Manager is awful!! HELP!!

[mum2bemay22]

I’ve just been diagnosed with PGP, at first my MW said it was sciatica but the problem has escalated and it’s now definitely PGP! Anyway my post is about work really and PGP and just seeing if anyone else has the same problem or has any advise. I was signed off for two weeks over Xmas due to being really dizzy and I passed out at work, my dr wanted to sign me off for a month but I didn’t want to be so he agreed two weeks and he would review me. The whole time I was off I got nothing from my manager not even asking how I was after passing out in the work place!! Anyway, I went back into work and I got the silent treatment and I have been isolated ever since. I have now been diagnosed with PGP and it’s agony by the end of the day at work and the drive home. I saw my dr again who wanted to sign me off but I argued it would only make my work life hell and ended up getting really tearful and told him what had happened on my recent return to work. He has given me a note for my manager to alter my hours so I can cope more with the pain but I just know it’s not going to go down well. My dr said if my manager does not agree to help me or the bullying continues then he will sign me off until my maternity leave (I’m 22 weeks at the moment) but I’m worried that will massively impact my SMP. Has anyone else had this treatment at work? If so what is your advise, I’m so miserable!! Manager is a woman as well!

Gosh doesn’t sound like a very good manager, is there someone higher you can speak to? Or HR dept? Hope you’re ok.

How is this bullying? Silent treatment like actually being blanked or just a quiet boss? I think you may be overreacting a bit?

Your manager is being a total tit. I think what you need to do is to be clear on what you want to happen. Do you want reduced hours? Flexible working? Could you work from home?

If you want to get some control of the situation, I would set up a meeting with her and HR together. You write the agenda and the headline - something like "what we need to do to make sure I can fulfil my responsibilities until my mat leave starts on [date]". Make sure you've given them both copies of any correspondence with your doctor, and if I were you I'd write a summary (a very dispassionate one, no adjectives or adverbs) of the doctor's advice to you and let them have that too.

And then after the meeting, I'd make sure that I had written up the notes of what was agreed, and circulated them. If you think you'll find the meeting upsetting, ask someone else to come along to make notes for you. Good luck!

To the PP, I am most certainly not overreacting!! I am the assistant manager and whilst I was signed off sick at Xmas we had apparently employed two new staff members to my team but my manager chose to not tell me and my other staff informed me. I have been ignored and not spoken to at all. No return to work has been completed which is our company policy. I have been told to sit away from other staff if I want to sit down due to my PGP. I was also told that no one gets signed off for a month by a dr and I had fabricated the truth. If it was you in that position, would you think it was bullying or you overreacting?? You are rude.

Thanks monthpythons. I work for a big well known pharmaceutical company (I won’t tell you who but you know them) and speaking to HR is not easy. I may speak to the regional manager and see if that helps my case. I don’t want to be signed off until mat leave as that will affect my pay I assume once baby is here and I love my team just can’t stand her!!

I know it's hard, but you need to take the emotion out of the situation

Work out what you want to happen: do you want to be signed off work? (If the doctor suggests that this is the right course of action, you should surely consider it more seriously?) Do you want to work reduced hours (fewer hours each day, or fewer days a week)? Fix a meeting with your manager to agree the way forward, and when this will be reviewed. Ie make the return to work meeting happen, even if it's a few weeks late

Don't go over and over stuff like her not contacting you when you were off (in some places managers are told not to do this, in case the member of staff off sick perceives it as harassment / pressure to come back to work sooner than intended). Take control of the situation, even if it is by counting down the days until you go on Mat Leave

Silent treatment is bullying. It is a form of exclusion. The person doing it knows they are in position of power and is doing it to provoke a reaction and is highly unprofessional and childish... it is a way to turn the screw... without appearing aggressive...