I'm having a period of feeling sorry for myself at the moment. I work part time evenings (including every other weekend) to fit around childcare. I currently have DS1 at primary school and DS2 is 3 and has 2.5 hours at nursery a day.
I feel like I'm stuck at the moment. My routine with drop offs and pick ups etc means I feel like I don't actually have much time in the day to get out and do anything with DS2 or spend any meaningful time on my own interests. I also hardly see DS1 the days I'm working because I go to work straight after he gets home. I feel like there is no point me being at home.
We have a few debts and if I went full time in September when DS2 qualifies for 30 free hours, it would make a huge difference to us financially. At the moment all my wages go on bills. I would have to work shifts, I obviously wouldn't be home as much. I used to work full time when DS1 was a baby and hated it. I can't help feeling like if I did go full time I'd wish I was back at home.
I just don't know what would make me happy anymore. I feel like going full time probably wouldn't change much of what I'm unhappy about but I would at least have more money coming in!