Urgent advice - I want to leave my job

[soulfulsarah]

Hi all, I’m new here so please be kind. I’m feeling a little soul destroyed and my anxiety has gone through the roof.

I started a new job in January. It’s a small family run business (not my family). However, I’ve quickly learnt how vile my boss is. Constantly shouting at the other employees and generally being quite aggressive in his tone. It hasn’t taken him long to now turn on me getting quite snappy and losing his patience with me. I want to hand in my notice of resignation tomorrow but this weekend I read my contract again (his shoddy home made contract because I kept on at him to give me one when I started the job). He’s stayed in the contract “employee is obliged to give 12 weeks notice of resignation” TWELEVE WEEKS!!! For an admin role! I can’t stay for 12 weeks I won’t be able to hack it.

What are my options? I’m so scared to approach him and discuss leaving because he tends to shout at everyone and be really intimidating. He even talks to his own wife and parents pretty horribly so I may be working myself up here but it scares me. There is no employee handbook or anything, it’s a bit of a cowboy business. Like I said he didn’t even have a contract for me I had to badger him for one so he pulled one off the internet a month later and filled in the blanks. The contract has various things in there like use of bad language is against the rules (yet he’s constantly effing and blinding). It also states that I must have an occupational health assessment which I’ve never even been offered or told about.

How do I get out? ACAS sand my local citizens advice haven’t been much help and I really don’t know what to do it’s making me ill.

Thanks Hun advance x

Sarah

Honestly, there’s no contract police... if it’s that awful go in and hand your notice in and say that you won’t be able to stay that long. They say fine, great! They say no, they can’t chain you to your desk. I doubt you’d even use them as a reference anyway so no harm there either. I don’t blame you, sounds like a toxic workplace!

Resign tomorrow regardless. If he makes you work your notice, do it the knowledge that you can count down the days until you leave. Chances are he’ll want shot of you and let you leave sooner than that - especially if you help him find an replacement. And be professional and polite with your resignation, hard as that may be.

If you are determined to resign I would consider your options, such as contacting agencies to see what temping opportunities there are. Register with them and get them to find you a new assignment before you hand in your resignation.

Have you completed any probationary period? If not, then I'd give him a week's notice. He sounds awful.

If you are suffering with anxiety and the job is making it worse, is there any chance your doctor would sign you off sick?

There was no probation period, it was a “we need someone quick here’s the job” type of thing. There wasn’t even much of an interview. He just told me what they did, it sounded really interesting and up my street hence accepting the job. I had to badger him for a contract because I didn’t know what my sick pay or annual leave was or anything. The contract is so badly written it’s beyond a joke but it’s a contract nevertheless so I’m pretty worried about the whole resignation thing.

@dottydally - I have thought about contacting my doctor because I’m due to start my Cognitive Behavioral Therpay soon for my anxiety but this has really had me in tears all weekend. Especially when the bully snapped at me last week over 2 days. The first time he got nasty with me. I’ve heard him get nasty to others before but this time it was to me and I hate conflict so I’m quite worried about his reaction towards me.

@Amirite sorry I don’t know how to reply on this thing yet. I spoke to ACAS a who said I’d have to speak directly to him first. He’s the director of the company and my boss so I can’t go to anyone else but him. Acas said the only risk of me leaving immediately would be him taking me to a small claims court for losses of the 12 weeks. Which has worried me even more, hence me now having to grow the lady balls in order to face him and bring up the topic of my resignation but I want him to reduce it or ideally just let me go. 😞 I’ve been so stressed about this I can’t cope x

Honestly, there’s no contract police

No but there is breach of contract. Although I can't see that he would likely do anything about it as it sounds like he's in the wrong too and many small claims are more hassle than they're worth. Agree with PP, brave meeting with him, hand it in and if he makes you work it then count down the days until you're out of there!

Did you have a probationary period? Normally there is a period of 3-6 months where either party can give a much shorter notice to each other to terminate employment. After that and it goes to the contractual terms of standard notice.

I wouldn’t risk just doing a runner. Hand your notice in tomorrow and see where the land lies by the end of this week. I know he can’t give you a ‘bad’ reference, but if you end on negative terms he will make it difficult for you to get one. You never know he may want to have you gone quicker but let him do the leading on this. Don’t push him and piss him off (even if he is an absolute arse)

Then if it does look like he’ll make you work your notice then go down the signed off route. Good luck!

Resign. Ask if you can mutually agree a shorter notice period as the job is impacting your health. If your boss is sensible - he'll agree. If not - you have choices - 1. work all the notice. 2. take some / all of the time as sick leave. 3. Leave before the end of your notice. Worst he could do is sue you for breach of contract.. he'd have to demonstrate his losses,... which would be difficult given it's an admin position. Also - your request to leave earlier due to the impact of the role on your health wouldn't make him look very good and if he has lawyers, they'd tell him to leave well alone.

@Dontknowwhattodoknowok no probation period was ever discussed. The contract is a cowboy job with so many errors and some very unreasonable mentions in there. The notice period of 12 weeks takes me up till the end of May and I honestly can’t see myself being there till that long. I can’t come home crying every day and his rudeness. He’s such an angry aggressive person and it just scares me what he’s going to say and how he’s going to react.

@saffinmum I’m just trying to figure out how I’d write my resignation with the reduced notice period in it so I’ve got it in writing from the off. Or would I go and talk to him first to discuss lowering my notice period and then write it out/email it across to him with dates etc.

Acas said the only risk of me leaving immediately would be him taking me to a small claims court for losses of the 12 weeks.

How long have you worked at the company? In months and weeks?

If you've only been there a matter of a couple of months, they won't have a claim for "losses", what losses? It would be a ridiculous and time wasting exercise for them, so I wouldnt even worry about it.

As I said upthread, if it's that bad, just resign and give them a week, or two at most. That's perfectly reasonable. If it comes to it walk out, your health is more important. They could easily get someone from an agency, and you'll get some sort of temp work as well.

I'm not a solicitor but I think that your biggest risk by not working the full notice period is that it constitutes a breach of contract, which your employer could take to the small claims court. However, it's very very unlikely it would get to that point.

Give your notice as soon as you're ready and tell them what will be your last day of work. If it's sooner than 12 weeks, and they ask you to do the full 12 weeks highlight the lack of occupational health referral and the other parts of the contract that are being breached. Basically it'll be a 'I'm not sticking to the contract because you aren't' conversation. Be firm and don't be surprised if he tells you to leave immediately - people like that won't want you around after you question their behaviour. Pragmatically it's unlikely he'll want to pursue anything- he'll just want to find someone else to shout at.

My other main thought is that the longer you stay the more likely you'll have to put them down as a reference as your last place of work. So if you can, get something else and get out asap.

Good luck!

@Madamswearsalot I’m reslly praying tonight that I’m worrying for nothing and once the discussion has been had with him an amicable agreement is made. I just want a peaceful exit from the place. My anxiety means I tend to catastrophise so it’s probably why I’ve worked myself up so much. I’ll be writing my notice now with an end date and hoping he just lets me go. Amy job is an admin based job, I’ve never had to give 12 weeks notice before for similar roles. I really hope it’s not the case here and he respects me more for actually discussing it with him first.