Harassment

[Angryandpissedoff]

Hi I'm after info on the best way to deal with this.

I work p/t for a small family business. Since June, I'm the only female working on our site. There is one male manager in the office and 3 permanent male yard staff (one a family member) and a number of drivers who are in and out of site. I have 'support' from co-owner, in another office, who is supposed to visit weekly, but I havent seen her for months. I've been there 1.5 years and don't have a contract and have never seen any policies. Maybe relevant - Family members are known to steal from the business and it is all swept under the carpet.

Comments by the manager that I've heard expressed to lads in the yard and chosen to ignore
She needs a punch in the tit
She can suck my cock

What colour knickers are you wearing today? ( asked of female member in head office, more than once, she works closely with co-owner)

The other blokes didn't engage within my earshot.
A new young lad started in June and the comments have escalated

I'll bend her over the table
Your mum/MIL/girlfriend under the table giving me one
Talk about sex in general

The manager and young lad seem to encourage and feed off each other and where in the past comments were irregular they have now become a daily occurrance. I have started voicing my displeasure, esp when I walked into the office with young lad shouting 'hes shoving it up her bum' while both were looking at a porn video. I've told them I dont need/want to hear their conversations and they have a bad attitude to women, but other than shouting 'sorry Angry' and continuing, or comments such as 'Angry's not happy look at her face' it is escalating.

Thurs this week, 5 blokes were in the office when either the manager or lad said something sexual and the young lad ran with it directing coments at me. The ladies loo key has gone missing, so I've had to use the mens, which has a page 3 type calendar on the wall. Reference about this/me was made along with other derogatory comments. I was aware if I responded it would escalate the issue. None of the other blokes said anything. I cleared my desk and left.

It was my intention to speak to the manager on Fri, then email him and the co-owner, unfortunately the manager was out Fri. He came back about 30 mins before I was due to leave. Followed 2 mins later by younger lad, talking about sex. The young lad asked me what was wrong as I'd been quite and looked stressed, then asked if I wanted the calendar to cheer me up, which month I preferred etc. The manager also made a comment.

Sorry it long. I'm not prepared to work in that type of environment and intend to complain, even though my gut instinct is it will be swept under the carpet. I have googled, but I'm not sure which route to go.

Do I have to speak to my manager first, though he is the one who also encourages and condones the behaviour, Or do I go straight to the co-owner?
I am looking for another job, but what can I expect in the meantime, and what recourse do I have if it escalates?
Thanks

I would quietly go about job seeking, get a new job, get the hell out of there, it sounds awful.

The fact is, it is an engrained culture of sexism and if there isn't even an HR department, trying to gain traction and turn it around will be very difficult singlehanded, unless you have a cohort of other females who are prepared to take a united front against the Management. If you can get together with females who were directly targeted and subjected to unwanted attention ie harassment, then you stand a chance of at least getting a message over how disgusting they are, but it won't necessarily stop them.

From your OP, it does not suggest you were personally targeted or subject to harrassment, so you wouldn't have a case you could take to Tribunal.

what recourse do I have if it escalates?

If they turn their unwanted attention directly onto you, and harass you in a targeted, intentional and persistent way, then document everything and take out a grievance against whoever the ringleaders are, directly with your manager. Let them know you are not willing to accept the behaviour. Remind them of the current high profile cases in the media, eg Weinstein and the consequences of their actions.

Call them on their actions if it's against you personally.

Document it all but Id honestly be looking for a new job - you don't have 2 years service so unless you've got a protected characteristic there's no point re tribunals.

Sex is a protected characteristic Theweewitch but the OP would need to have been personally targeted and may need witnesses to back her up if she stands a chance of a successful claim at Tribunal.

Thanks Daisy. Means a lot to get a response

I think its because until this week comments havent been directed at me, but Thurs and Fri they were and it felt intimidating. Previously I didn't like them, I could either or ignore say the odd for gods sake, your mysogonists. This is the first time I really don't want to go back.

To be fair it is only these two. The other blokes haven't said anything in my hearing, but nor did they say anything when they were all stood in the room on Thurs. One of the blokes is the owners son, but I dont think he will say anything to his parents. There is the off chance he may say something to his wife, who also works for the company, but I suppose it depends on his personl feelings.

Are you suggesting not saying anything, just look for a new job.? I dont think I can do that, I'll look for a new job, but I dont think I can/want to stay quiet. But do I have to tell the manager I'm putting in a complaint, before I do?

