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Original poster

Our business investor's wife continually interfering with our business

32 replies

Disgruntled · 09/05/2007 16:12

Last year DH accepted an offer to take up residence in a high profile position. He is very good at his job, and is becoming quite well-known in his field.
The business we are involved in uses his name and anything the company does is done in his name and he is fully accountable. However, he has nothing at all to do with the finances of the business and seems to be expected to relinquish all final say in matters relating to the business to the man who bankrolls it. This would not be so much of a problem, except for the fact that this man's wife has moved in on the running of everything. She docks our staff if they are off sick, she insists on disciplinary measures for people whom she thinks have stepped out of line at work, she over rules DH on professional matters, and now she is in my office on an almost daily basis, giving me orders and making me sign my name to correspondence I would not have devised myself. She combs through invoices, questioning each and every one of them, and refusing to pay them until the bailiffs are practically knocking. Now she has given me a full set of instructions as to how I should be running the office and watching everything I am doing, as though we can't be trusted on our own. I now hate going into work, and need to leave for the sake of my sanity. However I am worried about how her (often questionable) decisions will reflect on DH if any official complaints are ever made as his is the name on the licence, so to speak. As if this wasn't all bad enough, we are forced to run the business on a skeleton staff, which leads to me and DH especially having to put in a massive amount of hours, wearing many hats and getting it in the neck if anything ever gets missed or forgotten. We are both exhausted but still skint because we don't get any expenses, despite DH having to travel and spend days away at least 5 times a week. I feel we are putting it all in and getting nothing back, but DH's hands are tied because if he leaves, he loses what is essentially his business and we don't have the funds to go it alone. Sorry it's so long, but any advice would be very much appreciated.

OP posts:
badelaide · 09/05/2007 16:23

Don't quite understand whether it is actually his business or a partnership or what? Does he have a contract? Why does he have no say in the finances?

ggglimpopo · 09/05/2007 16:26

I think it sounds as though you are being exploited - I would get professional advice from business guru type or lawyer.....

It sounds as though it could all end it tears.

thedogsbollox · 09/05/2007 16:26

Tell her to piss off and look for someone else to tie up with. If DH is bringing in loads of dosh he'll be able to link up with someone else!

lulumama · 09/05/2007 16:27

is she a director? an employee ? or a just being interfering? i don;t understand how if the business is in his name, he has no say in the finances....if you are not even earning a decent living, why not cut your losses and leave?

badelaide · 09/05/2007 16:28

I agree it doesn't look good

3sEnough · 09/05/2007 16:29

Hmm - know somebody who was in much the same position - the 'runner' of the business used my dh friend's name to get better known and then changed the business name and removed friend and wife (although offered them a job in new company!!).....I would investigate if the same could happen here.

Original poster
Disgruntled · 09/05/2007 16:32

The problem is that DH has earned his reputation assisting some top-flight people. He has now decided to go it alone, but as he didn't have the (substantial) finances required to set up, he has started with this man. The set up is that DH is the face, name and expertise of the business. This other man holds the purse strings, effectively employing us (we are both PAYE to him). His wife actually owns another business which shares our business address, but dedicates a large percentage of her time to telling us how to do things. Sorry it's all a bit vague, but I'm under a pseudonym as some MNers know who DH and I are, and as I said, he is quite high-profile professionally, so I don't want to be too specific on his business (although I would probably make more sense if I could!)

OP posts:
badelaide · 09/05/2007 16:32

Aaah, so maybe they are just using your dh's name Disgruntled? That's not good.

badelaide · 09/05/2007 16:32

sorry, x-post

Saturn74 · 09/05/2007 16:33

sounds very odd.
does she have an official post in the company, or is the invested money hers?
did your or your DH have a meeting with the man who bankrolls the business prior to accepting his financial support?
is there a formal contract?

Saturn74 · 09/05/2007 16:34

x post

Stigaloid · 09/05/2007 16:34

can you find another backer?

