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Original poster

My boss keeps commenting on my weight

24 replies

Doggdays92 · 07/03/2018 14:17

Hello, this is my first post so hopefully it will be in the right place. I work in my boss’s family business. I get on really well with the family but my boss keeps commenting on my weight, saying that I need to lose weight and generally making comments about my appearance.
She has been doing it for quite a while but it is starting to upset me. I don’t really know what to do but would be really greatful if anyone had any advice. Thank you.

OP posts:
retirednow · 07/03/2018 14:28

Why does she think you should lose weight, do you want to lose weight.

Original poster
Doggdays92 · 07/03/2018 14:32

She’s very thin herself and both of her daughters (who are around the same age as me) are also and I think feels that it’s better to be thin. I’m 9 stone and 5ft 8 so I’m not really overweight.

OP posts:
OhHolyJesus · 07/03/2018 14:33

Unless your job is as a model then I don't think it's anyone else's business.
Do you need to look a certain way for your role? If you do your job well I would find a way to gently tell them to back off. Can you think up done smart one liners to make it clear you don't encourage these comments?

retirednow · 07/03/2018 14:37

9 stone and 5 8, she seriously thinks you are overweight. Does it affect your job in any way, is it any of her business.

Jon66 · 07/03/2018 14:39

Personal comments are entirely inappropriate in the workplace. Just say that next time she says something.

Original poster
Doggdays92 · 07/03/2018 14:39

No it doesn’t affect my job I just work in their office. I’ve tried to say that i’m not overweight and that it does upset me but I think she thinks I’m too sensitive.

OP posts:
retirednow · 07/03/2018 14:42

Tell her you are not overweight and please stop mentioning it

Original poster
Doggdays92 · 07/03/2018 14:44

I will try and just outright say to stop. Thank you for responding

OP posts:
Tallia · 07/03/2018 14:48

Was 9stone and 5ft 8 a typo? Because if not, “not really overweight” is a bit of an understatement! You’re pretty much right at the bottom of the healthy weight range for your height, lose just 5lbs and you’re officially underweight by bmi.
Obviously build/ body fat affects how a person looks at a particular weight, I’m the same height as you and if I drop below about 9 and a half stone, people start telling me I look too thin.
I’m sorry I don’t have any useful advice re. managing her, but certainly do not let her comments affect your self-esteem. My guess is either she’s jealous of you, or she has an eating disorder and totally screwed up idea of body shape/ is uncomfortable being around people who eat.

retirednow · 07/03/2018 14:53

You are not overweight by any means, you say she is skiing so maybe is underweight, tell her she should put a bit of weight on and see how she feelsSmile

retirednow · 07/03/2018 14:54

She might like skiing, but might also be skinnySad

Original poster
Doggdays92 · 07/03/2018 14:54

No that wasn’t a typo. I’ve struggled with low weight/not eating in the past so it does get me down though. I think I may just have to toughen up though!

OP posts:
retirednow · 07/03/2018 15:00

You can stand up to her, you feel healthy now, don't let her ruin your self esteem, Flowers

daisychain01 · 07/03/2018 15:05

Is she serious? On what planet is 5ft 8 ins and 9 stone overweight.

It's none of her business, and presumably you know you aren't overweight so whatever she says is losing herself credibility, because it's plain dumb.

bluebells1 · 07/03/2018 15:10

Yeah.... but no... Don't believe this. Next!

Original poster
Doggdays92 · 07/03/2018 15:13

It is true

OP posts:
Original poster
Doggdays92 · 07/03/2018 15:15

Sorry posted that last message too quickly, I weighed slightly more when I first started working there and quite often wore baggy clothes but even then I still wasn’t overweight

OP posts:
restingbemusedface · 07/03/2018 15:15

Eh?? 5.8 and 9stone?! That’s teeny

BlackAmericanoNoSugar · 07/03/2018 15:18

"Actually, my weight is on the low side of perfect." "You're a lot thinner than me, aren't you?"

Original poster
Doggdays92 · 07/03/2018 15:21

Thank you for that last one, that sounds a good line, I may have to use it!

OP posts:
GeorgeTheHippo · 07/03/2018 15:38

I'm that height and weight. I'm skinny.

picklemepopcorn · 07/03/2018 15:52

That's awful, please don't let this woman affect your mental health.

Try a few lines like Black's and

'oh I do like to be a healthy weight. Being too thin is so ageing isn't it.'
'I have to work so hard to keep weight on. It's a curse, but at least I can eat what I like.'

If she persists, tell her your mental health is a protected characteristic and she needs to be careful she doesn't make you ill with her comments. Seriously.

daisychain01 · 07/03/2018 19:27

I wouldn't make any wise crack comments, it's work remember, and just because she is being unprofessional doesn't mean to say you need to follow suit.

As with all these situations ask yourself whether it's a battle worth fighting, and how many times she's likely to comment again before getting bored, if you just stare blankly at her and maybe a Mona Lisa semi-smile.

9 stone is so obviously not overweight, simple as.

Orangebutterfly · 07/03/2018 19:34

Overweight/obese/underweight it’s none her place to comment. If it’s not effecting your work related duties tell her to mind her own business. I agree it’s totally inappropriate to comment. She clearly has an issue.

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