Support for employee after miscarriage

[Brokenbiscuit]

One of my team has very sadly miscarried her baby. If this has happened to you, what support, if any, would you have liked from your line manager? Is there anything that they did that was not helpful?

I have already told the employee to take as much time as she needs and not feel under pressure to come back to work before she is ready. It's what to do when she does come back that I'm unsure about. If anyone has any suggestions about how I can help her through, they would be gratefully received.

I don't have any advice for you I'm afraid, but I thought I'd post any way, in order to bump it up, but also to commend you on posting. You sound like a really supportive and compassionate manager. I wish there were more like you! Hope all goes well when she returns to work.

You sound like a very kind manager. I'd ask what she'd like her colleagues to know, will she want them to know what's happened or come up with a cover story.
I'd consider the due date & ensure she can have time off around there if she wishes to. If any other pregnancies are about to be announced I'd consider, obviously with the persons permission, telling her privately so she can get her game face on in front of colleagues rather than taken by surprise.
After one of my losses I lost a lot of blood & it took me along time to physically be back to normal so would of appreciated a bit of slack around that.

Hi Brokenbiscuit What a lovely line manager you are.

I lost two babies last year, and I am still struggling hugely. My old and new line managers have both been utterly wonderful. Now and again they ask me if I can spare 5/10 mins and they take me into a meeting room just to ask how I am. My latest line manager also lost a baby last year so he has experience in this kind of pain, sadly.
My previous line manager (in same dept) took me into a meeting room yesterday to tell me in private that a colleague is pregnant.
He knows other pregnancies are my biggest trigger (I've developed PTSD) and he said if I need to go home, or whatever it is I want to do then I should.
I decided to stay at work as she wasn't actually in the office yesterday, but to know I can just leave whenever I need to is a great comfort.

The best you can do is just be there for her, let her know if she wants to chat she can. If you are worried about what to say and what not to say, The Miscarriage Association have a fantastic campaign at the moment called 'Simply Say'. I would think most are obvious, but it may be worth a look if you haven't ever experienced anything like this yourself.
www.miscarriageassociation.org.uk/your-feelings/simply-say/simply-say-resources/

There is also a leaflet here which might be helpful:
www.miscarriageassociation.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2016/10/Someone-You-Know.pdf

Your support sounds great. Just a word of caution though-make sure what you're offering her in terms of time off is in line with company policy (if there is such a thing)-I know someone who had cancer and was told to take as long as she needed-which was lovely, but no one told hr and she ended up being overpaid (she should have gone into half pay after a certain period) and had to pay the money back.

You sound like a lovely manager. Much like my super supportive manager who helped me deal with our loss.

Take her lead on what to tell colleagues - I found it helpful to have someone else tell them rather than it be me. And if there are other pregnancies to be announced just give her a heads' up after checking with the pregnant person as pp have said.

Apart from that all sounds good.

I had a late missed miscarriage 4 years ago and was in a very bad way. My work at the time were amazing. I asked if they could tell people for me so I wouldn't have to. I finally went back too soon after 5 weeks and after a couple of days was told to go back home as I was not ready.
What helped me then was popping in for coffee a couple of times to say a quick hello before going back a few weeks later.
The only thing they did wrong in my opinion was telling everyone they were not to contact me. I might have appreciated a few texts to see how I was. I totally understand their reasoning for doing this though and I didnt think bad of them for it.