Pregnant - now persona non grata

[fia101]

Anyone else experienced this?

Worked my ass off this past year, loyal, hard working, frequently worked until early hours and weekends for no extra pay or time off, didn't complain when found out colleagues who did same job were on at least £5k more, didn't complain when pay rise I got for promotion was £1k when was told by colleague it would be £5k. Didn't say anything when part time working application got turned down. Didn't say anything when found out although my childcare vouchers will stop when I got on maternity (losing £243 a month) woman in another department will continue to receive them in a discretionary basis.

New bloke has started in my very small department. He's very nice. I have 1.5 months left til I take first maternity leave with company.

I'm now persona non grata. Female boss has no time for me.

Realised department was all female (and had been for years) when I started. Now it will be all Male with a female boss.

Anyone else become persona non grata when they became impregnated?

Why didn't you assert yourself when you were being walked all over before?

sadly they wont care that you didnt argue about any of the other stuff, you really should have complained at the time

can you prove any prg discrimination?

It isn't a virtue to "not say anything" when you believe you are being unfairly treated. Much of what you've described will be kicked into the long grass by your management, as it relates to information that you cannot prove eg salary inequality. As PPs have said, those concerns must be raised when they are current and on people's radar.

One thing you may still be able to rectify is

Didn't say anything when found out although my childcare vouchers will stop when I got on maternity (losing £243 a month) woman in another department will continue to receive them in a discretionary basis

You need them to comment on why you are not being treated the same as the other employee. Ideally an email raising your concerns will formalise the situation rather than verbally.

You seem to know an awful lot about other people's remuneration - not necessarily a bad thing, but it does mean you need to be really specific and accurate if you want to take issue.

I thought childcare vouchers had to continue when you were on MATL? Worth finding out about!

And stop being a doormat, or they will take advantage of you!

I thought childcare vouchers had to continue when you were on MATL

If the vouchers are part of a salary sacrifice scheme the vouchers do not have to continue. See the Employment Appeal Tribunal's decision in eninsula Business Services Ltd v Donaldson. If the vouchers are provided on top of the OP's salary it is another matter and the vouchers must be provided.

Why on earth didn't you say anything when you found out that others were being paid more, and your bonus wasn't what you had been told?

You should talk to HR to find out about the childcare vouchers, especially if other staff are still receiving them.

What actually is happening when you say 'female boss has no time for you'? Time to do what? Have you asked her to do something and she hasn't done it? Or she won't talk to you? If there is anything specific and work-related, talk to her about it. Or talk to HR.

Too needed to speak up about the other things including child care vouchers as you should get these in may leave

Why didn't you assert yourself when you were being walked all over before?

This really

Well it’s a lesson... I also got this treatment when I was pregnant the first time. Fabulous performance review on the Monday, praising me to the stars, informed them midweek and by the end of the week had my reporting lines stripped off me and all the exposure to interesting projects removed. I was sidelined and isolated and they attempted to manage me out (which thankfully they couldn’t.) is always stood up for myself before but I’d also worked very hard and was really quite put out

Take this as a lesson. To your employer you are nothing more than a body to get a job done. They will treat you as badly as they can get away with. So I’d be raising the discretionary vouchers and the pay discrepancy next time.

There is a fine line to be trodden - make too much noise and you’re a pain to be gotten rid of. Don’t make enough and people will walk all over you. That tightrope that lets you be respected (to the degree any job respects you) while still being seen as reasonable rather than a troublemaker.

Stand up for yourself, and document EVERYTHING in emails. Speak to your union as well.

I feel so annoyed on your behalf. I really hope you remonstrate with them about all this. You have not been well treated. Talk to ACAS if necessary.

I learnt from a friend ‘shy bairns get nowt’ and it has stuck with me. No one thinks less of someone who can accurately articulate their own value.

There is a fine line to be trodden - make too much noise and you’re a pain to be gotten rid of. Don’t make enough and people will walk all over you

The best way of getting the balance right is a short, polite, accurate and factual email to the right person (decision-maker, direct line manager) asking for clarification on xyz that you have concerns about and would appreciate further information on.

It has worked well for me in the recent past when management stated something that was so outrageous re withdrawal of a right. When politely asked to justify their position, they furiously back-pedalled and I'm sure won't be doing that stunt again in a hurry!

I was as well: I didn't take maternity leave but resigned since we were moving overseas and I felt it was abusing the system to take ML knowing that I wouldn't be returning. I was a valuable member of the team, I knew that, salary rises, bonuses etc. Company begged me to stay on a few more weeks / until term - I later learnt that another member of the team was extorting them for more cash.

Anyhow, the overseas move didn't work out as planned and we returned eight months later. A vacancy arose on the team, by coincidence, so I applied for my old job back. They wouldn't even give me an interview!!!! I felt very discriminated against and am still bitter about it. There was nothing I could do about it.

In your case you are the only female in an all male team...if you are being paid less than the rest of the team then you should raise this point immediately. [I don't know anything about childcare vouchers, but I didn't think that they were discretionary, I thought that it was a salary give-up thing].

Thanks all. I realise I'm a doormat and it hasn't stood me in good stead. Took me 6 years to get a job where I live now and was therefore grateful when I got a contract (now permanent).

I did raise the salary inequality at my appraisal and other issues re bonus and promotion and my boss (managing director) lied and said she didn't know what I was talking about. She said she didn't know where these fairy stories came from about bonuses came from.

When the managing director lies to your face where do you go with that?

General way forward where I work (whether Male or female) is to leave - they aren't interested in making terms and conditions better

Re childcare vouchers - woman who is continuing to receive them is really really nice and mentioned it in confidence to me. She didn't realise I now have registered childcare. She's been told by her manager not to mention it to anyone at all to anyone.

If I went to the office manager (this is our HR) and said I knew I'd be getting this woman in trouble and she could lose her vouchers. Wouldn't want that to happen to her because of me.