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Original poster

How much house keeping should my child give each week?

47 replies

Pinsky · 27/03/2018 15:13

My 21 yr old has just got her first job. She is on minimum wage. What does everyone else think is a fair amount for her to give each month?

OP posts:

chocatoo · 01/04/2018 12:55

I don't really think you are doing your child any favours if you take nothing from them as you are not helping them to prepare for real life. I think a token amount is appropriate and would suggest £35 a week (£5 a day). That would go a small way towards bills.

More importantly, I would expect them to cook occasionally and help with chores.

notapizzaeater · 01/04/2018 13:01

I paid. A third when I started working saved a third and spent a third.

HoppingPavlova · 01/04/2018 13:20

If minimum wage I would take 20%. Really that’s just to enforce the concept of saving. I would put it aside in an account and hand it back one day when they can use it for something purposeful.

HoppingPavlova · 01/04/2018 13:22

Should have added my main expectation would be pulling their weight around the house, that’s non-negotiable.

wombatron · 01/04/2018 13:29

I paid £100 a month 6years ago. It went to £150 when I had a boyfriend that stayed 3 nights a week (my choice to up it). That just covered food and bills. I bought my own clothes and personal items (being a grown up and all that). I was expected to share the cleaning between a family of 4 and expected to share cooking. Food was bought as a family but we would often go and buy extra individually when we were cooking something nice. I did also have sky in my room and £10 a month was to cover that.

I was working in London on 22k a year and spending 5k of that on a season ticket for the train. This amount worked well as it meant I had to budget my money but still had enough to do all the things people my age wanted to do.

I don't understand how some people think it's unreasonable to charge family rent. If an adult sibling moved in your expect payment, adult children should be the same IMO.

immortalmarble · 01/04/2018 13:30

I wouldn’t take anything.

LoveManyTrustfew · 01/04/2018 13:32

My sister and I both paid 30%.

I found out last week 30 years after the fact that my brother paid 20%

And he wonders why my sister and I called him goldenballs growing up.

LoveManyTrustfew · 01/04/2018 13:32

That there is your Irish Mammy for you.

donajimena · 01/04/2018 13:32

25% I do love these threads! I hope to be earning well by the time my eldest is working. Losing the tax credits and child benefit will mean that I have no choice but to charge if my children want to stay at home.
I love the way some posters seem horrified that charging ADULTS to live at home is tantamount to some kind of abuse.
Or just present them with a lovely lump sum by squirrelling it away...

Floralnomad · 01/04/2018 13:34

We have never taken anything off ours , my parents never took anything off me , dh paid his parents board . It does not prepare them for living alone as preparing them for living alone and knowing how to budget should have been taught years before they get to that age . If you need the money then obviously they have to contribute , if you don’t then it’s entirely up to you . Making them pay and saving it for them also teaches them nothing , makes more sense to have them save it themselves .

immortalmarble · 01/04/2018 13:35

Might have been different circumstances.

In any case, it isn’t something I would do, although I can understand taking rent from them and saving it up. The problem is that really as adults the onus for saving needs to come from them.

My DD21 buys all her own makeup, shampoo and so on (she still swipes mine!) to be honest, I’m just glad she gets to enjoy being young.

immortalmarble · 01/04/2018 13:36

X posts sorry, that was to Love

I think it’s different if you really need the money yourself dona

But I don’t understand charging children just to make a point.

rogueantimatter · 01/04/2018 13:37

It completely depends on her and your circumstances. In that situation, if I could afford to I'd let her keep the lot. Otherwise she should pay a contribution equivalent to the cost of her food and extra electricity, eg shower, hairdryer, washing machine.

Sunshinebeach · 01/04/2018 13:42

It all depends on family finances. We used to help my mum once we got jobs and we were adults living in the house. I never saw it as rent but a contribution to bills and food; my mum wasn't rich so she needed the money; it wasn't for her to spend on her.

amysaurus87 · 01/04/2018 13:42

I got my first job at 14 and didn't pay anything to my parents, however when I came back from university and started working I paid about 25% of my monthly salary to my mum for housekeeping.

I think it's a good idea to do this, gives children an idea of what life is like in the real world!

Slightlyperturbedowlagain · 01/04/2018 13:52

Unless you need the money I personally would ask her for 1/3 and then put it in a savings account for her to use as a deposit on a house/rental
This is what DH and I have agreed we would do for DSD and our joint DCs if the question ever arose, provided we could afford it. In principle it’s good to get them used to the idea of paying their way but also want to give them a leg-up. We would not tell them the money was there though until they were planning to move out.

Pinkprincess1978 · 08/04/2018 18:24

20 years ago both my husband and I paid our parents £150 a month. They both dropped to £120 a month as we spent more time together so bought more of our own food. This was probably 15/20% of our take home pay.

I don't see anything wrong in getting your children to pay their own way nor using that money if your own finances depend on it.

I do like the idea of secretly saving the money my children give us to be able to give back to them when they need it.

Userplusnumbers · 08/04/2018 18:27

Depends how long you want her to stay, and if you actually need a contribution.
Personally I'd be encouraging her to save for a deposit and first months rent on her own place/flatshare with a mate

Crunched · 08/04/2018 18:38

I agree with a third.
My (widowed) DM charged me this and,when I left home for good, as she hadn’t actually needed every penny, returned half of it to me to help towards a deposit on my own home. This was a fantastic surprise.
I hope I can do the same for my DC if we are ever encountering those circumstances.
IMO I believe charging no rent can be a form of control to keep your DC dependant on you.

Pootle40 · 08/04/2018 18:42

Always grew up expecting to pay 'digs'. Was about 25% of my take home pay. I know lots of younger adults in their early 20s who seem to know nothing about money and have just been kept by their parents. That's a recipe for disaster.

DramaAlpaca · 08/04/2018 18:46

I take roughly 20% from DS1 & DS2 who are both working full time & living at home. I don't particularly need it, but they are adults in their 20s & I feel they should be paying a contribution towards household expenses. And they eat a lot! They don't mind because it's a lot less than they'd spend on private rent.

wantmorenow · 11/04/2018 18:37

Mine 22 year old contributes £200 pcm. I sat her down and we went through my income and outgoings, then went through hers.

She agreed that her having a disposable income of about £1000 a month and mine and the rest of the family being only £500 wasn't really very fair. (she has 2 younger siblings). She offered £200, I accepted as I think that's fair. She buys her own food, clothes toiletries etc. She has had pay rises since but I haven't put it up as she's saving for her future.

We aren't precious about 'her' and 'our' food, eat together when it suits and share staples.

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