Flexible working refusal

[Hilzy]

I am so upset and need advice. I work in the nhs admins. I requested for flexible working as am a mum of 3, ages 1,3 and 6. I explained that I need to work some days during the holidays as using my holiday would mean I would have nothing left plus it won't even be enough. This request for the 3 and 6 yr old as the 1 year old goes to nursery fulltime.

My request was denied based on it would be detrimental on my quality of work as my children would take priority and therefore affect the team performance and customer relation. I asked that they give me a trial period but was refused even tho I had done this in a previous trust

I was told I can buy up to 4weeks unpaid leave and i can get 4 days parental no pay leave a yr. I explain that would put in financial hardship but was told "unfortunately that is the price you pay for being a mother". Anothet option was to reduce my hours which I explain does not solve my problem.

I need advice as i want to appeal this decision and have only 14 days. Am so upset ,angry and sad. 😠😢

You asked to work from home so you could care for your children while they are on holiday? Well that would explain why your employer said your priority would be your children. I don't see the point in appealing this decision OP, sorry.

If you are for real then you need to do what the rest of us do:

Pay for childcare
Use annual leave
Do compressed working (subject to approval from your employer)
Split the burden with the children's father
Use unpaid parental leave - you've got three children so you have plenty to use
A combination of the above.

You haven't made a flexible working request; you have requested to be paid to look after you children. Of course they said no.

I know you all feel the request is silly but the truth is my work doesnt require constant face to face meeting but rather agreeing a deadline and hitting it. There are a couple of pple in my office that work from home and comes in the office once a month.
Saying that a 3 and 6 yr old can be a handful is an assumption as all kids r different.If i left my kids would distract me i wouldn't even ask and would bare my cross quietly.

OP are you seriously telling us your 3 and 6 yo will look after themselves all day and just leave you to work???

Nothing you have added suggests you are not taking the piss.

Unless you are delusional. In which case I am very sorry, for you.

Your work may not require you to be in the office , but you seriously cannot expect them to pay you a wage to stay home and do a bit of work in between caring for your children .

Of course the other option is there just isn't any work to do.

In which case I think your focus is misplaced. I'd be either a) finding some work to do or b) getting another job sharpish.

Where's the children's dad? Please don't tell us he's too important to take time off to look after his children.

Tbh, it wouldn't be fair on your kids if you were focused on work all day, and it wouldn't be fair on your employer if you weren't focused on work all day. So either way, it isn't a good option.

When were you planning to do the work exactly? While the children were up and about, or when they're in bed?

OP, it’s not so much that you’re not required to be in work that seems to be the problem here, it’s that you would be trying to juggle actually doing the childcare with doing your work, simultaneously.

I see what you meant in your OP now when your employer said they were refusing your request because your children would end up taking priority - in this scenario, I agree with them.

I find it hard enough to work from home with the kids there and I have teenagers!

Thank you all for all your input and time taken to reply much appreciated.

My job is 100% home based with occasional trips to the office. I also work to deadlines. I also have two children.

I pay for holiday clubs. That is the reality.

You have basically asked to work 60% in holidays but be paid 100%. You told your employer you would be looking after children on the two days WFH. Most flexible working policies expressly state this is not allowable.

OP I work from home and my job can be very demanding at times. It's harder during the school holidays and i often have to catch up in the evening/ early morning. (My children are 8 & 13...) Part of my job is to coordinate free lance workers - I can spot the ones with small children at home easily because of their (luck of) work.
I think you have to be realistic in your expectations in regards to looking after a 3 and 6 year old. Your children are still at an age where they need close supervision / your attention most of the time. You can't just "leave" them for a 3-4 hour stretch in order to do your work. If your work is time sensitive, as in office hours, even more so.
When your colleges are allowed to work from home because their children are ill, it's probably seen as a "one off" compared to the permanent arrangements you are asking for.
So my advice to you is: wait till the 3year old starts school. Re apply asking for permanent working from home on x day. (Don't mention child care unless asked: oldest are at school & keep your youngest in ft nursery till school.)
Think about the benefit this would have to your employer. Ask for a try period.
Good luck and remember, working from home is not all sugar coating and rainbows!

Unfortunately this kind of request is what puts employers off flexible working requests :(

You absolutely categorically cannot expect anyone to think it is okay or workable for you to do the same standard or amount of work when you are solely responsible for 2 small children. 3 year olds need constant supervision it doesn't matter if they are a "handful" or not!

I don't want to sound horrible but I'm actually a little worried about what you consider looking after the kids while you are at work if you think this is manageable