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Original poster

Self employed husband

11 replies

Loula22 · 11/12/2017 10:14

Hi im new to mumsnet so not sure if this is the right thread to post in so i apologise if its not...

So my husband decided to become a self employed carpenter last November he has had the qualifications for a while but with moving in with each other and 2 children ge decided to just jump into factory work and did that for 9 years.. he used to work so many hours and he is a hard worker but then he got depression and said he needed to do something new and something he enjoys. I fully understood as being happy in your work is so important!
Work has been hit and miss all year witch i understand a new buisness takes a while to build up, but in October he sliced his thumb in half on a table saw and shattered the bone snapped tendon so had to have it l rebuilt and with being a carpenter he needs his hands so was out of work and his insurance didnt have accident cover. We live on 140 a week and 100 of that is rent its been like this for weeks and i feel like im about to pop with stress i know he cannot help the fact he hurt his self... but what stresses me out is that everything is left to me..

OP posts:
Original poster
Loula22 · 11/12/2017 10:15

I pressed send before i had finished sorry!! I will carry on

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Original poster
Loula22 · 11/12/2017 10:25

Yeh so all the paper work gets left to me and invoices and quote printing he doesnt understand that i have no idea how to sort this buissness paper work so my head feels like its about to pop.

He is soooo laid back and because he hasn't got a boss to answer to hes just not got the motivation like he used to. I cannot say anything to him because i just get told to stop moaning. He's had a quote to price up since saturday and instead of doing it hes just sat on facebook! Instead of leaving for work at say 9am he will sit on facebook until 10 then im like you need to do some work!!.. his work is good but cannot take constructive criticism as he says im nagging. I just dont no what to do he knows we are struggling but he keeps saying trust me a big job will come in.. im like how when you just sit on facebook most the time.. its me who advertises his business. He only likes the building side of it. Hes moaning now because the internets been cut off and he needs to price some bits up.
Also if he needs a new tool thays expensive he wont save for it because we are skint he will just buy it and if i say he cant because we are skint he goes mardy! And then i feel like the bad one.

Im sorry if this doesnt make sense im just so stressed

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JaneEyre70 · 11/12/2017 13:29

I think you need to sit down and have a very honest conversation about it all. You have to be very well organised, very financially clued up and very disciplined to make a success out of a business. When DH was building his up, there were many months that we were skint - and it was miserable but I always had total faith in his ability and luckily it's really paid off long term and especially in the last 10 years.

Do you have that faith in him, being totally honest? Share your concerns, and the impact his income is having on your family.

Original poster
Loula22 · 11/12/2017 13:43

Hi thanks for replying to me. I do have faith in him but not the way he runs things. I told him today he needs to get really organised with it all. He said "i know i do but you going on doesn't help" and that was it. I talk in a normal voice to him not a naggy voice or shouting lol

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JaneEyre70 · 11/12/2017 15:51

It's not for the faint hearted, that's for sure. What would happen if you took a step back and let him get on with it? Is it something you could try so he perhaps has to step up a bit more? I don't even know how you are attempting to live on £40 a week, it sounds horrendous Flowers. No wonder you feel stressed.

Migraleve · 11/12/2017 15:54

Do you work?

Original poster
Loula22 · 11/12/2017 16:20

Luckily i have amazing grandparents.

Yes i work, and volunteer at the same work place for something that could bring a career for me. I work a hour a day its not good but with a chronic brain condition and back problems its hard for me to do full time still not a good excuse but i still work

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Migraleve · 11/12/2017 16:28

I wasn't getting at you for not having a job, it was more a working for nothing angle, or working essentially 2 jobs as you are tied up doing all this stuff for your OH.

WeAllHaveWings · 11/12/2017 16:46

Doesn’t sound like he’s got what it takes to run his own business but too scared to admit it to himself. Unfortunately he’s sticking you in the position of being the bad guy while you try not to upset him.

You need to sit down, discuss a plan to take it forward, if it still seems feasible then agree targets and a deadline to show improvement, if he’s not making a profit he’s back to finding a job. Stick to it or you will be in the same position in 5, 10 years time.

PurplePillowCase · 11/12/2017 16:48

he needs to find a payee job.

or he would need to bring in twice as much so he could pay you an adequate wage as admin staff. is that feasible? do you want to do that.

ohfortuna · 11/12/2017 17:16

I dont think his business model is viable, for one thing he's relying on you to work for free when you already have more than enough to do and for another he doesnt seem able to motivate himself

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