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Original poster

What to do when 2 employees don't get on?

20 replies

Katymac · 01/05/2007 10:16

One is always needling the other about her weight/diet

I have had a general discussion about personnel remarks & that what you say maynot be intended to offend but sometimes it does

How much of the problem is mine as an employer?

Should I intervean (sp?) or should I let them sort it out

I worry that the person being picked on (although gently) will take offense & leave

Help?

OP posts:

Eleusis · 01/05/2007 10:19

If you think it will impact your business (i.e. a good employee will leave) then you should intervene. However, be prepared that intervening may cause the other one to leave.

Original poster

Katymac · 01/05/2007 10:21

It is difficult to know wht the right thing to do is

One is much gentler and insecurer than the other

I'd rather not loose either

I hate being the boss

It's not bullying-but it's not far off

OP posts:

scatterbrain · 01/05/2007 10:21

Basically person 1 is bullying person 2 in this situation.

You have a responsibility as the employer to protect person 2 from bullying andf harassmnet in her work place. So you should make it clear to person 1 that this is unacceptable to you as am employer and make it a disciplinary matter. You may need to write to her formally with a warning.

Sometimes a direct word will work - many people think they are very amusing with their comments and quips and need it spelling out to them that it is offensive and out of order !!

Good luck !

scatterbrain · 01/05/2007 10:31

Any unwanted attention is classed as harassment I'm afraid !

BrownSuga · 01/05/2007 10:35

Employee 1 making comments
Employee 2 receiving comments

It's how Employee 2 views it whether it is regarded as bullying or not, not how Employee 1 views it (they may think they're being funny, Emp 2 may be taking it more seriously)

Suggest speaking to Employee 2 and asking how they feel about the comments and if they would like you to do anything about it. Then speak to Employee 1 to ask that inappropriate comments should stop (without mentioning conversation with Emp 2). Keep a written record of the date/time, and what was said in each conversation for your records.

ChicPea · 01/05/2007 10:38

It is classed as bullying and you have a duty of care as an employer to deal with it. A meeting and a letter to follow it up to the perpetrator is the first step and that should hopefully sort it out. If it doesn't then a verbal warning is the next step. I don't know in what capacity you employ them but I employ an team of 12 in an office environment and would certainly act swiftly if this occured.

fridayschild · 01/05/2007 10:45

You can be sued personally if you do not act to stop bullying. I think this really is your problem and you do need to intervene, like it or not.

scatterbrain · 01/05/2007 10:56

I agree !

FiveFingeredFiend · 01/05/2007 10:58

It would just take a firm " this is unacceptable" in private.

scatterbrain · 01/05/2007 11:00

Yes - she probably doesn't even realise it is upsetting ! Go on Katymac - you are going to have to bite the bullet !

Marina · 01/05/2007 11:00

Not to mention the effect on morale of the rest of the team as they see this bully getting away with it. You are the manager, you are paid extra to deal with the downside of collective office life I'm afraid

batters · 01/05/2007 11:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

chocolatekimmy · 01/05/2007 12:16

This is bullying. Its about how the victim feels. The perpertrator may well say 'yes i said it but i didn't think it upset her' but that isn't the point. This could lead to work issues such as loss of performance or productivity or health issues such as stress or depression which in turn may lead to absence which is then another issue to deal with.

You can't just ignore it, you have a duty of care towards your staff. You need to organise a conciliation meeting here but both have to agree.

You really need to be trained in such things so as to be able to set the ground rules and steer it it a constructive manner. Both need to have their say, maybe they will understand each other a bit better and agree a way forward.

Both need to be informed that future derogatory or insulting remarks are completely unacceptable and will be dealt with under the disciplinary process and thus could result in disciplinary action such as a warning or more serious such as demotion or dismissal depending on what is said/happens

If things do not improve, you then have the ability to use the disciplinary action and potentially get rid of one if the behaviour continues.

If the victim does take offence and leave then you will be at risk of a claim against the company for bullying and harrassment and constructive dismissal plus possibly a personal injury claim if it makes her ill. It is likely that you as the manager would be required to give evidence at a tribunal should it get that far. You need to think ahead on this type of thing

Original poster

Katymac · 01/05/2007 12:24

So if I take it up with the person "bullying" and she takes offense & leaves - that doesn't put me at any risk as an employer

I am on holiday in France & off to a weddin in "àmin - so I might not get back to this until later or even tomorrow

I think you can tell I'm upset by it (or i wouldn't have found somewhere to be on-line about it)

OP posts:

scatterbrain · 01/05/2007 12:32

Has the one on the receiving ends definitely taken offence or are you just worried she will ?

If she hasn't said anything I wouild tackle it from the "I'm not happy with this/I don't like to hear you saying etc" angle and not involve the other person at this point.

If however she is upset you need to talk to her and ask her if she wants you to have a word.

I think people are right about duty of care - you can't let it go on and maybe escalate into something bigger.

I'm sure a quiet word with the "bully" will be all it takes. And I'm certain that she cannot come back at you in any way - you are not oicking on her - it's just part of an ongoing appraisal !

chocolatekimmy · 01/05/2007 12:39

You need to play it casual for now and don't make accusations in case they are inaccurate. You also don't know if the 'victim' is completely innocent.

scatterbrain · 01/05/2007 12:39

When I said "oicking on her" I did of course mean "picking on her" - Soz !

Original poster

Katymac · 02/05/2007 19:00

I have witnesses to 3 events

1 to 1 person - who wasn't bothered
& 2 to another person - who was very upset

It's very hard - I don't think she thinks she is being rude/unkind/bullying - she "speaks" her mind

OP posts:

Mud · 02/05/2007 19:11

take her out for a drink and tell ehr that you know she doesnt mean to upset her but that x is very senstive about her weight and the constant comments are upsetting her and it has been noticed by other people. tell her that everybody likes her but you wanted to warn her before it went too far and that she really must stop makign personal comments within the work environment. tell her that you are sure she'll understand why you wanted to let her knwo early before it became a problem because she wouldnt want to be seen as a billy

Idreamofdaleks · 02/05/2007 19:23

As others have said, this is not about the intention of the words but about their effect.

You can make this clear to the person who made the comments, and let her know that her personal comments are not neccessarily welcome or acceptable in a work environment. I don't think the person making the comments is likely to leave as a result of this conversation but the person on the receiving end may well leave if you don't act. Whether or not this is bullying is not your judgement though, it is about how the behaviour is experienced by the person on the receiving end - so it would be sensible to ask her how she feels about it before you act.

Ignoring this situation would be a big mistake in my opinion.

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