I don’t know whether I’m being a bit ‘over-sensitive’ about this and would appreciate some outside input on whether I should speak to HR about my line manager at all.
My dad died in April. He took his own life and it’s been a traumatic time since. My line manager can be a bit...outspoken. He talks about things that he’s not meant to and has very set views, mouths off a bit about people on benefits and is quite judgemental.
My line manager knows how my dad died and has had a few cases of not engaging his brain before he speaks. I understand he’s not necessarily thinking, and of course I’m going to pick up on it more, but actually I think he should know better. There are three occasions where he’s said something that I’ve found upsetting, the most recent today. He walked in this morning whinging about temporary traffic lights and about how the person who is responsible for highways should be strung up. He went on to say that ‘the person should be hung from a lamppost and made an example of’. I didn’t immediately say anything but did think ‘did you really just say that?’. I had to go outside and have a minute because it actually really upset me. I was having a bad day anyway but that comment just really hit me. I did ask him for a word about 50 mins later as it was playing on my mind and asked him to think before he speaks. He was confused at first and then when I started to remind him of what he said he realised. He apologised but pretty much embarrassed/nervous laughed throughout him speaking. He said I could take a few minutes if I needed them. I took a minute or two as a couple of tears had escaped and then came back to my desk.
The two previous occasions were a bit different as the comments were aimed at me and a colleague. We were putting together a presentation and having a discussion about it. Line manager said ‘well if you want to go hang yourselves..’ and then on the other occassion ‘if you want to commit professional suicide’. Both of these comments upset me but I didn’t pull him up on it. Both comments were made in July.
There are other issues at play here as well. My colleague asked for a pay rise in her supervision last week and within the conversion my line manager basically said to her that if I got a pay rise they would need to add more responsibilities to my job role. There’s a bit of a long story to that one but I wasn’t impressed that he was discussing that with my colleague. He’s also made comments on my brother having two kids by the age of 22 and other things. Like I said earlier he does discuss things he shouldn’t.
I’m considering speaking to HR about it. I don’t necessarily want to make a formal complaint but the way he can be is starting to impact on me. Today my head has been a bit all over the place. I’ve tried to keep busy but not been 100% successful. My husband thinks my line manager is out of order and I should speak to HR. Is there any point speaking to them or should I just leave it?
I’d appreciate any advice - thank you.