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HR people a work/social type question

9 replies

AmeliaFlashtart · 05/12/2017 21:08

Over a year ago a senior HR person (3 levels higher than me) was bought into my organization. I had dealings with him very soon after he started over an issue he was involved in sorting out and instantly thought I recognized a potential friend in him (not romantically he is openly gay). A few months later a redundancy programme was implemented, I had seen it coming for a long time so wasn't surprised - it soon became clear that was why he had been brought in as he was experienced in doing this and was leading the programme, I was in the pool.
Lots of staff immediately nicknamed him the Grim Reaper, joked he doesn't have a shadow etc and even though redundancy situations are horrible I think it was all handled as well and as sensitively as it could be.
I'll get to the point, he retired last week, he was only there a little while but rank/role and the reason he was there seemed to make it impossible to be too friendly. In the admittedly limited dealings I had with him he seemed like a nice warm man with a good sense of humor. Now he is just a bloke with no power over my future/position/pay etc would it be weird if I send him a friend request on FB? I just always felt I recognized a potential friend and was really sad to hear he was leaving, it felt like a missed opportunity.

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AmeliaFlashtart · 05/12/2017 21:20

I suppose I'm asking would you think it weird given the circumstances if someone did this to you?

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Caenea · 05/12/2017 21:23

I'd think it was quite nice!

Worst he can do is not accept it/ignore it.

AJPTaylor · 05/12/2017 21:24

Seems harmless to send him a request. Just dont feel rebuffed if he doesnt accept it. Lots of people keep work/personal stuff separate.

LordSugarWillSeeYouNow · 05/12/2017 21:25

He will probably be really pleased op! Especially if he's known as being the bad guy so to speak. What's the worst that can happen? Go for it :)

daisychain01 · 07/12/2017 04:10

If you felt there was a connection there, I'm sure he would be very pleased to hear from you. It isn't at all inappropriate.

Unrelated, but he had a difficult job to do, those other employees calling him names behind his back was mean.

scrabbler3 · 09/12/2017 22:31

It's not inappropriate at all.

AmeliaFlashtart · 10/12/2017 07:34

Ah well, looks like he's chosen not to accept it, never mind 😊.

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ForgivenessIsDivine · 10/12/2017 09:45

From his point of view, he was brought in to implement a redundancy programme and would have known that this was a difficult position and would have set his personal boundaries with that in mind. I don't think he would have been in a position to consider this job as one in which he was likely to make friends. Perhaps in the real world, if you bumped in to him casually, something might come of it, however, there is no way of interpreting what was being the Facebook request, genuine warmth, facebook spying.. etc and also if this is a role he has done before, I strongly suspect he keeps his social media presence very tightly guarded in case people were to likely to seek him out after redundancy. I guess I am trying to say... don't take it personally...

AmeliaFlashtart · 10/12/2017 10:46

I won't 😊 glad I extended the hand though.

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