Manipulative boss - is the only way out?

[whirlyswirly]

My line manager is v senior in the organisation. Plays favourites and manipulates everyone around her. Can be utterly charming.

She's always seemed to like me and has promoted me but is very controlling of everything I do. Tiny things need authorisation and I can't make decisions without fear of repercussions. I can never predict what will set her off.

The irony is, she's very experienced and good at many things - she doesn't need to use this approach for respect. Last week I'd upset her by trying to show initiative on something and got the silent treatment for a day before she started being nice to me again. It's making me anxious and I'm losing confidence.

I am mid study for a professional qualification and could do with staying put for a year or so but this is pretty intolerable. No hr, no unions, no other senior managers who could fight my corner - is going the only option? And why do people need to behave this way?

The only thing you have control over is your reaction to her.

I always try and suck it up with people like this but there comes a point when I can't stand it any longer and either minimise my contact with them or work on an exit strategy.

It sounds like you're a bit stuffed if she's your line manager. I guess you need to compare staying and putting up with the childish behaviour or moving and trying to find a way to continue with the qualifications.

People are like this because they are childish, unprofessional and self centred. Dealing with one myself at the moment. Thankfully, I will be free of the old bint after Friday!

Thank you zippy. Lucky you being free - I can't think I have many more years before mine retires but I can't see her relinquishing control even then. She'll probably try and stay on as a consultant and plague me.

Decided today to try and hang in there until qualified, keep my head down and stop trying to be an uber pleaser - there's no point.

An imminent office move should put some physical distance between us too.

Well, you've made a decision which is good. I would work on minimising the contact and not getting drawn into the drama. It's probably her wanting control over you and if you act non-plussed/disinterested she might give up.

I've said it on here several times but I have found that selective hearing works very well. So if someone is getting a bit lairy or shouts at me from the other side of the office (I really love that!) I just ignore them. After two or three attempts I might respond by which time the person in question sounds like the uneducated chimp they really are.

Disclaimer: challenging work environment