Work help!!!

[Charliechalk707]

Hi All,
This is my first ever post here so hope I am doing it right, I don't know a lot of the abbreviations either, sorry.

I am really hoping that I can get some advice from all of you as I am at a complete loss with what to do and am feeling quite low and out today.
I have 2 beautiful boys who are 20 and 7 months old (13 months apart). I went on maternity leave for my first son and after having to return for a few weeks, have been on maternity leave since and obviously on maternity pay, which is now starting to hit a little hard. Having had a really good job as an admin assistant and being paid well for this, I will be leaving very soon as we cannot afford childcare to cover my working hours. We are now in a position where my last maternity payment was this month and my lovely partner isn't able to cover all the household bills and my direct debits without me having a wage very soon.
I am currently still breastfeeding my younger son, which after not being able to do with my eldest, I really do not want to interfere with or have to pump or stop doing and has left me in the mind that I need a role I can do from home.
I feel I have no specific skills to offer anyone really. I buy but have no idea how to use make-up, have sensitive skin so can't use most products and after hours of research have seen that a lot of the catalogue jobs don't pay as well as we need them to.
We were lucky enough to purchase our first home last year and in order to cover everything I need to make around £200 -£250 a week if at all possible.

My question is... can anyone give any advice on what to look for, where to look and any ideas on what a unconfident, skill limited and mum desperate to be a mummy to her children can do that means I can raise my boys myself but still be able to sleep at night and not have to be so worried about money or have to work night shifts to limit feeding time absence ? (Big ask I know).

Sorry for the size of my ramble, my head is spinning today and I am in desperate need of some clarity.
Thank you
Xxx

If you've been an admin assistant you're sure to have skills - diary or office or budget management? Word processing/typing, excel/data entry, some website editing or proofreading? What type of company did you work in? You probably have some good sector-specific knowledge there too. Could you go back part time/compressed hours and manage childcare costs for that? e.g. work 1pm-8pm and then only have to pay half a day childcare and have your partner pick your children up?

When does your partner work? Could you work an evening job in e.g. a supermarket or waitressing/bartending for a few hours once they are home, say 6-10? How about some babysitting? You would have to pump.

Things people I know have done to earn money WFH:

• delivering catalogues or leaflets
• remote call centre shifts
• freelance bookkeeping
• childminding
• ironing service

Is cutting down an option? Are you entitled to any benefits?

Don't forget that if you are being paid gross amounts you'll need to register as self-employed and complete tax returns every year. At £200 a week you wouldn't have any tax bill, but you might have to pay NI and any more than £200 might be liable for tax as well.

Thank you so much for your message and suggestions, I'm having a look into them.
I am use to an office based role within a university department. They are very supportive but not able to accommodate my circumstances unfortunately. I live over an hour away due to house prices and that makes things a little more awkward.
My boyfriend is a sparky and out of the house for about 12 hrs a day again due to distance.
I am hoping to exhaust the wfh avenue first but had thought of an evening/night shift at a supermarket might fit with us easier if not.
I know that pumping is not a failure, but I tried everything I thought to be right with my eldest to breastfeed and at 3 weeks went to combination feeds and then onto formula full time at 4 Months and I felt such a failure and still do. I am so longing for that not to be the case second time round and have done everything I can to continue feeding my youngest and so far so good, I just feel it is a small failing to have to pump to feed him when we have come so far, silly I know.
I have been out of the office for nearly 2 years and am feeling out of touch and lost confidence with my abilities, especially to a new employer.
Again, thank you so much for your suggestions, I will try to see if I can get somewhere with one of them .

Have you handed in your notice yet? If not, could you use your contact days to re-familiarise yourself with your skills? I believe you get paid for them, and my friend has done all her contact days from home, so if you could get a babysitter/friend to look after your sons in the home while you work you could still breastfeed during the day. It might build your confidence up, even if you end up doing completely different work later on.

Also suggest making sure you have a copy of your job description/competencies for when you're updating your CV or applying for work.

Plus, do keep in mind that in a year your eldest will be entitled to free nursery hours and your youngest may have finished BF so you might decide to re-enter the workplace - is it worth making your current office known that you'll be available for temp/permanent work in x number of months and would be interested in hearing about any opportunities that come up? It sounds like you're held in high esteem.

