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Original poster

Employee stealing from me!

52 replies

Poodlesandnoodles · 14/05/2018 21:35

Hi all, I'm new to this so I'm not aware if I'm doing it right!

Ok so here goes (you may want to grab a cuppa ...or Gin, it's a long one)

I own a wellbeing clinic and took on my husband's step sister 18 months ago, she's fantastic. Customers love her. I love(d) her. I've done everything for her. Trained her to a high standard, employed but when no one else would, (little experience + older = costly) I've even babysat her kids when her partner walked out 6 months ago, albeit for one weekend!

In September I believed I had miss placed my designer Sunnies but I was very certain they were in my reception desk.

Then two months ago I realised a bangle my husband bought me when I lost my daughter last year had been taken, I had done a massage and took it off, placed it in a drawer and forgot for the rest of the day. I was heartbroken, I thought it was a client but couldn't prove it! (No CCTV due to it being an intimate waxing /massage room)

And now, I have realised my leather jacket has been taken from the cloakroom and when I mentioned it she said she had never seen me in a leather jacket! 😤

And these things are just the things I know about!

She's the only staff member to be there the whole duration of the thefts.

Police have logged it all, but are as much use as a chocolate teapot. And have just advised I watch hours of CCTV....but all I have is circumstantial!

I believe the only way to get her it to trap her. Do any of you lovelies have any ideas?
I'm going away next weekend for our anniversary so wondered if I can do it then, maybe mention the CCTV is down so to keep an extra eye out? Wink wink nudge nudge!

I must have proof if I don't this could cause an absolute shit storm in our family!!!

Please help!

OP posts:
ParentInCharge · 15/05/2018 11:48

This is so so SOOOO low but I would be sorely tempted to offer to babysit her kids for a night at hers and use that time to find my stolen items. You wouldn't be able to prove they're yours or take them back (unless the bangle for example was personalised?) but you could sure as shit feel justified in telling her you no longer require her services.

TheCraicDealer · 15/05/2018 12:03

A trap will only incur further drama. She’s a family member- by entrapping her you’re severing the relationship. You can’t come back from calling someone a thief. Even if you have “proof” some people will believe her lies, sob stories or even blame you for being sleekit and devising a trap and then humiliating her. I think some people believe that you will be able to wave this “proof” about and the rest of the family will ostracise her, but it doesn’t happen like that in real life. Especially when OP is the one that “married in”, and like it or not, people for the most part do tend to stick by their relatives or at least try to make excuses for their crappy behaviour.

Better to let her go prior to the two year point for an unrelated reason as suggested above- business levels being probably your best option and offering the least opportunity for blame on your part. By doing that it will be awkward for a while but things will ultimately will return to “normal” whilst you remain aware of her true colours –and never offer her a job again--.

prh47bridge · 15/05/2018 13:44

I agree with MargaretCavendish. There is no reason at all to believe that all three items were taken by the same person, especially given the timescales and the fact they all seem to have disappeared from public areas. You have the public in your clinic. Things will get stolen unless you keep them secure. If stuff was disappearing from areas that were not open to the general public it would be more suspicious. But as things stand you appear to be jumping to conclusions on very flimsy evidence.

I don't find the fact that your employee said she has never seen you in a leather jacket significant. People can be surprisingly unobservant. My wife recently commented that she had never seen me in a particular item of clothing before, despite the fact that she had actually seen me wear it hundreds of times.

Have you actually checked the CCTV as the police recommended?

You could let her go. If you do, I wouldn't try to trap her. If I was getting rid of her I would do so for another reason. But my first step would be to stop leaving personal possessions in areas that are accessible to the public. In all honesty, I suspect that will stop the thefts. But, if anything is stolen, you will, presumably, have CCTV evidence to show you who is guilty.

Original poster
Poodlesandnoodles · 15/05/2018 21:26

I shouldn't need to worry about hanging my coat up at work,
I shouldn't need to worry that the sentimental bangle I took off and put in a very safe place is going to be taken by a staff member!

OP posts:
prh47bridge · 15/05/2018 22:13

You shouldn't have to worry about members of staff. But if you leave something in an area accessible to your clients you risk a client taking it. If it was the staff member you need to take action. But you don't have anything approaching proof. All you have is suspicion based on an assumption that all three items were taken by the same person. That assumption may not be true.

Jessica0905 · 15/05/2018 22:28

Just looking for opinions really, and to see if this is normal 😂 My 2YO is watched overnight on a Monday by MIL as I work on a Tuesday until 7pm. Hubby up mega early to go to work and finishes late. Unknown to MIL and hubby I took a holiday from work today and LOVED it. Got up at 12 noon, faffed about, went for a bath and a
lie down later. Contemplating doing this once a month 🤪 Anyone else do the same?

Original poster
Poodlesandnoodles · 15/05/2018 22:54

Wrong thread x

OP posts:
Original poster
Poodlesandnoodles · 15/05/2018 23:01

So you think it's more likely that I have up to three seperate theives (as no two customers have been in on more than one of these days)

.....Than a staff member who is in consecutivly, who knows the lay out of the spa, CCTV, and 'safe' places?

Im aware I have no solid proof, and I'm not saying there's not an ounce of possibility you are all right.
But I have to say......I know in my gut it's her, and I will catch her out!

OP posts:
MargaretCavendish · 16/05/2018 06:10

So you think it's more likely that I have up to three seperate theives (as no two customers have been in on more than one of these days)

How many clients have you had over the last eight months, since the first thing went missing? Because if it's hundreds then yes, I do think three of them being thieves is not a particularly surprising rate.

