Would would you do regarding sicknote or working all. Christmas and caring for mum

[whatisforteamum]

In September my df died after a few years battling cancer.At first it was a relief as it was everywhere including his brain and spine.
I had recently started a new job so soldiered on.
Looking out for DM who was dependant on df as she had lost sight in o e eye so can't drive and had had cancer twice too.
Recently my boss gave me all days off at once meaning I had to do nine days back to back around eight plus hours.no one could swop.
So I sucked it up we were very busy.when I saw DM she was in a dark house with heating planing up for three weeks and a huge bill too and no pension or income for three months.I find this hugely stressful as I love her and can't persuade my brothers to visit her.I already suffer anxiety so bad I had to stop driving.last Feb.
The gp called and said did I want.to be signed off....the problem is I'm due to work all Xmas.Tjhe rota isn't done yet.I don't want to let people down at all as I work with all men who wouldn't understand. I also don't want to abandon DM after 54 years with df.
My dh tries to help.I couldn't sleep for crying last night.what would you do.I.hate the whole x Max period.anyway I just feel I can't take much more.with grieving my df too.

Get signed off, absolutely. Family comes first x

Meant to say.eighty plus hours stretch**

Put yourself and family first. I am a male with stressful personal situation. I told my employer all my personal problems so what do they do? Suggest i mentor a new member of staff (none of the rest of the team want to train the new staff member). I told them it was too much.

I went to GP and asked to work reduced hours. Then asked several times to do someone else's work who had been given flexible working, even though I was refused similar request 6 weeks prior.

I then started getting very, very forgetful, and was possible risk in my post. I went to doctor and was signed off for two weeks to this Wednesday coming. I still feel forgetful and have a very short fuse which is very unlike me. I have had several shaking episodes, breathless and tight chest.

Sometimes being off sick is better for the employer as well as you. If you breakdown at work what risk will it pose?

Similar to my employer, you going sick be their own making. Having pushed you hard on your return.

Get signed off, you'll be so sick with worry and stress if you don't you'll make things worse and need time off at some point anyway. You clearly work hard for your employer, it's time to look after yourself and your family.

Thank you all.I do have arm pains sometimes and this was checked last year.my panic attacks limit me some days.I just don't want to be off being slagged off then have to return.last year I gave notice on a new job that wasn't working and ended up leaving by Xmas after.deciding a new job wasn't for me.I know how hard it hits my trade and would feel bad others had to pick up the

Shifts

What about the fact its Xmas....two of my colleagues family live abroad and one is a single guy.even so I would feel bad?

But what about you?
Having anxiety and panic attacks and only just being able to cope with an altogether shit past few months?
Are they sat there worrying how you would cope? Are they going to make sure your mum's needs are being met? Are they going to make sure your needs are being met?

I am in same boat. I am due to work boxing day, I am so stressed at moment I would just mess something up. I have come to conclusion that it is worse me being there.

I consider how would they cope if i keeled over dead at your desk or if a very high manager in the organisation cut staffing to the team? Extreme examples I know, but the organisation would cope.

There is always the issue of job security creeping in, but i have to consider, can I cope on the dole for few months between jobs. I personally have, and have always found work again. I weigh this up against how sick i feel, I feel that if I have a nervous breakdown i cannot tend my children or work for a considerable amount of time. Therefore I need to get myself better then return to work.

Can you afford to lose your job? Because I would have though going off sick at peak times and putting loads of pressure on your colleagues would not be a popular move.

So true its all in e mix....my health my poor mums and my colleagues .

I could afford to lose my job however I love working and my anxiety has stopped me driving so for now limits my choices even though I regularly get offers work.