Betrayed by my boss - how to deal with it (please be gentle with me - fragile!)

[shouldaknownbetter]

I have worked with my boss for around 3 years, and whilst I've never really fully trusted her we have built up a certain level of trust and support to the point where I thought we had a reasonable working relationship, friendly but not really friends if you know what I mean.

I work in an internal support role, and for some reason a senior client doesn't like me and gave some feedback for my review which was factually incorrect. Saying I'd let someone else do all the work on a project, and that I'd removed myself from a forum group when in fact I had been asked not to be on it because there were too many people.

Anyway I was upset about this but discussed it with my boss who said not to worry as she knew I'd done the work and the forum group thing had been a misunderstanding, but as the senior client is leaving soon then not to worry as she wasn't worried

That was fine until I got the write up to my review meeting .

She basically put all the manager's feedback in virtually verbatim and said she was concerned about the feedback and it could impact me meeting my objectives.

I don't understand how she could tell me to my face not to worry then say the opposite in my review.

OK I understand she doesn't want to call the senior client a liar but we discussed that it was a misunderstanding, which it is. So she could have put that.

Just to clarify, no one sees my review but my boss and me, and possibly my boss's boss if she asks for it - so senior client wouldn't ever see it.

I am gutted that she has betrayed me like this.

I've emailed her to let her know I am suprised/not happy. And then forwarded the email to her boss saying that I was concerned at how this has been dealt with and whilst i hope it can be resolved with boss, if not I will need to take it further.

How do I cope with the feeling of betrayal? And how best to approach this now with my boss? I have never gone to her boss before, ever - no one has as she's a bit distant and scary. So that will be a shock to her.

I have emails to support that a) I did do the piece of work I was accused of not doing and b) the forum team were told there were too many people on it and asked for one person to volunteer to remain.

I think first of all you should have given your manager the chance to discuss your email before going above her to her boss. You will damage your relationship even further by doing that.

Usually in a review/appraisal write up you have the opportunity to add your comments. If you can then I'd write something like:

I appreciate the feedback that you have provided and the opportunity to discuss the concerns raised by ...!

As we discussed on .... during the review meeting the drum team had requested that....... I agreed with the decision to reduce the number of participants in this activity it allowed for a more focused approach. I was pleased to hear from you that you were aware of the activity I completed for this project, including but not limited to:

• list key tasks here.......

Then return it by email with a delivery and read receipt.