Hi everyone - thought I'd appeal to the Mumsnet hive mind for help with a tricky situation.
Some background: my partner and I have recently gone through some pretty big changes in our life. We have just bought our first house after saving up for years, but in order to get a decent-sized place for our money we decided to move away from London and relocate to my partner's hometown. Neither of us could have commuted to our old workplaces from here, so we both quit our old jobs before we moved house just over a year ago. The nature of my own profession meant it was practically impossible for me to find another similar job, so I've gone freelance and set up my own business working from home, which so far is going OK.
The problem, though, isn't me - it's my partner.
He is a solicitor and was really lucky in finding a new job that's well-paid and in a handy location near our new home.
At first we thought we'd struck gold and he was really excited about the new opportunity, but it soon became apparent that the new job was going to be a lot more difficult and stressful than his previous one (he used to work in the public sector so it was quite different, but not as well paid). Now, a year on, he's saying that he took his old job for granted and didn't realise how easy he had it - despite a ridiculous commute every day which left him with no free time, he at least enjoyed the work and found it challenging in a good way, without being too stressful. With the new job, he was basically drafted in to help a busy and understaffed department, and they're also trying to attract and retain new clients, so he spends a lot of his time trying to satisfy unreasonable demands from clients who don't understand how busy he is and just doesn't have enough hours in the day to get everything done on his own. Even though his commute is now just a few minutes, he's stressed and sad every night when he gets home (often stupidly late) and has started to dread going into the office each morning as he knows he's likely to be shouted at by clients for not getting things done quickly enough for their liking. He doesn't have much help from the rest of his department as they are all based in other offices and are equally overworked themselves. They had promised that they were hiring a new person, but it's likely that even if this new person does materialise, my partner will end up even more stressed as he'll be expected to train them and supervise them and it probably won't help much even in the long run as there will still be far too much work even between two of them.
So basically he's been wondering for a while now about changing careers. He knows that if he simply looks for another solicitor position it probably won't be any easier than this one. It's not the firm or even the particular role that's the problem - I think he's come to realise that the whole profession is stressful and he has come to the point in life where he just wants out; wants to do something he actually enjoys; wants an easier life.
I do worry that he might end up just as unhappy in another career too, as surely any job can turn out different to what you imagined - the grass is always greener, etc. - but at the same time I can't just sit by and watch him continue in this job that is clearly destroying him as a person. It affects our relationship too, as when he's stressed about work he tends to snap at me easily and then I of course get upset.
He has hobbies such as gardening and outdoor pursuits that he'd absolutely love to turn into a career, but, like most people, he can't afford to just jack it all in and do something like that for love and no money. With me being newly self-employed, we are relying on his high income to pay the bills and mortgage. If my business becomes more successful over the next few years then we might be in a more flexible position, but for now it would be impossible for him to drop down to a low income job. I just don't think he can hold out much longer in this job without going crazy.
So, without wishing to ask for the impossible (and to be honest it's been useful for me to just write all of this out, so I won't be too disappointed if nothing comes of this!), has anyone else been in a similar situation? Or can anyone think of other decent career options for my disenchanted solicitor???
Yours hopefully,
Just A Girll