Am I being sensitive

[Thetimehascometo]

I’ve been off work due to a respiratory issue since November, I had been trying to battle through until my GP sat me down and pointed out I was just making myself work and if I carried on as I was I was never going to get better. I was off for a month then tried to go back but Work made me
Worse again so the GP signed me off again until I could be seen by respiratory.

There’s a 40 week waiting list for respiratory in our area... however I found out shortly after going off I was pregnant so have been bumped up the list a little (will be seen at the end of this month) but have still yet to be seen (Baby is due in September).

Anyway since I have been off I have received next to no contact off work. My colleagues (who I have supported through their own isssues) seem to be totally ignoring me- and in all honesty I’m not sure why! I get it’s difficult covering others, but I’ve been told by more than 1 doctor I should not be in work. It’s almost like they think they’re medical professionals and I’m not ill enough for them to allow time off. I’ve been ignored when texting them and one has been even gone so far as to delete me off Facebook. My line manager refused to do my annual review as he felt uncomfortable (even though he had passed my targets at my mid year review) so I had this with a member of senior management who wouldn’t tell me if I had passed as he had to review it with my line manager 🙄. I know my department can be bitchy but this seems a little extreme!

I just feel a little badly treated. Not one person has checked in that I’m ok, they simply receive the sick notes, no attempts were made to help modify my duties when I did go back into work, and even my Gp is shocked no referral to occupational health has been made. He has suggested as they have been so unsupportive he just signs me off until I go on maternity leave. But I don’t really want to play that game... I want to be better, and I want to be in work, but with the way everything has played out I am also pretty anxious about going back in. DH has suggested bringing it up with management but I’m a little aware it just sounds a little whiny. ‘No one has asked if I’m ok even though I’ve been sick for 6 months’ I’d half expect the reply of well they were busy covering you or something. Thoughts?

In the companies I've worked for it was always frowned upon for staff members to contact sick colleagues. I think that it came from a belief that the sick person should not be feeling pressurised in anyway (which could be seen as a breach of their duty of care) or that nosy people were invading their privacy (which would also be a no-no as information about sickness should not be office gossip).

I'm not sure if your colleagues are just being overcautious about contacting you, or if there is some sort of ill-feeling. Could you speak to your manager or HR department? Particularly if you are asking them to consider ways to change your work to enable you to return.

I wouldn't worry about it. Just focus on your health and getting better. Thats way more important. They are colleagues not friends and family. Im sure they dont have any hard feeling and have their own things to worry about.

Honestly, what ‘respiratory’ issue, other than pneumonia or CRD, could have you signed off since November? They don’t believe you. That’s all there is to it.

Your manager should be contacting you at mutually agreed times and be finding out what support you need to return to work. An OH referral would be a good idea so that reasonable adjustments can be looked at. It doesn't sound like your absence is being managed in any way whatsoever - I'm not surprised you're unhappy. Do you have a union you could contact for support?

I agree with mimibunz - If the illness is serious enough to warrant 5 months off work I don't understand why you haven't been prioritized as a more urgent case given the severe effect it's having on your life. I would be pushing for a more urgent referral or a private consultant referral if you can afford it ?

Thanks @ScreamingValenta I think this is half the issue. I’ve been in touch with my union, just waiting to hear back off them to see what they advise.

@mimibunz, I’m glad you are also medically trained. But if it was nothing surely my GP wouldn’t continue to write sick notes and pursue respiratory for a more urgent referral? In our area there is just limited wiggle room on the waiting list (they’re drastically failing to meet cancer targets and the trust is in special measures) the gp has also had a reply suggesting investigations- many of which he (and his colleagues) are unwilling to do due to pregnancy.