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Leaving my job, I have had enough

19 replies

Stormy76 · 19/04/2018 11:21

I made a decision last night whilst talking to my dh that I will be handing in my notice at my current job because I can't take anymore.

Back story: I have been working for the same trust for 6/7 years and the first 4 were fantastic I worked with a fab team, I was finally working in my dream job and I absolutely loved it. I had a complete change of career and was hoping to train as a MH nurse, I cannot put into words how much I loved my new role. Then I got injured and that was the start of my problems. I could no longer work in my role because my injury was too bad so I had to change jobs, I was seconded for a while into a different post but it was only temporary so I found a new job in the same trust. This was a huge mistake.

Day 1 in my new job, I walked into the office and spent the whole bored out of my mind, I had no work to do and no real communication with any one.
Day 2 walked in to see 2 staff members having a fight in the corner of the office over a pen pot, a bit of shouting and carrying on. I was gobsmacked. It got worse from there, day three I was told a load of unasked for gossip about another staff member......it just went on. Everyday something happened, there were regular screaming rows between staff in the middle of the office, one member of staff kept having hissy fits, bursting into tears and running out of the office. Bitching, nastiness for me it was like walking into a war zone, completely unpredictable behaviour. During all this craziness my injury was getting worse and worse and I was struggling to get referred to the right place, my pain control was non existent because my GP thought I had a muscular problem. My boss was giving me a hard time because I needed time off for hospital appointments, I didn't have a desk, I was being told one thing by her one day and then she would do something else. She reduced me to tears because I was speaking to a colleague about work and she assumed we were gossiping so we got shouted at in the middle of the office. I was crying everyday, I hated going to work and I was drowning. After 5 months of this I had a complete breakdown, I walked out of the office, a member of the team had taken something and blown it out of proportion, accused me of picking on her because she was the youngest and I left.

I was put on antidepressants by my GP and signed off work with work related stress, my GP was fantastic. Occy Health were also fantastic, they fully understood where I was coming from and actually had to step in to tell my boss that she needed to leave me alone. My boss rowed with the head of the Occy Health dept because she felt it was up to her to decide if I was fit for work and was planning to just turn up at my house, she was informed that I was unfit for work and turning up at my house was harassment. I was off for 6 months and needed longer but my pay going to half meant I needed to go back, I had no option.
I was offered redeployment but I thought I could make it work.

I have had non stop battles over my injury, I was injured at work and feel that they should support me in my recovery, my boss see's me as a nuisance. She has never had a complaint about my work, I am very good at it I work bloody hard but I have limitations because of my injury, well it's permenant and is now considered a disability. I have had surgery to try and ease the pain and after the first one on my hand, she threatened my job because my hand was very swollen and she hadn't listened to my and had put me on the rota for a job that I told her would aggravate it......she never listens.......she told me 'she would have to consider my position if I couldn't write' which was completely unfair. When I came back from my first surgery, that day I was given a new job to do, she took it off another staff member who was making a complete mess of it and this caused huge amounts of tension for me as this staff member blames me for 'taking her job'.

She questions constantly if it was a workplace injury which is insulting and I did datix it, I have had to have formal sickness reviews because I am having planned surgery.....even though I was told at the last one that I wouldn't need another sickness review they are planning another one! She won't consider my surgery separately from any other sickness.

So I have had a second surgery .....this not the last one I will be having because this was a bad injury......and I went back to work on Tuesday, this was a much bigger surgery and has taken its toll on me. So my first day back, straight away I get told she is doing a second stage sickness review .......even though I was told the above at the last one? Then I find out that whilst I was off that they had to get the girl who did my job before to help out....not a problem for me but I anticipated problems because this particular girl is territorial and difficult to work with at the best of times. So I noticed that this girl was being funny with me and she was rude when I spoke to her but I let it go, day one and everything. I was getting a lot of emails from this girl about a relatively trivial matter so I thought it would make it easier if she sent me the whole email and I could do the trivial job whilst she got on with the bigger job she had in hand. I made the mistake of approaching her and she just lost her shit at me, she didn't listen, told me I was unprofessional, ungrateful and that she knew I didn't want her doing the work.......tbh I don't because she made a complete pigs ear of it last time but I would never ever say that. Other people did see and hear what went on and did try to get her to see sense but she was too far gone. I have been off for two days but did ring my manager to speak to her about it and she started saying that I hadn't listened to the girl and she had worked really hard and I was at fault. The only thing I did wrong was asking a question, this girl is always difficult so I was super careful in my approach but as usual it's all my fault.

