No Wedding Card from work - Would you be bothered?

[mrman1985]

I have probably posted in the wrong section so apologies but I am new to this site and could not find the correct one.

I wanted to get peoples views on my current situation. I work in an office of around 18 people. I got married at the weekend. I invited 5 people but only 1 could make it and I received a card and gifts from 3 of them.

In the past whenever there has been a wedding in the office there has been a collection and a card gone around. I have always put in even when I don't really talk to that particular person as I felt it was the right thing to do. How ever I have been back in the office for a couple of days and not even received a card. I genuinely am not bothered about a present but feel disappointed and hurt that my office has not even bothered to get me a card. I have worked here 4 years and never looked for another job but now I feel like I am either not liked or work with the type of people who I do not want to work with if they are willing to exclude somebody like the way I feel they have done to me.

I would appreciate peoples thoughts on if they think I have a point or am I being too sensitive and maybe have the post wedding blues?

Thank you

I would be hurt that they hadn't either, especially if they had done it for previous weddings. I remember years ago when I was going on maternity leave with my first DC, no one collected for me or even got me a card, even though a girl had gone off the month before and received a huge card, money and outfits for her baby and shopping vouchers for herself. I just finished work and went home on my last day with nothing. Also got nothing for my 21st either even though someone else did. After that I just refused to put into any collections and never gave my reason why.

YANBU especially as they had done it for others in the past.

At my place there is the admin lady who arranges a big office whip round for any of her mates that are going on maternity or if it is their birthday. She doesn't bother if it is anyone elses

Yes it was a bit 'off' but actually do you like your colleagues anyway?

This sort of thing does bother me but depends on a number of factors. I'd only been in the job for 3 weeks when I got a present from work but was given cheap smellies so they shouldn't have bothered. For one job I hated they gave me masses of presents. For a job I loved and thought I was popular I got nada! Best to not expect anything from colleagues!

I don't know, maybe some people felt a bit strange contributing because they weren't invited to the celebration when some of there colleagues were?

Yes as you invited a number of them and they did their own thing they wouldn't be organising a group thing. It would usually be a close work colleague who'd organise a group collection but in your case they didn't as they did their own thing.

I stopped contributing to office collections a long time ago after years of seeing cruel inconsistencies. At its worst, popular people get huge lavish personal thoughtful gifts and a fuss made/desk decorated/funny heartfelt speech, unpopular get a quick and awkward congrats with card, minimal voucher followed by everyone slinking away. I have in the past had to substantially top up gifts when an embarrassing amount was collected. Totally inappropriate for the work place.

I'm in a new workplace now and they only do small collections (for cakes etc) and a card and it is much better.