I'd speak to the boss and explain how his wife's interfering is affecting the business. It's essentially an investment for him and if you make it clear that her meddling is affecting his investment in a negative fashion, he may well ask her to butt out.

good luck

badelaide · 09/05/2007 16:35

Sounds as though it would be a far better investment for you two to borrow the money and go it alone

Original poster
Disgruntled · 09/05/2007 16:36

Thedogs, that is what I'm hoping will happen. DH has started this solo venture amazingly well, and I'm hoping gains enough recognition to be able to move somewhere better before too much longer. It's hard waiting, though! Especially as the people he worked with last year were the most awful bunch we have ever encountered and now it just feels like we are always going to be struggling to keep afloat

OP posts:
badelaide · 09/05/2007 16:37

Bit hard without knowing the nature of the business, I see set-up costs would be sustantial, but your dh is obviously highly marketable (iyswim)

thedogsbollox · 09/05/2007 16:37

FInd another backer - if DH's skills make money then someone else will profit from that.

In fact, if DH's skills are that marketable then he would probably be able to borrow from a bank to set up himself. Although, it is very difficult to judge given the sparse facts

NoodleStroodle · 09/05/2007 16:38

Or can you find a truly silent partner? There are lots of very rich investors out there looking for something/someone to invest in.

Original poster
Disgruntled · 09/05/2007 16:40

Stigaloid, the main problem is that the man always always defers to his wife's decisions - he thinks she knows far more about our business than she actually does, as her field is vaguely connected. Unfortunately, she is very used to having her own way and is especially good at giving orders. As far as he is concerned, she is always right. I have seen staff dismissed because she heard they were saying things about her. It's like that - there's alot of foot-stamping goes on.

OP posts:
lulumama · 09/05/2007 16:41

then i;d leave if a supposedly savvy business man is deferring to his wife..and you don't like the way she does things, she is not going to change is she?

Stigaloid · 09/05/2007 16:42

Hmmmm - well depends if he values his wife more than his investment. Best thing seems to get another backer or find other source of financing. Does your DH work in a field where he can speak with other investors or have people recommend him? Either way, it sounds intolerable and something should be done! Good luck

NoodleStroodle · 09/05/2007 16:43

I used to know a similiar set up where the wife (who did not work) used to get jealous of her husband's assistants...it was bizarre as my mother, as lovely as she is, isn't threatening like that.

anyway my advice would be to get out before it gets worse - if you are trading on your DH name and someone is dragging you down it is doing you no favours

Original poster
Disgruntled · 09/05/2007 16:46

There is no question as to what is more important. The last man he backed departed last year after 'The Wife' declared that he was no good, and if he wasn't removed, she would leave. One of those "It's him or me" ultimatums. I wouldn't mind, but she is highly unprofessional, and offers nothing in the way of constructive assistance to the business. It's all about settling scores and winning arguments and it's very wearing.

OP posts:
NoodleStroodle · 09/05/2007 16:47

Get out as soon as possible.
Start looking around for another backer.

Original poster
Disgruntled · 09/05/2007 16:53

Thanks all of you for the advice. I think I needed to hear it from others. The main problem will be convincing DH....
He knows it too, but I think he's biding his time. He wants other backers to come to him rather than actively look, because word always gets back, and that would be disastrous in his case - our industry is very cliquey and alot of good work can be spoiled by one bad association. Hopefully, he will get approached by someone else before the end of the year and we can finally reap the rewards we deserve. Between us we have almost 40 years of seriously good industry experience and do deserve much better. We are loyal, work hard and are good at what we do. We should be treated better than this.

OP posts:
Judy1234 · 09/05/2007 16:54

SO he's just an employee and holds none of the shares in a company? Is he on the board of directors?
If not why didn't he at least get some equity and board representation at the time?

Practically they need him, don't they because of the good will and his reputation so he may need to have a quiet word with the shareholder about the wife not coming in and interfering. It is possible he and his wife own the shares and she may be a director so she might entitled to be in there.