So I am done, I am sick of dealing with the crap and lack of support. I should never have gone back there after my breakdown. Sorry this has turned into an epic tale of woe but I just had to let it all out

OP posts:
Poshindevon · 19/04/2018 12:49

I have said this before on MN but I live my life by it.
"Never stay anywhere be it work or a relationship, that makes you unhappy. Life is too short."
You were not thinking straight to go back to work in that vipers den, but your out of it now. Take this chance to see a reputable firm of solicitors regarding your workplace injury
No win no fee.
Look after yourself.Flowers

Ilovecamping · 19/04/2018 13:49

Have you spoken to your HR department, your manager appears to not know how to manage and have control of the office, if that bad your only choice is to leave for your own well-being

Stormy76 · 19/04/2018 14:56

I have to go into a meeting tomorrow with my manager and the girl who went off her nut at me, I am going to see what happens. I may well raise a grievance about the situation because it was completely uncalled for. The only reason I have stayed is because there are major changes afoot in the trust and I thought I could wait it out because I will end up working somewhere else anyway but it's not worth all this aggro. This girl has it in her head that she has been doing me this massive favour by doing all this work for me.....but she has just been doing a job she was asked to do .......the same as I was? The job doesn't belong to anyone it's just work and anyone could do it. She certainly deserves thanks and appreciation from my boss but I don't feel like I owe her anything .....she was just doing her job not a personal favour for me? If I do something wrong I will always hold my hand up and apologise but I am not apologising for asking a simple question.....she was bang out of order.

I am going to see how the next two weeks pan out and if nothing changes I will be putting my notice in and leaving, I don't even care at this point whether I have something to go to or not. I haven't bothered with HR tbh because I think that they are only there for the employers and not the employees. I don't want a job move because this whole thing will be hanging over me, I just want to leave it behind. I have just been unfortunate to have taken a job in an office full of people who don't know how to behave. The whole thing has been a disaster.

OP posts:
Travis1 · 20/04/2018 16:30

Hope today went well OP

Stormy76 · 21/04/2018 06:19

It was pointless, went in for a 'clear the air' meeting. My boss was really nervous and started off by saying 'we are not going to go over what happened, in an office this small people are going to fall out from time to time'. That was it, we were told to keep it professional and there was a brief bit about our work and that was it. I said very little, absolutely no acknowledgement that what happened was uncalled for, the other girl took zero responsibility for her actions.

I then went into another Team office, they are who we work with, and was asked if everything was OK now, I didn't really say anything because nothing was resolved....I just said it's fine, just a shitty first day back. Then she proceeded to tell me ...unasked for and pretty patronising.....that we can't all be friends and we all have different personalities.....I am 42 and have managed very well in every other job I have ever been in ....I think I have that worked out by now. I just cut her off by saying that I thought there was a lot more going on with that girl than just that.

It's quite insulting because I know that she was in speaking to this girl for over an hour, she has only heard one side of the story but thinks she knows enough to lecture me on being an adult? On the other hand my boss was in with this girl for a couple of hours, she hasn't spoken to me about it.....not interested in the slightest in talking to me other than the very brief phone call where I was told that I hadn't listened to this girl, she didn't have a chance to speak, all very one sided......she had made up her mind as to what happened with out even bothering to speak to me. The colleague that reported the whole thing to my boss managed to speak to me afterwards and said she was so sorry, she had told my boss exactly what I was trying to say to this girl and how badly she reacted to it. She kept telling me that I didn't do anything wrong, and that was nice to hear because she was actually in the room and she saw what happened.

My notice is drafted and sitting in my drawer ready to go, I have dated it for the end of the month. Just doing that has made me feel 100 times better, because I am struggling to sleep and to cope with stuff again and I refuse to allow this job to tip me over the edge.

OP posts:
iMatter · 21/04/2018 06:28

This sounds like a completely poisonous work environment.

They also sound like a bunch of immature emotional and frankly incompetent people. I was going to say they sound like bunch of teenagers but that's insulting to teenagers tbh.

Have you taken advice on your next step if you leave (which it sounds like you should)? Is there a constructive dismissal claim in there anywhere?

If you can get out then get out.

