Without Prejudice question about a reference

[tiggersdontlikehoney]

Hi can anyone help

Have gone on sick leave due to MH/depression problems, made worse by my line manager's approach to them, and bullying from another team.

Have spoken to union rep and they have advised they can help with a formal process but I don't feel able to go through one.

What I would love to do, all I want to do really, is just leave - I have enough savings to live on for 6 months, and a good skill set.

However - am very concerned about not getting a reference, or one where my current employer puts in stuff that means I don't get another job.

I know the organisation has paid people off with references before - but this has been where they asked the employee to leave and offered a package including a reference.

I understand I could offer to leave but do it confidentially, it is called Without Prejudice?

What I'm wondering is, what do I need to do - and what happens if it doesn't work, and is held against me. The worst case scenario here is that I end up feeling I've no choice but to resign, and then have no reference to move to another equivalent role - at which point I'm screwed.

I'm the only wager earner, so if I don't get this right basically we have no income, it's frightening.

The term "Without Prejudice" is generally used in the context of negotiating a Settlement Agreement where anything discussed in that "protected conversation" cannot later be used in a Tribunal, and it often includes a reference.

The way I've understood your OP, is that you want to use the "Without Prejudice" as a way of signalling you'll resign if they give you a reference, apart from that I'm not sure why it would be relevant. If you're planning to resign, they'll know that the minute you start to talk about the reference, and they are still at liberty not to give one. It isn't a contractual obligation, although it does need to be factual.

That said, if you ask them nicely for just your dates of employment and job title, they should hopefully cooperate.

Maybe go to HR if your boss is completely unapproachable

Thank you.

Yes that is kind of what I had in mind.

So you wouldn't just send something headed Without Prejudice, asking to leave with a reference.

The issue is I don't trust my boss - and if a request is made, they could pass it to her so she might still be the one providing the reference. Everything she is doing seems designed to attack me before (if) I raise a grievance against her. The union have advised me to do that - but it seems like career suicide as I assume I wouldn't then get a reference at all.

I just don't want to not be able to get a new job because I have no/bad reference.

Is there any other way to do it?

I would raise a grievance and use HR as a reference. Before you leave, tell HR that due to the grievance it is not appropriate for your manager to write the reference and that you are asking them to do it instead. Remember that they can only write a factual reference and you can use a SAR to see what reference was written if necessary.

Thank you, that makes sense