In need of advice: found out I'm pregnant after accepting job offer

[DC91]

Hello,

So I'm looking for some advice. Between accepting an offer for a new job and my start date (which is next week) I found out that I'm around 8 weeks pregnant - got an emergency scan when discovered due to bleeding but all is well. This is my first ever pregnancy and wasn't planned but my partner and I are very excited.

This is a great job opportunity and one that I really want and plan to stay in for years. I understand legally that I'm not entitled to mat pay but that's fine. I'm more nervous and feel guilty about letting them down after just starting.

My boss leaves for a month holiday and won't be back until February so I feel that I should tell her before she goes but I don't want to ruin her holiday and for my new colleagues to think this was planned.

Morally I feel really bad and I'm quite sensitive so don't want people to be upset with me.

So really I'm looking for some advice on when and how to approach the situation. The company is a charity and the staff seem really lovely.

Any reality checks, advice or support would be much appreciated.

Thanks!

I wouldn't always say this, but in your situation I would be tempted to get on with the job for the first few weeks, then tell your boss that you are surprised to find yourself pregnant, then in due course add that you are even more surprised to find you are further along than you thought. Of course they may totally smell a rat, but if you are performing well (in the job, not as in acting) it might all be ok.

And congratulations on the pregnancy :)

I personally wouldn’t say anything right away. It’s quite usual not to show that early in a first pregnancy (I had only just started a new job when I got pregnant, and I was able to keep it quiet until 20 weeks).
Do 2 or 3 months to show you can do the job, then let your boss know. Good luck with your pregnancy

Congratulations on your pregnancy. You legally don’t have to tell them and 8 weeks is very early in the pregnancy. It’s a shame that your boss is away for a month but you shouldn’t feel like this means you are pressured in disclosing it before you want to. I’d join, wait a few days and then see what the vibe is. If you want some advice as to how maybe to deal with the conversation the charity Maternity Action has a helpline that you maybe able to get advice though.

Good luck.

I started a new job pregnant (was already 8 weeks when I had the interview).

I didn't tell them until:

1. I was past 12 weeks. This is personal choice but I've had a MMC at 12 weeks in the past so is a sensitive thing for me; and
2. I'd been there a few weeks & decided that I liked the job & planned to stay.

I told a teeny fib & said I didn't know when I accepted the job. But I was starting to get chubby (2nd baby!) or I might have strung it out even longer. My boss was great about it - I took it as a compliment how pissed off he was at losing me

I agree with PP. See how things go & how long-term you think the job is going to be. I'd also try to have a discreet look at the maternity policy & when they need to know. Congratulations & good luck!

Congratulations! No need to tell work straight away unless there are any risks to you from the job itself e.g. heavy lifting.

Otherwise, it is totally normal for people not to tell new acquaintances they are pregnant until after your 12 week scan, and I have had several colleagues and friends who don't say anything until after their 20 week scan due to unfortunately having had previous losses etc. And this is well within the 'rules' of when you must notify your employer by (at least 15 weeks before baby is due, so week 25). So I would suggest you just focus on settling into the job, make yourself indispensible, and only share your news with them when you are totally ready.

You will need to think carefully about your length of mat leave, both for financial reasons and there is a rule that you are only guaranteed to come back to the same role if you take 6 months or less off I believe. You usually have to notify employer of planned return to work date (they will presume 1 year), and to give 8 weeks notice of any change in planned return date (even if returning earlier than planned). You will still accrue holiday pay during your mat leave.

But for now just enjoy your good news and get ready for your new job!

Thank you all. Knowing that there's some great people with helpful advice has put my mind at rest somewhat.

I guess there's not much I can do but wait and see and hope that both go well 😊

Hello all,

There's been an update - so I've started my job, really enjoying it and plan to stay.

However, I'm now at 10 weeks and my boss is due to leave from mid Feb to mid March. On her return in March, I'll no doubt be showing and be about 15/16 weeks!

Our department currently consists of my boss, a graphic designer and myself. The graphic designer is looking for other jobs so is planning to leave. Which is adding stress and worry as I'll need to be the bearer of yet more bad news when I reveal I'm preggers.

Therefore, I have no idea when to tell her. I don't feel ready to tell her before she goes away for a month but then how do I get round the fact that I've known and will be 15 weeks when she returns?

😟😨😧😬😞

I don’t think you’re obliged to tell them at any particular stage before 25 weeks - when she gets back just tell her, and in the unlikely event she asks why not told sooner, explain you were waiting for your scan. It isn’t unreasonable to do so, but I get you feel awkward. Good luck

Will she be contactable in the month she’s away, where’s she going? Just thinking maybe you could let her know via email after your 12 week scan.

Thanks for the responses.

She won't be contactable as she'll be in Thailand on annual leave so I would have to wait until she came back.