don't have the money to live away from my parents right now which we all desperately want - I'm 23 and they're both retired and understandably don't want a moocher living in the house. I don't qualify for benefits that would allow me to live on my own, especially not in a place where I can have my own toilet (which I need for other health-related reasons). I don't really get what I'm supposed to do here. Obviously, I won't be able to take sick leave every other day when I inevitably overdo it working 8 hours a day in a full time job and I can't control when flares happen or when I need to run off and throw up from the pain.

I don't want to be on benefits for life, but I don't really see what other option I have. It's all looking ridiculously bleak and hopeless. And yeah, I know plenty of other people can manage with this - I really, really can't. I could barely handle university which was only two lectures a week.

Look at the Environment Agency. We have science based apprenticeships and have a lab in Leeds. As a public sector organisation we’re pretty up to speed on the guaranteed interview scheme (are you registered disabled?) and Work place adjustments.

Civil service, they are very supportive of staff with disabilities.

Not the same condition but at 19 I was told that I would never be able to work and never be able to have children.

I have always worked full time, haven't had a day off for 12 years and have 2 children. The point that I am making is that things can change as you managed an illness - but I do think that attitude is key, you need maybe to get some help to develop a strong mental attitude-mine has always been that I will prove them wrong. Have you asked for counselling?

Temp agencies are your best bet for finding a first job in an office without experience. You will need to be confident with basic Word and Excel, able to type, and have a positive outgoing attitude to learn new skills and interact with a wide range of people professionally. Also dress appropriately for the office environment.

Although your illnesses dominate the way you perceive your life, if they don't prevent you from performing normal office work then I would not mention them on your cv or at interview. If when in the job it becomes apparent there is a specific duty that is putting your health at risk then you could bring it up then. You have probably already thought this through, just to be sure.

Check out the Richmond Fellowship, they help people with mental issues find and keep suitable work, so they would be sensitive to your anxiety and depression and would probably also be able to help you find something compatible with your health conditions. From your posts it sounds as if you are feeling very negative about the whole thing, which is understandable, and makes me think that an employment adviser who is experienced in the mental health side would be helpful.

What did you mean when you wrote “the government isn’t interested”? Did you apply for ESA and get told you’re fit for work, or something? If so it is possible to challenge the decision. I suggest you visit or contact your local Citizens Advice for help with it.

Regardless of your employment status, you should definitely apply for PIP. If you get PIP you will also be entitled to other things. For example, if you do get ESA the fact of being on PIP would increase your ESA payments. If you don’t get ESA but manage to find a part time job of 16 hours or more, being on PIP would make you entitled to Working Tax Credit (provided your income is not over the threshold).

You may also be entitled to some Housing Benefit which again would be slightly higher if you were on PIP.

There are online benefit calculators or Citizens Advice can help.

I also agree with the PP who suggested counselling. CBT maybe. And mindfulness can be helpful too.

To build experience go to a temp agency and start temping, this will also mean you will start earning money. Try a few different roles when you do temp and find what you want to do

I think k you need to use the next few months yo have some therapy/concelling/cbt for your HAD and get a part time job.
Checkouts maybe?

Your health situation is really unfair, but your employment and living at home situation is not unusual at all for someone of your age in the final year of their course.

Whatever figure it is you have in your head that you need to earn right now, you need to put that on hold

Try to get your MH and confidence in a better place, and just take whatever work that will pay you enough for you to have a little cash for your own essentials like toiletries and save the rest to try to build up for a month or two's rent.

Also find out what benefits/support you may be entitled to alongside working.

*GAD not had

Lab based jobs eg path lab in hospital are sit down jobs largely and easy access to toilet etc- can’t see why they aren’t perfect

Everyone struggles with the lack of experience issue- it’s a hurdle and you have to look how to tackle that such as volunteering or shadowing the role you want, doing additional courses etc.

Ask the job centre what they have to help you- loads of free schemes for getting people into work

Keep applying- the market is tough and you have to expect loads of knock backs.

Maybe actuallyget feedback from the interviews. You say you interview well and it’s just lack of experience but (and I don’t want to be unkind) if you put across the idea you are special or needy in an interview or are a bit cocky then it won’t go well. Think critically at how you are presenting yourself. You don’t have to refer to your illness in an interview necessarily and even tho it may feel a bit part of who you are, you need to present that you take it in your stride and get on with things.

My bf has RhA and has been on MTX for years and as well as a day job she takes in ironing to do. Yes it’s tough but it can be done.

You keep listing a multitude of problems because you clearly feel angry you are getting benefits but perhaps a better headspace is to accept you aren’t, yes you have way more to cope with than most but that can make you really strong and capable and resilient and be positive factors in a career.

Good luck.
Ps job first then save for deposit and move out.

I think training to be an accountant is a really good idea. You can get a trainee post with a local firm who may pay for you to do exams and give study leave too. Once qualified you will be able to support yourself and it's easy to work from home. Don't go into auditing though as travel is involved. Tax is a good area to work in.

I get you want to move out but why don’t you take the opportunity to get yourself in a good financial position. Think about what you can do rather than what you can’t. Do you know what triggers flare ups? If so how can you reduce your chances of getting them? Are there any courses or voluntary work you can start to improve your chances of getting the career you want? Moving out sounds great but I did at 21 and ended up trapped in a career I hated and have now moved to one that bores me as I can’t afford a wage drop to do the career I want. I wish I had stayed at home, saved up, travelled more and pursued a different career as I would be in a much stronger position now

There are two women in our workplace who take chemotherapy type drugs daily for their joint/arthritis type problems. One is in her late 50s and only started on it in the last 3 years. The other is in her late 20's, has been on it for 6 years, has a school age child and just got married and also had a baby.

Both regularly come in with bandages or splints to support their wrists/hands or look in pain, and I am in awe of their energy and attitude towards life and work and both are successful in what they do. Not really sure if I could do it, but it is possible.

I'm on methotrexate for severe arthritis, I practically don't know I have it, the methotrexate has worked so well, give it some time before you decide what you can or cannot do.

you should try engaging with a disability organisation such as Remploy to help you into work. Try your disability employment adviser at the job centre. So what if you have to go on benefits? If it leads to you getting work? You are disabled, you could get disability benefits, and in the workplace, any equipment or other adjustments can be paid by the Access to Work fund.
I think a lot of it is your own responsibility. You are disabled but you can still work. Take responsibility and engage with the right services.

If you need or want more experience of office software and Admin, look at doing some if the free, accredited course at www.vision2learn.net/courses. They really boosted my cv when I was returning to work.

Ask your consultant about etanercept.

My OH has psoriatic arthritis and this combined with low dose methotrexate allows him to live a near normal life

Best of luck to you

To start making money right now, offer tutoring. You can get public transport to your clients houses.

Offer a good price for a summer holiday programme to prepare kids going into GCSE courses or something.