Bitter Co worker

[chaznip]

They have been in post for about 4 years, I joined just over 2 years ago and was trained by Co worker.

Assistant manager position of our team came up and we both applied. I was successful. This has lead to some bitterness. Co worker has not said one word about my promotion, or congratulated me. I haven't made a big deal of it, as I didn't want to upset him, but I'm really pleased and it's disappointing that I can't talk about it.

There is bad feeling and a tense atmosphere.It's not directly directed at me, but its odd comments here and there, if my manager asks me a question, this Co worker will butt into the conversation - with an opposing view to whatever I have said. To add to this Other people in the office have said that my co worker should have got the position, (which makes me feel wonderful!) again not directly to me, but in my vicinity so I have overheard.

Has anyone been in this position before and have any idea how best to deal?

I've been in this position, I would speak to your manager and tell them how you feel. The unsuccessful candidate has to suck it up, hopefully they got feedback of why they didn't get the job and may move on.

So he trained you from scratch and then you have been promoted over him. Either you must have been the better candidate or, for whatever reason, they preferred you.Why do you think other people in the office think he should have been appointed?

You were the better candidate, but I think expecting him to congratulate you is a bit much!

The best strategy is probably to be pleasant and tactful to him.

Seen this happen in a previous job, where, like you, the trained up person was promoted over the chap who'd trained her. I don't think he fell out with her as such, but he refused to work under her as a team leader and was granted a move to another team.

i can understand you needing his cooperation to get the job done, but expecting him to be all happy and offering you congratulations for beating him to the job isn't realistic. Ignore people's opinions, it's nothing to do with them, and what do they know anyway.

All you can do is continue to be professional and adjust your expectations so that he becomes another colleague in the office that you have to get along with, during office hours.

There is suck up and then the is gloating / rubbing it in while yes he can be disappointed but should not show this on the other hand the OP should not be going around gleeful she got a promotion and equally should not be showing this as they are equally bad in my books.

Its completely unreasonable to expect him to be happy for you / congratulate you on beating him to the post.

You both need to be professional about this you can be happy and gleeful about your promotion in your own time to your family and friends as doing so in office can be taken as rubbing it in his face and can justifiably be treated as office based bullying so be warned about that front.

Havent been in your position, but have been in your co workers and it sucks big time.
Stop gloating.

I've been in your co-worker's position twice in the last year and it stings, especially as the first person stayed in post only a few months before leaving and I still didn't get the job when it come up again, despite having been in the team and the company longer than both successful candidates.

The first time, the unsuccessful candidate was going to get demoted and that ended up being me. So understandably I was really p*ssed when she ended up leaving the company very shortly afterwards (we all knew she had another job lined up, even at interview stage, but she still got it). I'm pissed I'm still at demoted stage.

My current manager (who was at my level and actually my colleague before my demotion) has also gone for a higher level job twice and both times been unsuccessful despite being more experienced than any of the other candidates and training both of them.

This is public sector we are in.