I had this from a senior manager in my last job. I repeatedly complained to HR, the director and the company owner. I was told it was just his way....

I followed the grievance procedure and my complaint was upheld. Unfortunately the HR manager was then overheard telling the owner that they would just play along with it as I was leaving anyway. I had resigned because I just couldn’t take any more.

I started tribunal proceedings after a free session with a solicitor who said this was mid range sexual harassment. The day they got the letter they contacted me to offer me £15,000 compensation. Clearly having that sort of comment appear in our local newspaper didn’t appeal to them.

I’d recommend documenting everything and following the grievance procedure, if there is one. Otherwise just send it to the most senior person.

Thats awful Midlife. I hope you work in a better area now. At least the HR manager was overheard, or the owner had morals and took action. Unfortunately, the idea of ignoring seems to be preferred. It's easier to sweep it under the carpet. Even some of the articles I've been reading this weekend seems to say, you cand do x, y or z, but actually it may just be better to leave.

I'm 50 and fortunately I've never come across this sort of sustained behaviour in the workplace before. The manager is 30, other lad 21/22. Given the environment, I expected elements of this behaviour, but not to this extent.

I've been tossing and turning the last few nights over this. I think my plan of action is to

Write down what's been going on and sent it to my manager (co-owner) - I'm not sure what the response will be. When I started I was told the manager was like another son to her (her son's get away with stealing from the business, everybody knows, but nothing happens), though a few weeks ago on the phone she said he was a horrible man. However, the owners are very hands off at our branch and rarely come over and their sons aren't up to running the business, hence having a manager do it.

I want a new lock on the toilet door asap, until it is fixed I will approach the business next door to see if I can use theirs.
Keep a written log of future sexual comments. Start openly challenging what they are saying. No doubt it will be 'banter' and I dont have a sense of humour!
Dig out a dictaphone and openly record any future comments directed at me.
Look for a new job.

That sounds like a sensible plan.

It really wore me down. I loved my job and had a very good working relationship with everyone else but they seemed to look the other way whenever there was an incident.

Some time after I left he was sacked and the HR manager eventually followed. I suspect that his behaviour towards me may have been a factor.

I should add, I’m in my fifties and a pretty strong person, but it shook my confidence.

Good luck.

You do not need to be personally targeted or have comments directed specifically at you to bring a complaint!

The Equality Act, applicable from day one of employment, prohibits “Harassment, ie unwanted conduct related to sex or of a sexual nature that has the purpose or effect of violating the victim's dignity or creating an intimidating, hostile, degrading, humiliating or offensive environment for him or her”

My italics, but the environment the OP is being subjected to certainly falls under that.

I’m sorry you’re having to deal with this. It must be awful feeling completely outnumbered.
Can you record it? I know that might sound too far, but having that before going to the owner might make them realise you’re serious. (If you the try to brush it off you can always go to be papers)
I dealt with this badly as a 15yo Saturday girl, constantly told how they’d like to take me out back, or to the stock room. One dragged me into his office to “give his cock a good sucking” which was meant as a hilarious ‘joke’ sadly I was too young and naive to do anything about it, family business as well.

Thanks for your input Flowery, I will use your excerpt in my letter.

Midlife - I would like to think the incident made the men involved think about their actions, it would be great to think they left under a cloud and their actions had consequences on their future jobs.
Most of the time, though disgusted, I have been able to brush off their comments or call them out, but Thurs was a direct attack and knocked me, which may or may not have been picked up on and contributed to Friday's comments. Or that's me excusing and rationalising their behaviour!

Front - That's awful. I hope you could tell somebody. I have a feeling there were others around, that could have intervened when it happened as well.

I don't think it is legal to record people without their knowledge. So I am planning on being upfront when they start tomorrow and hope I can maintain a degree of bravado I don't really feel tomorrow and not be intimidated.

Thanks for your input it has helped. I'll let you know how it goes

I'd try to record something. You can justify that and also if you don't record it you can't use it if you do you can! Some tribunal judges are more amenable to recordings being used it depends on the co text and justification. You seem to have a strong case.

Context that should say

It's not illegal to record someone you just might not be allowed to use it in court proceedings!

Emailed my letter last night, so wiil see what the response is today.

I feel nervous about going in, but keep giving myself a shake as I shouldn't have anything to be nervous about. I just hope I can remain as calm, controlled and articulate as I aim to be, if they do start.

I also think that it's ok to record someone covertly if you feel threatened - which it definitely sounds like in this case. Good luck Op.