Want to go back FT - will DS be alright?

[ChrissyJ]

DS is 3 months now and I am intending to go back to work FT when he is 8 months. I don't want to work part time as I would like to save that option for when we have more kids. Also I feel funny about the idea of not going back "properly" ie FT. I am NOT saying this is what I think about other people who work PT, it's just how I feel for me.

Anyway, how have other MNers found this? Do you feel that your DS/DD has suffered from being put in full time childcare at a young age? I know that he would be OK but I don't want him to just be OK, I want him to feel secure and loved and have a nice time. I am worried that he would miss me and that 40 hours is a helluva long time for a an 8 month old to be away from mummy and daddy.

Sorry, I think the confusion may have been my fault! I actually only have 1 under one, and 2 under 8 (age 6 & 8). Two other hangers on of 12, who just don't want to go home and would rather still come here! I have them all on different days too, so I actually only ever have 3 children in the house at the same time and thats not all day, as the two older ones are at school.

One aspect of cm's which I think gets overlooked is the chance the little ones have to interact with older children (and vice versa). I think this can be a lovely experience for all of them.

All sounds v sensible and convincing. Now all I have to do is find good local cm with space for an under-1 come Sep. Sigh.

Cat64 thank you some good points there.

I went back to work with DC1 when she was 3 months old This was back in the early 90s when maternity leave was only 3 months paid leave and the option of 3 more unpaid. (In my experience with mortgagerates as they were then, only the seriously well orr could afford the additional 3 months!) TBH, I found the younger the child, the easier it is to leave them. Some of my friends who've had babies more recently and have taken a whole year off, have found that they're having to start leaving their child just as they're reaching that one year stage when they can become quite clingy. I really think you'll be fine. This is clearly what's right for you and your family.

I went back to work F/T when DD was 6 months as I had to fulfill a contract. The first few months were OK but after that it became a complete and utter nightmare. She picked up every bug going and was frequently ill and although the nursery was supposedly good, attached to a hospital and had a long waiting list, I did have some doubts about the standard of care towards the end. I left two months early as I was worried that DD was not feeling as secure as I wanted.

I think I was unlucky, but I found the whole thing so traumatic that I then didn't work for 6 years until I started a small business from home a year ago. If I had to do it again I would go for a Nanny if I could possibly do so. But as I said, I think I just had a bad experience.

When I went back to work FT, I managed to switch my hours around so that I always worked weekends and my DH worked from home one day a week. This meant that DS only had to go to nursery for 2 days a week and that one of us would be with his most of the time. This eased any guilt that I had about going back to work.

What ended my reign as FT worker was never seeing him. Getting back from work after 7, DH taking him to nursery. It wasn't the life I wanted.

What I am trying to say (in a rather long winded way) is that you can always change circumstances to suit you better and that there's no harm in giving it a go. You are understandably worried about FT childcare but the truth is that if it doesn't work you can just change it. Deciding to go back FT now doesn't mean you can never change your mind again.

ChrissyJ - I went back to work when DS was 9 months old. It wasn't easy for either of us but he was fine after a few days. He was in a nursery and that would still be my first choice (after my parents). He didn't stay just in the baby room and the garden, they also went to a nearby park and the shops.

The decision to go back FT and have him in nursery was best for ME but also best for HIM as it turned out. DS is also profoundly deaf and I felt confident enough with the nursery that they'd be keeping his hearing aids in all his waking hours and interact with him etc. The fact he has excellent language and speech confirms my belief that we've all done a great job.