Co workers conflict

[Mary8112]

Hello there,a bit of a long one but will try to stick to the point.
Have been working for this retail company for about 6 months now and I have one particular coworker that I have worked pretty much every week with,much older and much more experienced than I am.He has helped me learn the ropes and I have been more than grateful saying thank you,showing respect and praising in front of other coworkers/managers.I am generally happy to follow his lead but I do not like his approach to work,he will do the minimum so that he isn't pulled on his performance but will not pitch in at busier times or when we are short staffed.He has often slated our line manager in front of me trying to push me to take his side and I avoided going in this kind of conversation and once told him directly I will not kick the manager behind his back as he suggested as I have no problem with him.Also seen my coworker sabotage the manager's work when doing stock counts,the manager missed a cage coworker came and showed me at the end of shift and when I tried to go tell the manager he said not to do it as the manager should not get a gold medal on his back and unfortunately I was scared to go as I was quite new there,still temporary and worried the older colleague will push me out of job.
So older colleague has tried to put me in my place several times through rude remarks(sort of do not speak/think just do what you are paid for)or to stop me from doing anything more than strictly my job description such as helping other colleagues after I finished my tasks(I have received help and support myself from other colleagues and manager when my workload was too big).On last shift he suggested we did some work together that was not a priority but another colleague that has helped me in the past was a bit behind so I went there to help instead.Older colleague got angry with me and when I tried to defuse the situation he was rude to me and I snapped back and shouted that what he says in unfair.Manager overheard us but did not interfere.How do I patch this up without letting my coworker walk all over me?Thanks for any input.

I would be inclined to be pretty straight with him, and say that you really appreciate him showing you the ropes in the first place and so forth, but you feel comfortable you know what you are doing now, so are happy to make decisions about work things yourself. Let him know you are not prepared to be spoken to rudely, nor the other things to do with taking sides in disagreements, etc. and if that happens again you will take it up with your Manager / HR / whoever it seems appropriate to take it to. Finish with something along the lines of 'hopefully we can put it behind us and carry on getting on, and working alongside each other as colleagues.

This coworker sounds like a problem personality. I wouldn't confront them directly. It will only end badly, and they are unlikely to change on your say-so.

Document all the things you've mentioned here plus dates and take the matter to your manager. Deal with it through official reporting lines and say you are worried about confronting the person because you want to remain professional. And you also want to have good cooperation with them but you are finding it difficult.

Thank you so much for your replies.I would like to speak with him straight but I am worried as he can be quite intimidating at times and probably won't change his attitude but try to put me down more and if I speak with the manager it's my word against my colleague's word,I have been there half year and said colleague about 6-7 years,manager and a few other colleagues similarly over 5 years so they know each other far better,not sure what my chances are of being believed.I will give it a try and speak first to said colleague and then manager.
I think probably best to start looking quietly what other job opportunities are out there just in case,which is a pity as it's a good company and I enjoyed the fast pace there.

So,if anyone still has patience and good will to reply...here comes the up date.Spoke to the manager,told him older colleague is trying to impose his work attitude on me and I will not accept it,explained the whole 'don't do this or this is not your job,let them do it' or 'don't think,do what you're told'approach the colleague has and it wasn't something new for manager.He was supportive and said to do my bit which was apologise for the snap itself and the manager had a chat with colleague.I did not mention to the manager the slating or undermining as I have no proof of it,should I have told?
Now I approached colleague to try and speak to him and he just said who,what,when,I don't know anything about it and I don't have any problem,maybe you do!! And he told the team members I reported him and God knows what else so now I am receiving threatening glares,keep hearing nasty jokes around me about colleagues reporting each other etc.
Realistically speaking do I have a chance of turning this round and keeping the job a bit longer or do I start running?thank you.

He wants to be a manager. He's not, and it seems he's delighted to throw his weight around with you (which is grossly dysfunctional and shows why he ought not to be a manager). Tell your real manager that this guy is undermining you and undermining the manager.

The manager put you in this position, chose an inappropriate and dysfunctional mentor, and needs to step up and deal with the problems s/he created by getting this guy (a) to show you the ropes and (b) not making it clear that a mentor is a temporary position, and is definitely NOT a line manager!!

Does your company have a Bullying and Retaliation policy?

If so I would read up on what it says about Retaliation, how it recommends the employee should respond to Retaliation and next steps plus repercussions for the perpetrator.

Even if your company policy doesn't include Retaliation (sometimes it's included within a whistleblowing policy), take the above information back to your manager. You've reached the stage where your colleague's behaviour is affecting your ability to do your job. It needs to stop, but you will need to keep it all calm and factual as before. And again reiterate that you genuinely want to move forward positively with the colleague but he doesn't seem ready to do so, and therefore you need your manager to help.