Work stress and depression - what are my options

[GeorgiesFlow]

Hi all,

Was hoping i can get your views, stories and guidance on the situation i am in.
I have joined a company just over a year ago , in a role where i am being held responsible for the success of the deliveries. I have been challenged on a constant basis by the two main resources working with me, which has caused a lot of stress. Issue has been raised with my manager and, as times, with both my manager and his manager. At the times they have got involved in trying to resolve them. As it was going, every 2 months i would be at square 1 again.

The level of stress reached its peak at the end of last year and from the 1st of January i had 2 straight weeks of not sleeping more than 2h a nigh nor eating, with levels of anxiety being off the roof. I have been diagnosed with depression, i did not take the prescribed medication as that would have impaired me from being able to work but did accept to be put on a waitlist for therapy. Had a fist engagement with them and was supposed to hear after from the doctors. But never did.

2 months gone and the level of stress has dramatically increased again. Hardly slept for 2 weeks, completly lost apetite, getting ill when i force myself to eat, migranes.

Cherry on the top came yesterday, when one of the guys on the team said in front of everyone that is my fault he has given incorrect information to the directors. Although 2 days before he was accuaing my managers and the day before communicated that there is no issue.

I am in an uncomfortable situation where I have to report things that are not true. Linked with manager and advised not to tell a lie but not to tell the truth either. I find skewing the truth as unethical.

I genuinely cannot find a way out. This is affecting my healh (stress and anxiety) and causing for me to be unable to do my work ( i am not slacking but cannot perform my job as much as i try).

I want to leave the company but worried on how it will turn out (have a mortgage and no one that can support with anything).

Told my manager on on Friday that i want to take the day off to go to the doctors because of stress and not feeling well. I have been told that I am not allowed to and that if i think of leaving the job, i am a quitter.
I would like to:

• go to the GP and try getting signed off work for 2 weeks
• resign on the day i get back into work
• in the meantime look for a new job

Questions:

• given the manager knowing the reason and not accepting it (they are trying to resolve something which is not the cause if the problems i am facing), am i facing the risk of being dismissed while being off?
• in either situation (signed off and leaving or dismissed), what are my chances of this affecting me from getting a new job?
• are there any options i have not considered?

Really sorry for the lenghty post and any input would be so much appreciated.

bump

In this case i would 100% prioritise yourself - noone in the company is thinking of you! Go to the docs start the pills, maybe try sleeping pills short term to get your sleeping pattern back on track, and get signed off.
You are not a quitter - you have tried for 12 months to sort this out but with no support it is impossible.
Get your health back then look for another job.
Bear in mind that resigning without finding a new job could affect your right to JSA.
Carrying on will not make things better but could seriously damage your own health.
With regards to a new job they will probably only report your number of sick days and you can cover that off with a new employer by explaining that it is now under control.
Best of luck

given the manager knowing the reason and not accepting it (they are trying to resolve something which is not the cause if the problems i am facing), am i facing the risk of being dismissed while being off?

A likely scenario is that your employer could wait for you to return from your two weeks' stress leave and tell you that things are not working out and will discuss (or enforce) a termination date with you.

With this is mind, if you are being signed off for two weeks, use the time to start applying for a new job, so that if the worst happens at least you're already ahead of the game.

They will have to honour your notice period, so if you go back and they immediately say they're terminating you, it means you have 6 weeks for the job search ( ie 2 weeks plus another 4 if on 4 week notice period - or more, if your notice period is more).

If your income is needed to service your mortgage, I don't think you have the luxury of getting your health better before seeking new work, you'll have to do it concurrently. Likelihood is, in taking time during your stress leave to find something new, it will already make you feel better and restore your confidence, as you'll be rid of the current negative situation.

If you've already passed your probationary period then they can't just terminate you 'because things aren't working out'.

They either have to put you on an improvement plan, make your role redundant or reach a compromise agreement to manage you out. If they do the latter then you'd really want three months salary.

Refused day off?! Quitter?! Hmm....

You need to start recording absolutely everything that is happening from now on. Do everything on email and print off anything that you deem to be unfair/bullying.

I actually think you would be better off finding another job and getting out.

If you've already passed your probationary period then they can't just terminate you 'because things aren't working out'.

With less than 2 years service they can terminate employment for any non-discriminatory reason. Probation is a total red herring.

They either have to put you on an improvement plan, make your role redundant or reach a compromise agreement to manage you out. If they do the latter then you'd really want three months salary.

This is all complete bollocks. They don’t have to do any of that.

Agree within two years you could just be dismissed. You could put in a grievance but that may just add to your stress and not help longterm. Resigning will affect a claim for JSA.

”If you've already passed your probationary period then they can't just terminate you 'because things aren't working out'.

They either have to put you on an improvement plan, make your role redundant or reach a compromise agreement to manage you out.”

If you are a ‘stressed out PA’ as implied by your username, maybe steer clear of giving employment law advice on the internet?

Op, I was trying to help. I didn't claim to be an employment law advisor.

Do what is right for you and do not expect management or HR to help/protect you. It's a tough lesson but generally employers put the needs of the business above the health of their staff.

People are very good at telling you where you are going wrong but not necessarily good at offering useful advice as this thread shows!

People are very good at telling you where you are going wrong but not necessarily good at offering useful advice as this thread shows!

Oh, the irony.

People are very good at telling you where you are going wrong but not necessarily good at offering useful advice as this thread shows!

That is pretty rich considering you just gave completely nonsense advice.

”Op, I was trying to help. I didn't claim to be an employment law advisor.”

The trouble is if you post advice about what the law says an employer can or can’t do, there is a risk someone reading might think you do in fact know what the law says (because otherwise why would you be advising on it?!) and take you at your word.

I know you were trying to help it’s not helping to post legal advice if you don’t have the knowledge to go with it.

OP - this sounds hideous. No reasonable person could tolerate such a toxic workplace.

Prioritise yourself straight away. Probation is irrelevant - passing it may or may not give you extra company rights, but it doesn’t give you extra legal rights. Anyone can be let go for almost any non-discriminatory reason in the first 2 years so look after yourself now ❤️