To work full time... or not?

[buttonmoonb4tea]

Ok so my quandary is. Currently work 0.5 FTE and have done for the last 10 years. I have 2 children and I’m a LP.

There’s additional hours available in my role making it full time hours.

I really want to do it for the reduction in financial in workload pressure --currently cramming 5 days work into 3.

But I’m scared. Scared that I’ll end up being off if/when DC are Ill. Scared that I’ll be knackered and scared I’ll regret it as my youngest is a toddler.

But I’m now starting to realise my pension will amount to nothing if I carry on working part time for a significant amount of time. And I will benefit significantly from the additional pay.

My role is quite specialised, I like my job and full time posts don’t come up very often.

What do I do?

Do you have to apply or is it yours if you want it?

I’m not sure tbh, I recently moved into this role after being the only person who applied for it. The person in the other half of the post left.

I think StealthPolarBear made a good point. If you have to apply for this job, I would just do it. It is always a good experience to go to an interview and have a feel of your sector today, and what are the conditions they offer, etc.
Instead, if you have already been offered this position, then I am afraid I can only give you my personal view on leaving a good job to raise children. I am very happy I did myself, and for as long as I did, and I would not change a thing about it. However, I admit that later it is harder to go back into the market, or to get the same great opportunities as years go by. But one can never really tell what will turn out to be best.
In fact, one also can learn new things whilst being a mum, and develop new skills through a part time job.
If you have this urge in your mind to get back to your old job at this very point in your life, then you must consider carefully all the pros and cons, and ultimately go with no fear for what feels right.
If you decide going for this job, then put your fears and "what if"s at rest, and go for it with all your energy, as it will be alright. Most of all, there is always the option to go back on our choices, but once we let one chance go, we may just regret it, or forever wonder what would have become of it.
My opinion, if it helps any.
Best of luck!

Thank you for the replies. I applied for the job, job share left as I was starting meaning their post is now available. I’m not sure what the situation is regarding the recruitment but have expressed an interest anyway. Awaiting further discussions between management.

I’m considering the pros and cons.

Pros - more money, less worry about finances, may be able to save a little for a rainy day fund currently trying but it’s like pissing in the wind, could plan a holiday for next year hopefully, could develop the role to suit my particular interests which is a really exciting thought, flexible so can WFH one day a week.

Cons - less time with DC, less time to do housework/admin, being tired, possibly less patience with DC

Mumonnet thank you for your honest insight. My worry is as you say, not being able to get this opportunity again but like you say I could also look at other interests whilst working part time.

I had considered starting an MA when my youngest is at school but working FT kind of puts that on the back burner for a few years.

Could you try it and if it didn't work drop your hours and go pt again? Or is there an option to maybe work 4 days instead of 3 and they can recruit someone else which would mean they have someone who can cover your hols and vise versa?

fivenights Im not sure if they’d recruit for just one day a week if I wanted to do 4 days.

Part of me thinks I’ll be squeezing 5 days into 4 days if I do it like that and not be getting paid for it.

That’s why I FT may be the best option with one day working from home.

It’s a specialist role and nobody wanted to do it when I applied hence me being offered the role.

Yeh you don't want to be doing 5 days work but only getting paid for 4! Good luck with whatever you decide OP.

Thank you fivenights

Hmmmm this is me. Lone parent, 2 young DC (one a toddler). I've just gone back 5 days. I'm exhausted. So are the kids from their day long daycare. My advice would be to stick to 3 or 4 days. Or can you arrange to do a few days at home so you can at least put some laundry on etc while you work?

Is the other parent of your DCs supportive and sharing custody, or do you have family around who can help in a pinch? Would the hours (and commute) be reasonable and regular, and is your employer flexible enough to allow for occasional emergencies? If yes to the above I'd say yes.

However if not, it is worth really thinking about it - even thinking I was doing 5 days work in 3, the physical change was a shock to me when I stepped up, and my DCs have found it hard too. That said, the money help is excellent and for us in the short term outweighs the challenges, it may well be the same for you.

Mamaduckling thanks for your perspective, my worry is us all being tired. Have you got used to the increase in hours yet?

What changes have you made to help deal with the additional workload? I’d be interested to know.

But I really could do with the extra money and I’m aware that my eldest will be going to secondary school soon and before I know it she’ll be leaving to go to university.

I don’t want to be in a position of financial dependence on benefits and then have my income significantly lowered at a later date when I had the opportunity now to earn more and get used to working full time IYSWIM.

I just don’t want to be upshot creek without a paddle if that makes sense.

Holycrap other parent is not very supportive, but I do have supportive family.

The job can be done flexibly as I do that now working 3 days, So I could realistically work 1/2 days from home.

My manager is fairly flexible if/when emergencies arise.

It’s a good job, with good career prospects and the additional money would be so helpful.

I’m doing the role at the moment in 3 days, there is funding for the other 2 days. I may aswell do it and get paid for it.

Go for it! You can always change things if you find it doesn't work. I'd worry the opportunity may not come up again.

Go for it! You can always change things if you find it doesn't work. I'd worry the opportunity may not come up again.

This is exactly my point. Opportunities like this don’t come up often.

Thank you

If you like the work and you've got a flexible and supportive manager - go for it. You could always request flexible working arrangements to help with getting your work life balance sorted if it proves too much.

If they are flexible, and understanding as emergencies crop up, then the best thing to do is give it a go.

Things I've put in place....

Mum comes most morning to take kids to nursery so that I can get an early train in. This allows me to do the pick up and spend some decent time with the kids every evening - supper, stories, bath bed etc.

I have an informal helper that comes to stick on a load of laundry and clear up the mornings carnage, load dishwasher etc. I also have a cleaner once a week who changes beds and does ironing etc. I couldn't cope if I was coming home to a messy house each night, so this for me has been a necessity.

Routines are tight, and week nights quite boring with little spontaneity - I'm too tired to socialize so I try to make weekend plans once every fortnight to make sure I still see my friends. Have firm plans for a busy weekend and let the housework go - can be dealt with in the week. I try to get to bed early, eat sensibly, there's no time to exercise....

But, if I'm honest, I'm still exhausted. It's going to be a long year for me (it's a 12 month contract), but it was my way back into the working world after 2yrs off with my babies. It's worth it financially and in the long term. There are many many upshots of having parents that work..... so I'm focusing on those rather than the tremendous guilt I've got these days.

I think the least you can do is to try it. Sounds like your eldest will be pretty independent before too long!

Mamaduckling thanks for this. I think a cleaner would be an absolute necessity so I’m going to look into this.