Good luck Thanks

Stormy76 · 21/04/2018 06:37

I will just put my notice in and request a leavers interview. There is a questionnaire as well asking for your reasons. I can't face even trying for constructive dismissal, she would lie anyway, she lied early on in my breakdown saying that she had no idea that I was so stressed. It was not true, I was sat in her office crying my eyes out the week before I walked out......that was pointed out to her ....so she changed her story to say she didn't know why I was stressed....another lie. Plus it's the NHS so it would take forever and I just want to move on.

One of my colleagues described it as a toxic environment yesterday and she is right, another one said that it has always been the Same. Lots of people are leaving right now......there are changes taking place.....she is a terrible manager but her face fits and that is often all you need in the NHS it's all about who you know not what you know.

OP posts:
LOVELYDOVEY05 · 21/04/2018 10:22

Try not to leave a job without having something else in mind. Better to leave when you have another job

Stormy76 · 21/04/2018 17:22

I am not too worried about that at the moment, i just need to get out of there as soon as I can

OP posts:
Stormy76 · 24/04/2018 00:17

At the moment I am on gradual return to work, doing two days a week for two weeks and then a three day week and then back to four days a week. I think once I am back at 4 days a week I will hand in my notice.

I am being professional at work and chatting with this girl but I am so stressed out, I have started smoking again because it calms me down. I had a shitty weekend and ended up in floods of tears, I know I have made the right decision, it's just stupid to hand in my notice when I am only there 2 days a week at the moment. My boss is normally one who does supervision regularly but as yet she has not sent me a date for supervision.......but the date for the stage 2 sickness review has been set. I spoke to and emailed HR today to try and get that sickness review stopped, I will have to wait until I hear back from them. In the meantime, I have to just get on with it ...it's not forever ...another 6 weeks max.

OP posts:
Slartybartfast · 24/04/2018 09:13

Are you in a union op?

Slartybartfast · 24/04/2018 09:14

Alternatively will occ health back you up, offer counselling ?

Stormy76 · 25/04/2018 00:17

No I didn't need join the union, our Occy Health has just been changed so I don't know how much use they will be. I hadn't to go down the route of Occy Health previously and they were great then but it's different now.

What gets me is that my manager wasn't there when this incident happened and neither was the patronising cow who told me I can't be friends with everyone, but they feel that they know exactly what happened and they don't. Neither of them are interested in asking me what happened, and they have dismissed any impact on me. As though it is ok to behave like that. I will soon be out of there and I have to trust in karma because what goes around comes around and all 3 of them will get theirs.

OP posts:
WhereverIMayRoam · 25/04/2018 02:20

Stormy it's not that I'd be encouraging people to pursue personal injury claims on a whim but if I understand you correctly you suffered an injury at work that has left you with a permanent disability, requiring ongoing treatment and limits your career options? If this happened less than 2 years ago you really need to consider going to a solicitor. If it was more than 2 years then you're out of time unfortunately.

You have been treated appallingly btw and in your position I would leave.

Stormy76 · 26/04/2018 09:44

Yeah I have already spoken to a solicitor, to make a claim I would have to prove negligence on their part and I can't, I was fully trained and well experienced, I was working with 2 other staff members who were also trained and very experienced, one was a qualified nurse. The solicitors have advised me that it is considered as a complete accident and there is no case to make. Whilst this is frustrating I do understand and would not want to push to pursue a case I cannot win.

OP posts:
Stormy76 · 26/04/2018 09:47

I am going to leave, I will prob hand in my notice in a couple of weeks. I have put a date in my diary to do it on. I don't expect my boss to be particularly bothered really, I think I am seen as a nuisance. I don't think I am valued as an employee at all, I need a fresh start but it's such a shame that it will end this way because the first 4 years were brilliant.

OP posts:
Sparklyshoes16 · 10/05/2018 17:50

This sounds EXACTLY like my soon to be ex work place especially the part about arguing over a pen pot!! I really feel for you OP!! Trust me get your notice in and don't look back the NHS is THE most toxic place I've ever worked it's made me so ill...good luck OP things will get better and you'll be able to look back and know it was not you!!

Stormy76 · 15/05/2018 23:14

Knowing that I will be leaving soon is keeping me going. Just have to wait until next month so we are ok financially.......but having my notice drafted and ready to go is a huge boost!

OP posts:
Sparklyshoes16 · 16/05/2018 12:39

Well done it's scary but you won't regret it! Nothing is worse than working somewhere that's toxic it's a slow killer...good luck it will work out!

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