Apologies in advance for lenghty post!
I've worked in same organisation for almost 20 years. 8 months ago i took a post in different department as it was more hours & i wanted to learn something new. A month ago, my new manager was asked for someone with front-line customer service experience to go for 6 months to new project. There was no job description & it was all a bit vague, except that it was just doing what i do already as they had no one on site who knew it.I was chosen & felt it was chance to show willing & develop further. A month in & it is a disaster! The job i thought i'd be doing isn't even set up yet, so i've been just 'tagging along' while they try to get the department up and running. The boss at new place is off on long term leave & not replaced. I have been asked to help/give advice on things above my band (i'm basically entry level). I said i didn't even have IT access permissions for some stuff they want - i was then given this & am having to trawl round on-line, internal guides for info on how to do things as they don't know either. They are very nice/apologetic, and try to include me, but it's totally outwith my training - i'm a clerk who uses systems, not helps set them up!
My boss (i still report to my old department head) was in the office i am 'loaned' to last week, and when i saw him i said i was unhappy. We didn't have time to talk, but he said it's OK, none of us knew what would be involved & to keep chin up! He had also started new post & i have yet to meet his replacement - my 'new' manager. So, i don't know what to do. I am being asked to do things i have no skill or training in. I don't know what the staff here thought they were getting & feel like i am letting them down & holding them back, although they are too nice/busy to say so. I ask for things to do, but as it's not anything in my field, i have to then self teach & it takes forever to do even the simplest task which makes me feel like an incompetent time waster.
My DH is now sick of me stressing & crying and won't discuss it anymore - except to tell me to resign as we don't need it (but why should i after 19+ years)My DC just want 'fun' Mum again & not tired, upset & anxious me! My substantive post is being backfilled for 6 months (& person in it has - apparantly - said they love it & will make a stink if it is cut short). I feel like i will be part responsible if things fsil & department doesn't happen or is pulled.So, what now? I feel trapped. My DH says demand a proper review & say i'm in situation i'm not trained for & it's up to them to fix it as i'm the bottom rung & was pulled over to 'try out' a system, not create it!
Do i suck it up for next 5 months & chalk it to very bad experience, do i start looking for new jobs, do i kick a fuss & demand a move, do i insist on formal meeting & show boss just how upsetting i find this? I fear being judged a failure, of making my manager look bad, of facing colleagues as a quitter, looking weak & whiney to new team - or all of these- all i do is cry over what is barely above minimum wage job! I am not sleeping, have lost weight & dread going in - never in 19+ years have i cried/felt sick driving to work.
Thanks for reading - just writing it had helped! Any/all advicd or experiences welcomed.