Help! Tricky Colleague Question! Need an outside perspective pleeeeeeeease!

[OnAndOn]

I'm a regular who has name changed for this one as I am always paranoid that everyone I know in RL is a secret MNer! (You never know, though, do you? )

Anyway, I work part time running an office with another woman who is mum to a 3 yr old boy. Our roles are more or less the same, except that I work part time and she works full time. She's lovely. But...

She is so frequently off work, either to look after her boy (who has had lots of little ailments and minor accidents), or because she's ill (she's had lots of low-level infections etc since she started the job in Sept last yr) or sometimes because she's got muddled up and messed up her chilcare arrangements.

She is married to a self-employed plumber, and she has said that the issues is that if he doesn't work, he doesn't get paid, whereas if she doesn't come in to work, she stll gets paid anyway, so they have decided as a couple that if the boy is ill, it will be her who takes time off to care for him. On average, in any week, she has one or two days off.

So that leaves a whole load of her work not done, and me running the office on my own. On the days that she is off I get no break and am exhausted by the time I get home. Not what I want out my part job! I have 2 dcs and really truly do understand and sympasthise with the balancing act that is going back to work, but I just feel that I am being treated unfairly and so are her employers (i.e. the ones who pay her for the work she's not doing).

So what do you think? "AIBU" to feel aggreieved about her attitude? Is there anything I can / should do? Is it likely that the boss will say or do anything at any stage?

I have quite a strong work ethic, and my attitude is that while I'm at home I am 100% there for my dcs (except when I'm on MN! ) and when I'm at work I ma there for the job 100%. I take a 30 min lunch break but apart from that I work solidly the whole time I am there, and I go in unless I really am so ill I can't haul myself out of bed.

Sorry if I sound heartless - I'm not at all, really - but I am starting to really resent the strain that her absenteeism is putting on me, and on the job.

The fact that she gets paid even when she is out is the reason she does it. If she didn't get paid then she probably wouldn't take as much time. Some companies allow a certain amount of paid sick leave and the rest is deducted from your salary. It isn't fair on you but your boss really should be the one who says something to her about it. Could you talk to your boss about the work load that is obviously being left for you because she isn't there? Sounds like she is really taking the piss.

You aren't being unreasonable, it sounds as if she's taking the piss, frankly. I would go to your joint boss and make it their problem, not yours. While you are keeping quiet/picking up her work it might not have been considered something that needed dealing with since there has been little impact to the business

Where I work more than 3 absences in a YEAR means you get an interview, have to agree ways of improving your attendance etc. So twice a week for what, 8 months is ridiculous. And her husband being self employed is not your employer's problem. It shouldn#t be yours either.

How does your employer manage absence? In most places this would ring massive warning bells and HR would get involved. Talk to your boss - this is affecting your work so you need to say something. Flexible working is all very well, but she is seriously taking the piss.

It's very diificult isn't it? I don't think YABU. One or two days off every week is a bit excessive. My dd has chronic illness and that is the main reason that I work part-time now.

She is very lucky that she gets paid when absent because of a child's illness or chilcare problems - most employers would have you take that time as holiday or unpaid. I agree that it's maybe a little too easy for her not to turn in.

Thanks for those replies.

Swizzler, I don't think they do really manage absence tbh. They just tolerate it. I don't think there is an absenteeism policy as such.

So the thing is, do you think I should say anything to her, as a friend / colleague, before it gets to the point of the boss getting involved? Is there anything I can say without sounding like a cold hearted bitch? I know that she could justify every day she's had off, so she doesn't feel that there is a problem at all...

Maybe we just have v. differnt attitudes to work...

No, don't get involved. Make it your boss's problem because it IS his/her problem. You can specifically state that you don't want boss to mention that you're unhappy.

Really, DON'T talk to her about it, it'll end in tears.

You don't want boss to mention to her that you're unhappy I mean.

Agree with www. It could make things uncomfortable between you. Your bosses should sort it and not bring you in to it at all.

Although if she is spoken to by them she is likely to ask you how you feel about it so have a think how to word - 'Yes you're a PITA, get a grip!' it a more constructive way

Thanks for that.

Right - I'm not going to think about it any more! Off to the park with the dcs while the sun is still shining!

Thank you ladies!

I agree with the others, speak to your boss on one of the days when she doesn't turn in.

Point out the extra burden it places on you & that you don't get the statutory break that you are entitled to by law (and everyone one accepts that happens once in a while, but not twice a week!!)

Surely the work must be suffering too? (you don't say what that is, but are customers suffering delays, or will accounts be late etc, make sure the boss understands the potential consequences of her continual absences)

Where I work EVERY absence gets a "return to work" chat & absences are managed very tightly, so every one knows you can't take the p1$$, which this lady is clearly doing.

As everyone has said though this is your boss's problem to sort out, not yours, so make sure he doesn't mention your chat when he speaks to her.

if I were you I would try hard to lead your boss to the conclusion that the problem is her absenteeism, rather than diving straight in with it yourself - go armed with hard information about specific things that have not get done; specific things you've taken on over and above your normal work - the more concrete and objective you can be the better.

do you know for certain that she's not using annual leave to cover these days off? that would still mean that she was getting paid, but would be reasonable of her, iyswim. it's worth keeping an open mind about that if you don;t know all the facts - if she is using annual leave then the problem is the boss's failure to provide adequate cover, rather than her time off per se.