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Original poster

Occasions at work

24 replies

HNR1129 · 21/04/2018 17:05

Hello,

I started to work for an NHS trust a year ago after leaving college,and is my first job. When I started working on the ward the told me that they put in £5 for occasions such as birthday, people leaving ECT. There are only about 25 people on the ward so over the past year I have put in about £150 but when it came to my birthday I didn't recieve anything which i was a bit miffed about cos they make a big deal about putting money in on time for everybody elses. I was on annual leave for 2 weeks on my birthday but worked the day before my last so that was there excuse for it. But it was someones birthday and leaving party in the coming days so when asked for it I just said that I didnt have any money but she rolled her eyes at me and said I wasnt been a team player and since then some staff have been treating me differently. Has anybody got any advice on what I should do?

OP posts:

Aridane · 21/04/2018 17:12

Eek

AlexanderHamilton · 21/04/2018 17:15

Be honest & say you arnt putting in for other people’s birthdays any more as you are obviously not part of the collection group due to you not getting anything for your birthday.

flowery · 21/04/2018 17:15

Have you spoken to your manager about it?

PuppyMonkey · 21/04/2018 17:21

You all put a fiver in for just normal birthdays? So 25 people x £5 each?

That’s a bloody lot. £1 more appropriate surely?

But yep I’d say you hadn’t got your purse with you in future. If anyone makes a comment, just tell them you thought it wasn’t compulsory any more seeing as you didn’t get anything last time yourself.

myidentitymycrisis · 21/04/2018 17:23

I would be really upset if I were you. Speak up and ask suggest they change the system. We put in if we want to and only people who have put in get to sign the card and all their names go on the voucher too. If anyone wants to get a personal present for a special friend they can. People bring their own cakes in for their birthday.

loulou987 · 21/04/2018 17:23

I hate all this birthday crap at work. I contributed to the yearly fund / collection when I was skint & really needed that money. For my birthday I got some crappy bath set which I didn't end up using & donated to charity.

IMO birthdays are for spending / giving / receiving with your family etc.

I find the whole thing rather childish. I mean let's face it how can a bunch of ( near strangers ) possibly know what to get you / what you like?! You just end up with generic crap you just end up putting in s cupboard.

Balls to the eye rollers, tell them you are out like I will be doing next year.

Also £150 you've contributed... I mean WTF that's a lot of money ffs. I can't stand it all, it's pathetic & childish if you ask me.

SauvignonBlanche · 21/04/2018 17:23

That’s a bit shitty all round, I’d let your manager know.

Original poster

HNR1129 · 21/04/2018 19:20

Thanks for the replies. Yeah they said everybody gives in a fiver so its fair for everybody they do get quite alot with big brands such as pandora on so on, plus it was a big birthday milestone for me. It is a smaller ward where everybody does actually get on and we all see each other quite regularly and know everything that goes on. I did say I hadnt my purse on me for a few days but she said that she was going to get it that day and that I could owe her as i Said i got my gift for my manager whose is leaving because she has been good to my through the year and I did want to get her something for everything she has done which is why I cant go to her as she leaving cos she sick of the management sides, but I dont know what to say to the person in charge of events cos she can be bitchy and make it hard to work with her /

OP posts:

BakedBeans47 · 21/04/2018 19:22

Has anybody got any advice on what I should do?

Tell them what you told us, that given you didn’t get anything for your own birthday you’re not inclined to contribute any more?

ElinoristhenewEnid · 21/04/2018 21:13

Did they actually know it was your milestone birthday? Have had situations when 'birthday lists' were not updated and people missed out.

Original poster

HNR1129 · 21/04/2018 21:37

Yeah as when she told me that they put a fiver in they asked what my birthday was and in the weeks before my birthday they asked what I w had annual leave booked for and I said I was going on holiday for my 21st and no one else has missed out on anything over the entire year she always prepared with event to make sure everyone has time

OP posts:

Winchester13 · 22/04/2018 07:52

Aww I think that’s really unfair :( they should’ve got you something for your 21st!

backsackcraic · 22/04/2018 07:57

I'd be honest, I'd say you've calculated that you've contributed £150 and had hoped to receive a lovely gift on your birthday. You're on a low income and can't afford to keep contributing and as your birthday wasn't acknowledged by the team you'd prefer to no longer contribute as you feel you've been overlooked.

ElinoristhenewEnid · 22/04/2018 08:04

That's really mean xx

Monny1 · 22/04/2018 08:04

That’s awful , l feel really sorry for you.l know it’s hard, but you do need to say something or they will get away with it.

AlienHatchling · 22/04/2018 11:05

I had the same at the NHS trust where I last worked, I was there 5 years, was always asked to donate to the birthday fund, I had my 40th while I was there and I got zilch. Tried not to take it personally. At least I have since left!

Lanie233 · 22/04/2018 11:11

Wow fuck that - that's A LOT of money! Just change your religion to a Jehovahs Witness you don't do birthdays anymore, sweet! Also one of the worst things someone could buy me is a pandora bracelet. I don't know why adults like wearing silly charm bracelets. Overpriced shit

Candy500 · 07/06/2018 22:02

Totally agree drives me nuts standing around awkwardly passing cake everyone seems to hate it but are afraid to say it

redexpat · 08/06/2018 19:02

You need to raise it directly with someone. It was my 21st birthday on x date. I havent received anything from the team. Why is this?

Depending on the response I would raise it at your next appraisal and say that you dont feel included in the team.

If you keep making excuses like I havent got my purse nothing will change because they dont know about it. I bet the majority would be mortified at finding out that you had been missed.

Babyroobs · 08/06/2018 21:27

I just spent 14 years working on the same ward. I've put into collections for peoples birthdays/ leaving/ bereavement/ 40th birthdays / 50th birthdays/ contributed to huge baskets of baby stuff for pregnant collegues/ Silver wedding anniversaries - everything ! I left 2 months ago and got nothing - no leaving tea, no bunch of flowers, not even a card. I just try not to think about it too much as I just get upset !

Catchuptv · 10/06/2018 17:50

Don't put into it anymore. What a rip of £5.00 for 25 people - if you like someone that much at work you'd buy them a present yourself. £1 would be enough to get someone a candle, card and cake which is enough for a birthday.

thecatsthecats · 12/06/2018 08:40

I've not told anyone about my engagement at work because I don't want some naff collection to be handed to the woman who buys presents (lovely, buys extras with her own money, but all very infantile, cheap tat), to be produced for me to later take to the charity shop.

I'm very glad my workplace has a policy of a gift and card from the company so we don't get sucked into this crap. (though I'm going to be a meanie and cut the budget in half - a tenner is fine!)

ElinorOliphantIsCompletelyFine · 12/06/2018 08:43

I work for a very small you company so my our managing director just gets a card and a cake, and we all stand around and have a chat. Much less pressure. I agree with PPs that you should bring it up as you don't feel included.

UghAgh · 12/06/2018 09:30

Do you have group meetings? If you do I think you could raise it. Just say that you think it needs looking at again because it's too much money and that the gift giving is erratic. Personally I'd be happy to mention that I hadn't got anything fir my birthday but even if you were too shy too then maybe people would twig.

I'd definitely say something. If you don't it will bug you forever 😠

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