Not getting on with boss - would you leave job/would it be a dealbreaker?

[windygallows]

I have a really interesting role in the public/charity sector which I've been in for 6 years and which brings me a lot of satisfaction. It's a senior role (a member of the Senior Management Team) and I manage a team of 15. I'm good at my job, have a great team and get on well with my colleagues who respect me. Each year I receive good annual reviews and have won a number of awards in my sector.

The major challenge I have is that I just don't 'connect' with my manager, our Director, and it's causing a range of difficulties. We don't get on and seem to 'speak a different language'. He's quite formal and cold and is well known to have a strong preference for posh public school types of which I am not!

I generally don't think he likes me. He communicates with me when he needs to but would never speak to me casually and ignores me if he sees me outside our office building. He has no interest in me as a person either - I've worked with him for 6 years and he knows nothing about me personally. He does get on with others in his management team with whom he has a closer relationship.

I'm grown up enough to know that I don't need to be my manager's friend. But I think his view of me means that he has no interest in my career or professional development, doesn't put me forward for any opportunities, treats me as more junior than I am and can be dismissive in his communication with me. He almost rarely acknowledges good work (even when I won a national award) and I don't feel he champions me. I'm also having issues with the volume of work - now doing 50-60 hours/week and despite conversations with him about workload, he doesn't really seem to care.

I've been in the same role without a pay raise for 5 years (I'm at top of my grade) and while it's hard to move up in the organization I don't think he'll do anything to help further my career.

So all in all it's a good job but with a shitty manager who is never going to champion me. Would this be a dealbreaker for you? Interested in getting objective view points and don't want to bother my friends about this!

From the information you have given it would seem that you have worked with him for the whole time you have been there (or in that role) so that makes me think that something has happened recently to make you think about leaving - what was it? Has someone else left or been promoted, was it the lack of recognition about the national award (well done on that, BTW!) or something else?

HI Cotswold I'm just getting a bit tired of working for a thankless manager and not seeing any promotion while I see others getting opportunities. He didn't appoint me (came in a year or so after I started) and I think after many years I'm a bit worn down.

Would this bother you or would you soldier on?

I would look elsewhere. If you're looking to develop you're clearly not going to get that where you are.

I would probably start looking around tbh (and have left one job in the past due to a poor manager!). It is a long time to work with someone and not make any headway, which is why I was wondering what had happened recently to make you think about moving on.

My DH has recently been approached about a job change within his company - it has been noted, apparently, that his whole section is a bit low on morale at the moment and that is partly down to a similar reason to yours, I think. So annoying when it becomes a bit of a company in-joke but nothing is done about the cause!

If you do decide to look around, good luck with the job search

It sounds to me like you are ready for a change. Working harder with a heavier workload, no pay rise in five years and a boss who can't even acknowledge you in the street are pretty good grounds for looking elsewhere.

It sounds like you are very good at what you do. How about stepping up to a similar role to his in a different organisation.

Jobs can be very hard or an absolute delight depending on who you work for.

Your situation sounds demoralising, nothing you can do will ever be enough. He has clearly decided not to invest in the relationship and shows no interest in your development or workplace well-being.

A good manager with people skills would find common ground even if they may naturally gravitate towards certain members of a team. There is nothing worse than someone actively showing disdain especially when you work for them!

Nothing you've said gives me any confidence that you can change his attitude, the more you do for him, the less you'll be appreciated.

No pay rise in five years seems to me like he's hinting that he wants you to leave on your own accord. However, that he doesn't speak to you casually doesn't necessarily mean that he doesn't like your work. Neither the fact that he doesn't openly acknowledge good work, some people just don't (sad as that may be). Is there any way you could delegate work to people within your team to cut down the workload on your own? If you work 60 hours it's time to suggest taking in an extra hand, or shift work onto the others in the group, or take steps to find out if it's possible to create some shortcuts. As for promotion, there might not be any opportunities that are open, and in that case you wouldn't hear about any suggestions either. Is the manager about to leave? In that case you could decide to hang on, otherwise it might be a good idea to look around since you've now been there for a couple of years. Also you might think about what it is that the other people on the management team are doing differently to you, obviously things that makes it easier for them to get on with your manager. No need to comment on any of this here on this open web board though.

Sounds like you're being badly managed and have hit a glass ceiling - look elsewhere if you want to move upwards.

wonder if he feels a bit intimidated by your ability? You're clearly very able.

The not speaking to you mightn't be personal. He might just have poor people skills. There probably a whole heap of people he's crap with.

How do others find him?

Thanks for everyone's comments. Rhubarbz most people find my Direcctor quite awkward personally but he'll turn on the charm for senior staff or donors. His focus is on looking 'above' not 'below' so he doesn't engage much with the staff he manages. He's not the best manager with no sense of my work programme, no interest in my professional development or work life. He is a snob though with a real predeliction for staff with public school backgrounds and a particular way of acting/behaving/talking which he reads as 'professional'. It's all very old school. As you can see from the sounds of it, I'm a bit fed up!