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Original poster

Lots of job offers in my 30s, none in my 40s - anyone else?

51 replies

windygallows · 29/11/2017 18:10

I'm late 40s and a senior manager in the arts. I've just found out I've been unsuccessful in another job interview, one I really wanted (sigh). I've had 7 job interviews in the last 2 1/2 years and have never had a job offer. I'm going for slightly more senior or sideways roles. I'm v qualified and have won a number of national/sector awards in the last few years and have a good reputation - so a lot to shout about.

Compare this with the period from age 30 - 42 when every role I interviewed for I was offered. Every single one and there were 7 of them (some I turned down, some I accepted).

I haven't changed as a person (except to get more experience - if anything I'm better at what I do now). I know I probably need to practice my interview style etc but I used to do well....

Is this an age thing? Do employers prefer women under 40? Has anyone experienced similar? Or do I just need to hike up my boots and keep trying (which I will do).

OP posts:

KatherinaMinola · 05/12/2017 11:42

Interesting. I have had the opposite experience in that I've had several "approaches" in my 40s vs none in my 30s - I think I'm seen as a safe pair of hands now. However, these were not for senior roles. And since I haven't taken up any of the invitations to apply I don't know if they would have translated into job offers - maybe not!

With the arts I think age discrimination is sector dependent - advanced age no barrier at all in classical music but might be in a more fashionable area where your potential boss is also likely to be younger.

Original poster

windygallows · 05/12/2017 12:11

Walnut sorry to hear that. It's v hard out there. Agencies often help rather than hinder and, I find, are often discriminatory in their practices and therefore tend to promulgate the status quo.

OP posts:

Walnutwhiplash · 05/12/2017 13:16

Thanks windy - there seems to be so much knowledge, talent and experience just going to waste

2017RedBlue · 05/12/2017 13:44

This reply has been withdrawn

The OP has privacy concerns and so we've agreed to take this down.

goteam · 05/12/2017 19:28

queen I would usually agree about staying in part time work except I have seen a few interesting looking civil service returnships where you need to be out of the workforce for at least 2 years to be eligible. Actually made me consider taking a few years out!

Original poster

windygallows · 06/12/2017 10:43

redblue agree coaching is a good idea. I'm out of practice at interviews and not as adept at coming up with good replies in an instant. At a senior level people like a good talker. But I don't think I'm just average or just do a good job - I've transformed teams and won over 10 awards across my career, many national.

That said to your question about 'what makes a senior manager' I do think that if talent/skill isn't the main decider it's often because someone likes the 'style' of an individual or their energy and often these things are highly subjective and influenced by ideas about age and gender. It's also quite common for people to recruit people like them so again issues around bias.

OP posts:

christmaswreaths · 08/12/2017 07:26

Definitely true about people like them.
As a non UK citizen already my name puts people off, as they prefer English sounding ones.
Then there is the gender bias and finally age - not a great combination.
I am finding it very hard too, I am in a job but finding it hard or even impossible to get promoted.

CharisMama · 08/12/2017 07:46

I had coaching. Her enthusiasm was exhausting. I do have a job now but it was from a place that tested me rather than considered my cv. I had my cv 'done up' and she boosted my belief in myself but my lack of belief 8n myself was never then main problem. Getting to interview was the stumbl8ng block.

All the interview training in the world wasnt helping me when it was fairly obvious i was a ''mum returner''.

MaybeDoctor · 12/12/2017 11:11

I am in my early 40s, working part time. I tend to take the long view and think that I have loads of time left in the workplace (retire at 70 anyone? ) and the people being promoted now, may not have yet had their children or any time out of the workplace due to family/health or other things.

I think this period is a tricky one - you are not as young and dynamic as you used to be, but equally you don't carry the authority of being an 'elder'.

My plan is to move towards self-employment and build a career around training, development and advisory type roles where experience and longevity tend to be valued.

CharisMama · 12/12/2017 21:41

I find it so hard to believe that people will be work8ng til 70.. they'll be got rid of by private employers and then shamed for being out of work by the state

MrsDrThorne · 13/12/2017 12:46

I found this too, once I was over 40 and needed to look for work I found it easier to work for myself than get another job. The jobs I might have been young enough for I was over qualified and the jobs I was qualified for they wanted someone younger.

I have completely found this,except I also struggle to get enough work in self employment! I am over qualified for more junior roles and too old for those I am qualified for.

I think it may also be industry specific. I’m 48 and in NHS management, there are plenty of senior jobs being offered to women like me. I’ve been encouraged to apply and offered a few in the last year or so.
I completely agree with this.Some sectors eg the media and comms crave youth, others have the sense to value experience.

My personal view is that being a SAHM is one of the worst things you can do if you want a decent career. I know it will get me shouted down here, but it makes you less credible. Always work at least part time.

I completely agree with this Queen. I have not been entirely a SAHM but have only freelanced part time and it just has not been enough. I desperately want to retrain but it is hard to work out what in!

Nasreen · 13/12/2017 14:14

Same here MrsDrThorne. I am 46 and contemplating retraining, but haven't a clue what to do! I feel very much left on the shelf, even though I am very employable, am of an empathetic nature and even spend hours each week helping people sort their benefits , debts and all sorts out, No employer wants my skills and I can't work out why. Is it age? Is it my colour? (light brown) Is it my gender? Or do I just not have the right skill set for any of the jobs I apply for?? Scratching head in desperation here!

CharisMama · 13/12/2017 14:40

Im glad to see ireland has introduced a measure to incentivise employers to employ 50+ individuals.

I SPAMMED the oireachteas for weeks in the run up to this announcement!

It isnt specific to mums returning to workplace but it will help them too.