SheStoodInTheStorm · 16/05/2018 06:57

Some confusion here with PP @SickofThomasTheTank and @SickofPeterRabbit

OP I have no advice I'm afraid, I'm sorry you've lost something so sentimental though Thanks

prh47bridge · 16/05/2018 09:30

So you think it's more likely that I have up to three seperate theives

If the thefts had been close together a single thief would be more likely. As they took place over 8 months and were all, apparently, from areas accessible to clients it is indeed more likely that you have three separate thieves unless you have a very small clientele. If you have 100 clients it is likely that at least 3 of them would steal given the opportunity.

tradervictoria · 16/05/2018 10:29

OP, everything you have said points to there being one thief since you can eliminate others through not being present, etc.
Always follow your gut, it is usually right.

But why is catching her more important to you than letting her go, wouldn't you rather dispense with the drama?

prh47bridge · 16/05/2018 11:08

everything you have said points to there being one thief since you can eliminate others through not being present

No it doesn't. If you assume there is only one thief it points to this employee being the thief as she is the only person present on all three occasions. But there is absolutely nothing to indicate that all three thefts were committed by the same person. If they were different thieves it would not be surprising that there were different people present on each occasion.

gryffen · 16/05/2018 11:56

Maybe a possibility here.

If you have photos of the items and especially of the braclet and you wearing it then get them printed out and laminated.

Call a meeting and do it in view of CCTV so no mistakes are made.

Clearly state that three items have gone missing from the areas in recent months and one item which is incredibly valuable due to a lost child has been stolen. Police have been informed and items logged, CCTV is going to be monitored and ACAS has been contacted for detailed information if theft occurs in a business and the owners rights.

What you can say is the other items don't matter but the bracelet is priceless due to the memories and the whole place has been searched from top to bottom and most customers have been cleared due to location etc.

Give a working week for items to be "found" and if items returned then no more said but reviews of employment will happen before the two year on everyone's contract is up.

State clearly that you hope it's not any of the staff as it's a betrayal of family and trust and it will be mentioned in any forms if found to have been involved.

Wait the week and if magically someone brings the items back after a thorough search of all areas (with photos for evidence!) Then you may have a suspect.

The problem with setting a trap is you can get into a legal issue (America calls it entrapment) so not sure what UK calls similar issue and it's not worth the hassle.

Check your CCTV (if anyone says they aren't happy about it then you have right of suspicion) and as long as cameras are marked up with clear signs then they have no comeback but do have a right to view via FOI.

I'm by no means an expert in law or employment but 10+ years in security for massive companies and public safety have taught me a few tricks and I can't abide thieves especially in the workplace (I've had stuff stolen by colleagues) and nailed them for it.

Good luck

PetulantPolecat · 16/05/2018 11:59

“even blame you for being sleekit and devising a trap and then humiliating her. ”

Yup. Absolutely idiotic idea to “trap” her. Even the bait is idiotic. A leather jacket worth a hundred maybe to a diamond ring worth thousands? And she’s so stupid she’s going to pick up a £7 ring and believe it’s a platinum diamond. Oh, ok!

Happygummibear · 16/05/2018 14:41

I agree with gryfen. This is a much more transparent and open way of finding the culprit. Treat your staff with some respect and they might just be a bit more honest and come clean. If it is one of the staff given them an opportunity to come clean but don't expect then to do it in front of everyone else

By using trapping you are just as bad as the person or people who stole from you

MerryWoman · 16/05/2018 15:27

Check your CCTV (if anyone says they aren't happy about it then you have right of suspicion)
Not necessarily - people don't like being watched, even if they have nothing to hide

Original poster
Poodlesandnoodles · 19/05/2018 18:21

I think the disrespectful person here is the person stealing from their employer.....and not me!

Ok so an update. Always trust your gut!!

Family member has been arrested as she was caught with her hand in the till (£310 of marked notes with a UV pen)
And skimmimg customers (not adding them to the appointment book and taking the money)

I am hoping that she will admit the other items stolen.

Thankyou from the bottom of my heart for all your help I really appreciate it!

Now I'm going to have a very large drink!

OP posts:
Soundsgood · 19/05/2018 18:28

I really hope you get the bracelet back OP

Otterseatpuffinsdontthey · 19/05/2018 20:24

Really pleased you've managed to catch the thief - wouldn't like to hazard a guess at how much she has stolen over the last 18 months. That's gratitude for you - some people have no shame. Hope you get your personal property returned, particularly the bangle.
Enjoy your drink! WineGinFlowers

ParentInCharge · 20/05/2018 08:46

Firstly, I'm so sorry this has happened. Secondly, I really hope you get your stuff back.
How are the family taking it? Be prepared for someone to jump to her defence. "She's a single mum", "She needs the money,", "Family wouldn't report their own.." etc.

RayDropofGoldenSun · 20/05/2018 09:02

Wow she really bit the hand that fed her. What has the family response been to this?

Opheliasgoldenwine · 20/05/2018 09:17

I really hope you get the bracelet back OP Thanks

dejectedharry · 20/05/2018 09:25

Wow OP I have been following this and I was really wondering how you could get her. Hope the family fall out isn't too bad and they are supportive of you Flowers

Tabathatwitchett · 20/05/2018 09:40

She sounds like a piece of work! Hope you get it all back OP.