How bad (or not) was this behaviour by a senior manager?

[womanvsfood]

A few months ago I had an issue at work (public sector) where I was being bullied by my line manager. I raised this with their manager, everything kicked off, and I was helicoptered by the HR director straight out of that role and into a hastily created role in a different team.

I didn't raise a formal grievance at any point as the issue was resolved so swiftly and the new role was a great opportunity for me. However, there was something that happened during the few days while it was all kicking off that has been mildly troubling me, or at least causing me to reflect on it a fair bit since, and I would be really grateful for any insight that anyone (particularly HR professionals) might have.

Basically, the whole issue was handled generally badly by my line manager's manager (head of function, on the exec board). However, in particular, at one point he called me at home on my non-working day (we had agreed to speak but purely to confirm arrangements for an HR meeting the following day) and during the course of the call started to accuse me of something he had been told on hearsay and that was in fact completely untrue. The conversation got quite intense, I was very upset/crying and having to defend myself on the hoof, and all the while I was standing in my kitchen, with my two year old wailing at me for food, attention etc, all of which he could clearly hear. It was a genuinely horrible experience, particularly given I was in an already pretty fragile state given my experiences with my line manager.

So I suppose my question is, how bad was that (behaviour by manager’s manager)? I know that the HR director knows it happened, but it has never been mentioned, and like I said I didn’t raise any formal grievances at any point so it hasn’t needed to be addressed formally with me.

If one of your exec team behaved like that to a junior (executive officer level) member of staff, how would you view it, and how ‘grateful’ (probably wrong choice of word, but never mind) might you be that I hadn’t pursued it further? Let’s also assume that there is one hell of a grievance culture in the business generally.

I’m not interested in taking anything further now, I think I’m just mildly interested, and possibly looking for some reassurance that it was a pretty unprofessional thing for a leader to do and that I’m not going mad given that no one has thought to address that specific incident with me.

Thanks if you’ve made it this far and sorry if it's too garbled to make proper sense.

Of course it's unprofessional and was badly handled. Picking a fight with someone on the phone is never the right way to tackle an issue. If you dont want to pursue the matter further though, make a note of everything that's happened to date, file it away somewhere and then crack on with your new role.

You had agreed to speak that day and he/she raised something that was troubling them. Not brilliant and it upset you.

But it sounds like you've been placed in a new role that benefits you. I wouldn't raise anymore issues in your position.

Anything that needs to be brought up with an employee should be tackled in a proper meeting.

I think any employee would be, at the least, taken aback to be asked about an issue a superior had with them, over the phone on their day off.

Thanks all. Like I said I've got no interest in pursuing anything now, and actually I have landed on my feet in my new role anyway. I think I've just struggled a bit with reconciling how horrible the experience was with the fact that it has essentially been brushed under the carpet as far as I am concerned (although I appreciate I wouldn't be party to any consequences there may or may not have been for him separately). And all this alongside the endless talk of 'leadership', 'wellbeing' etc.

I suppose there's an element of me that's looking for some appreciation or acknowledgement/pat on the back that I didn't take it any further and just knuckled down and got straight into my new role. Especially as we hear so much from the HR director about how extreme the organisation's grievance culture is.

However, I do also appreciate that this is a tad unrealistic and which is probably why I've come looking for it here!

They might be looking at it from the POV that you 'made waves' and complaints and they responded and you were given another role in which you admit you've fallen on your feet.

Wanting them to thank you for not making more complaints and more work for them might be a bit much.

Don't worry Doculament, I already realise that IABU in that regard!

There was no question that the original bullying accusations weren't justified though, and they have had the same issues previously with the same person.

I think my post came across as harsh, I didn't mean it to - just a bit biased as the staff member I've had parachuted in due to accusations of bullying (his 3rd move due to 'bullying') is a fucking nightmare. And I'm sure I'll be accused of bullying next - due to wanting him to do the job he's paid for!

Doesn't sound like you are at all unreasonable though and I shouldn't have projected that onto your situation.

Have a lovely Christmas

No worries, you have a lovely Christmas too

Joys of the public sector! Extremely difficult to get rid of anyone so bullies get away with it and some piss-takers/incompetents just get moved around

womanvsfood a bit late to this conversation but just my twopenny's worth.

It seems like you're trying to seek 'closure' of some kind, which is natural. Some things feel unresolved, like all the loose ends haven't been fully tidied away.

Try to think of it in terms of a trade-off. The management will never admit wrongdoing, their quid pro-quo in all this is that they helicoptered you into your new role, so they wouldn't have to go though an uncomfortable investigation, had you taken out a formal grievance and exposed bad behaviour. That includes the exec ringing you up on your day off and giving you sh*t down the phone. They haven't covered themselves with glory, and they get to kick the whole business into the long grass, by giving you your new role.

And the icing on the cake is they can whitewash it with their management buzzwords, Yada yada.

You've dodged a bullet, heave a sigh of relief it's over!

A lesson learned, never ever agree to a telephone call at home when it's a sensitive matter. Always push back (in a positive assertive way) and insist on any discussion of that nature being face to face in the office, not encroaching on your home territory, it can increase the level of vulnerability, because you're off guard.

They have no right to ring you at home, they just got their foot in the door that day. From now on, forewarned is forarmed, right?

daisychain01 thanks so much for your long and thoughtful replies. You're exactly right, it is some sort of closure that I am vaguely seeking. However, at least it is only a vague feeling and not something that is keeping me awake at night.

It is irritating (but probably not surprising) that senior management have not dealt with any of it head on but as you and other PPs have pointed out I am well out of it anyway. Onwards and upwards from here! I have also heeded your advice to never agree to speak about work when I'm not working. If nothing else, the last few months have been a useful learning experience all round!