Back to work with 3 Month Old?

[AnotherBunIntOven]

Who's gone back to work when there little one is around 3 months? Where did they go? How did you cope with the added stress, night feeds etc? How guilty did you feel? How did the baby cope? Did you BF?

Lots of questions as you can see. Got myself in a right royal dilemma! I applied for an internal promotion knowing I'm in the family way. I've been successful and I'll be 12 weeks next week. I'm aware I have done nothing wrong, still must be irritating for the receiving manager!

I work for a very ethical, family orientated business with out of this world mat pay. Last time I took a year off. This time my ideal is 9 months and I'd really be gutted to lose out on some very well paid time off with the new baby, but this job is very important to me so I'm planning on easing the blow to my new boss by presenting him with a few reasonable options. The compromise being 6 months and my minimum being 3.

Just wondered how practical 3 months actually is before I suggest it?

Obviously there's the option of shared parental leave, however my man seems to have jumped in a time machine back to the 1920's! He seems under the impression his new job is more important than my new job and he "couldn't take 3 months out because think what that would do to his career"😡 WHAT??!! Yet attempts to make me feel guilty about going back sooner than planned! "3 months is too soon, we won't cope, the baby is too young for nursery, I still need to make all my work commitments"

If anyone has experience of talking a stubborn, self obsessed man child into shared pat leave- that advice is also most welcome!😂

Thanks xx

3 months seems very short to me. Fine if that’s what you really want or can only afford but you seem to be doing it just so you don’t piss your manager off who you don’t even know will be pissed off. You won’t get this time with your baby back but presumably the job would still be there if you went back at 6 or 9 months?

Most nurseries and childminders won’t take babies that young. Round here none of the nurseries will take babies till 9 months earliest.

Do you have childcare options? A nanny would be best at that age but may not be affordable.

Personally I think that’s very young to be away from main carer.

I did, and so did my mum friends - it was the norm about 25 years ago because maternity leave was much shorter.

The difficult aspects: it’s blooming knackering having a baby that still needs night feeds, plus of course bf before and after work and expressing. So physically very tough.

On the plus side: No separation anxiety whatsoever. Very different to starting to leave a 9 - 12 month old which is quite possibly the worst time in that regard.
Also, I found that returning to work was more like going back after an extended break, whereas mentally I think it must be very hard to go back after a year off because your life will be in a completely different routine.

I guess for you an added difficulty will be that it’s not the norm now to just take 3 months so you’ll perhaps feel judged by other people, who’ll tell you they can’t possibly imagine how you do it.

My dd went to a childminder btw.