Getting a job after 19 years as a sahm

[4andout]

Gave up work when ds1 was 1. Have 4 dc ranging from 19-11. Dh is self employed. He's a musician so teaches and plays in concerts/shows. He says he feels under a lot of pressure as he's the sole money provider. He also says he's happy with how life is - we live comfortably. He works and I do household and dc. I think he wants me to get a job, but won't say it! I do think it would be a major shift as he currently does zero household chores.

I used to work in libraries. I applied for a couple of library assistant jobs last year, but got straight rejections. I was thinking of nursery work although I have no childcare qualifications. I know the pay isn't great, but with so long out of work I'm going to be bottom of the scale anywhere. There are a couple of nurseries locally needing staff...quite a few members of staff needed actually! Some require qualifications and some (nursery assistant) don't mention them. Would I stand any chance at 45?! Most of the photos of staff seem to be women in their early 20s.

I'm going to volunteer at a creche so I can put that on my cv.

Just wanted to wish you luck...

You have been out of the job market a long time, but am sure you have plenty of skills to offer an employer. Volunteer work is a good place to start. I am in a similar boat (46) and have been out of the work place for 15 months (last role ceased due to lack of funds). My employment history has become quite sporadic, so I started volunteering for CAB a year ago, to gain a current reference and work experience. Not sure if this is something which interests you?

Nursery staff do tend to be younger, but if you don't apply, you will never know!

I had a 20 year gap as a SAHM and started volunteering at the CAB - I did about a year as a volunteer and then became a paid debt worker. I then moved onto to full time work at a not for profit organisation where I’ve been for 2 and a half years. I have had to work my way up from an entry level role but I earn a reasonable amount now and feel grateful that I was given the chance to get back into work.

I think you should talk to your DH. If you start paid work, he and the children will need to do more at home - will they?

Thanks for the replies. We've had a long chat and dh says he's completely happy as things are. My conviction that he wanted me to get a job, was due to him telling me that a friend had told him that I should get a job. Dh told me it's not any of friend's business, but if I want to try and get a job, then he'd support me. I have been thinking that in just over 6 years time, when perhaps the last dc has left, I'll be 52 and even less likely to be able to find anything!

I'm going to look into volunteering somewhere. I had a look at the CAB website and felt a little intimidated. I don't know anything about debt & legal advice.

The training at the CAB is fab so you are really well supported when you start. I still remember the terror of my first solo appointment but it was a breeze after awhile.

I have sent you a PM x

I know someone who started off volunteering at CAB after 15 years out, the she got a paid PT job there and then they asked her to apply for the manager role. I think maturity and life experience would be a real plus in that role.

I’m looking after 19 years out OP. Ooh it’s hard. About a year ago I sent applications out, not a word back. So since last summer I’ve been volunteering in an admin role. Around Christmas I started applying again, I’ve had two unsuccessful interviews, although I feel they went well, just more experienced people got the job.

But I’ve got an interview next week I am so excited about. Apparently I’ve done amazingly well to get shortlisted. My DH sounds like yours, happy if I don’t work, happy for me if I do. Really good to have that support.

If I could get my time back again I’d definitely have gone back to work sooner. Am into my 50’s now. I wish I had thought about it at your age, but the timing wasn’t right then.

So glad to read this post, thought I was the only one. Trained as a tefl teacher a few years ago. Did some volunteering and some private tuition but it's dried up atm.

Don't know whether to start it up again or do something else?

Am 50 now.

Bit like all my life keep thinking of things I'd like to do and then worry I'd be useless!

I have gone back to childcare after a 11 year break. I am slowly getting back into it. I am 51 years old. The majority of the staff are young, but there are some older staff too. The pay is low though. The children and the lovely staff make up for it. Hope you get the job, that you want.

I think the hardest part about going back to work (apart from actually getting a job of course!) was my complete lack of confidence in myself. It was so daunting being in meetings and being asked my opinion on things. Now you can’t shut me up but it taken time to get comfortable again.

Definitely do some volunteer work. If you volunteer a few hours a week for two different organisations (you can do this while the children are at school), you'll have two references for job applications and two different roles to talk about during interviews. Maybe start with one volunteer job and add another when you feel like it. From there, you'll be in a much better position to gain paid part time employment.