Email your politicians to ask what they are doing to promote employment of older people.

The standard response is that there are courses etc but if you finish courses and employers wont interview you because of your age then that is the real obdtacle. We can all do courses at any point.

I have a job now and when I am permanent I'll send more emails to the government.

All this horseshit about working til 70, when women over 40 ish cant get back in to the workplace after a gap!! Makes me roll my eyes.

dimsum123 · 15/12/2017 09:35

Nasreen, snap! I don't know what it is about me that is unsuitable for work.

It is very demoralising. I'm not ready to go on the scrapheap just yet, I'm 47. So at least 15-20 years of working life yet, but nobody wants to know.

dimsum123 · 15/12/2017 09:37

Charismama, I definitely will be emailing my MP. It's a disgrace that so many SAHMs are effectively left on the scrapheap after taking time out to bring up the next generation of tax payers.

CharisMama · 16/12/2017 00:56

I know dimsum. Women pay a huge price for parenthood.

hevonbu · 16/12/2017 01:25

We were three female colleagues over fifty who talked a lot about this issue last year, but all three of us have now successfully switched into new jobs. But, admittedly, this is a real problem. The sector is important, some sectors are very unforgiving towards older women.

mumof2kiddos · 16/12/2017 15:58

I am 45, was in middle management role till I was 37, then left my job to look after my family as I had my DS. My plan was to take a break for 5 years and then return but it proved IMPOSSIBLE. So apart from doing some voluntary work for an year and a part time job for about six months, the only option I had was to retrain and I chose to do a Masters in a sector which is totally new to me but the transferable skills will be very useful. This also meant however that I will have to start from scratch in future career rather than get a parallel movement. I did it part time and towards the end, I started to apply in numerous positions but not one materialised to an interview. I was always suspecting that ageism, sexism as well as my original race (South-asian) has an immense factor to play in these matter, but of course whomever I spoke with, massively denied it. I had actually felt really bad as I felt like I had wasted thousands of pounds to do my masters which I really enjoyed doing.

However, last week I had an interview as a Graduate consultant and have been informed that I have been selected!!! They said that they were thoroughly impressed with my technical and team skills and have chosen me and 3 others from a group of 15, ALL of whom are less than 30 excepting me. Infact during the interview I was chatting with a girl who was 22 and also come to attend the assessment! Really made me feel so aged..she could have been my daughter!

I havent yet seen the contract so havent told anyone else (not even my DH as he is away in a tour and want to give him a surprise), only you people just know it

CharisMama · 16/12/2017 19:41

congratulations mumof2kiddos! Be cautiously delighted!

It's so brilliant when you finally get a job, it's so hard fought for. I really appreciate the foot back on the ladder that I have now, so much more than the people half my age. I wouldn't in a million years ''dis'' millennials, the ones I work with are smart and work hard but they believe that if they fancy it, they can move on, and they're right, they can. They have no idea that I can't and I keep it to myself really. I don't want to lower my own stock.

MrsDrThorne · 20/12/2017 13:46

congratulations mumof2kiddos that is great news. Well done. It gives me hope!

Nasreen I know exactly how you feel. I have had it suggested that I could spend the next 20-25 years basically doing what I am - some freelancing and some volunteering work - but no, I can't! I have been in my current field for around 16 years and have had enough. It is for than time to move on.
I am going to use the little bits of peace I get in the holidays and January (always a quiet period work wise) to have a long, hard, think and give myself the balls to make a move to so something.

I have three friends (one man, one woman) who took MAs or other qualifications in completely new fields, all in their 40s, and all have forged successful new careers. It can be done. It is more about me getting the nerve to do it...

Nasreen · 21/12/2017 13:59

Ditto MrsDrThorne
I need to have a long hard think too. Definitely need the balls to take a risk and try something new, even if I fall flat on my nose!!

Let's make 2018 our year!!

cheminotte · 06/01/2018 22:42

There were some stats a while back about levels of employment in 50+ women, and I wondered if it was due to gaps in employment / ageism or both. I’ve also read that women’s earnings peak at 40 (which is why to get money into your pension early in your working life), whereas for men it’s about 55.

bumbleandbumble · 09/01/2018 17:50

I am experiencing the exact same thing. Its soooo depressing. Its starting to affect my kids and my marriage as I feel so useless. I am 40.

I am desperate to go back to work, (my youngest is 15 months, my previous contract was not renewed while pregnant, so I got the maternity pay but no role to go back to.)

I have made at least 40 applications, been on 5 interviews and nothing, even second round interviews. My last interview the guy even said "well you tick all the boxes and I know you would be perfect, but the other candidate I am seeing is 24 and willing to take 10K less in salary" I didnt get the job!

Also at my last company...it was all senior management men age 45 plus and everyone else was 23 and paid minimally. I was so out of place. I am also finding recruiters wont put me forward.

Its like no mans land. The recruiter said I was not experienced enough to be put forward for a senior position. Then I applied recently to 4 different junior positions and was told each time that I was over qualified, its "not right for you, too junior".... even though I was willing to take the junior role I still cant get it.

I want to retrain and am willing to, but I cant afford it. Plus I already have a degree and postgraduate degree... so retraining in a different field is just too risky and I cant afford it.

Its nice to read that I am not alone. But I am really depressed.

MrsDrThorne · 10/01/2018 13:10

Have a virtual hug bumble sounds like you need it. I feel exactly the same way. I am a bit older than you and feel, well if not the scrapheap than certainly not far from it. I am thoroughly and totally fed up.

OneMoreOne · 10/01/2018 13:19

Pps who know people who have retrained, or done it themselves, could you give a guide to what sort of jobs they retrained to?

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