PS your feelings about wanting to BF aren't silly, completely understandable and I'm sure lots of women would feel the same, especially after it not going smoothly with your eldest

You might be eligible for tax credits too, worth a check.

It might not be much help but given your previous experience you can get work online as a virtual admin/ PA. It doesn't even have to be UK based. Lots of people outsource this type of work.

It might mean you need to work evenings once the baby is in bed, but it means you won't have to pay any childcare costs.

Also as mentioned you will qualify for the free childcare spaces before you know it a you might then be able to work more in the day. Good luck.

I don't understand why working, albeit unsociable shifts, means you can't be a mummy to your children. And pumping breast milk is still breastfeeding.

Carework as an interim might be an idea.

Thank you so much for the advice chevrechevre, I hadn't thought about using some KIT days, I will see if it's something I could do. I will look into the tax credits when everything is sorted I think, I know we don't qualify right now.
I'm sure lots of women feel that way too, it seems a lot more common than I realised at the time. Just so happy to have got this far this time .
widowtocricket The virual PA sounds very interesting and could be the closest to my role now but from home, thank you so much, I will have a look into it and see what's involved .
JenniferYellowHat1980 Sorry I wasn't very clear with my meaning, I mean personally I feel I will not be able to be the mummy I am now if I am not with them during the day or around for the occasional night time wake up if I am out of the house working. I am just being a clingy mum and want to be their main carer instead of having them cared for. Just my personal feeling in our circumstance is all.
There is nothing wrong with pumping at all, and I did this for 4 months with my eldest son and for me I found it very stressful as the whole breastfeeding with him was a flop. I decided this time round I wanted my baby and body to do it as naturally as possible and I haven't had to pump so far which I am over the moon about. The idea of pumping just takes me back to the failing I felt with my eldest son and the feelings at that time, which I know is all in my head. I try very hard not to put pressure in myself with feeding but sometimes it's easier said than done lol.
Feilin Thank you, i had thought about it and had seen a few adverts. It's definitely something im keeping in mind
Xxxx

Have you tried online shopper/picker roles with supermarkets? Hours are generally 4am till 9am so your DP could drop the DCs to childcare and you'll be able to pick them up at lunch time?

Well I don't feel remotely like I failed when I used a breast pump, or that I am any less of a mummy by working. I don't think you can afford that luxury and in my view you either need to reduce your outgoings or get a job involving lower childcare costs - as a PP suggested, care work might be the answer.

I haven't looked into that tissuesosoft but it could be a definite option. Thank you so much for your help and suggestion . I will see what is available in my area.
JenniferYellowHat1980, you are brilliant to have been able to have pumped and continued to have fed your little one that, and should I need to I will try to do the same, I however feel that for me personally after having had breastfeeding fail after a lot of issues, i have been left to feel insecure with my feeding from day 1 and I have gotten where I am with my youngest son through hard work mentally, physically and determination to do it my way (despite not all the people in my life agreeing) . i was in no way trying to suggest that you or any monther is any less of a mummy because they work, sorry if thats what you have felt I meant. Thank you for your opinions and suggestions, I will keep these in mind.

@Charliechalk707 I think what Jennifer is patiently trying to say is that it's admirable to want those things but unfortunately you can't afford it. You need a job and money so something has to give.

Honestly, you sound like you want the moon on a stick. I'm amazed that you've got to his point without some sort of plan as to how you're going to manage to pay your mortgage and living costs. It's all very well to want to be the 'perfect mummy' that you've built up in your mind but I'd suggest that keeping a roof over your child's head and having money to look after them is more important that being able to directly breastfeed at this point.

You need to look for work, urgently. Given that you've no cheap childcare options then night shifts likely to be your best bet initially.

Sorry if you think I'm being harsh but you need a reality check.

You're welcome OP, bonus with working in a supermarket is you get a discount! If you have a Waitrose try there, they're a great company to work for

Childminding? Childminding would mean you could stay at home but it would take time to build up a reputation and clients. You are also limited in numbers you can take of certain ages as your own DC count. I think realistically it would take a while to earn £800-£1250 a month doing anything at home.

Agree with welshweasel....there is a gulf between what you would like and what you actually need to do. I think you need to start job-hunting now and be proactive in your search. The job application process can take ages (seeking references, doing checks etc) so you need to be applying now.

I completely agree, like all mums I'm sure, I would love nothing more than to be a home mum and never miss a second but unfortunately that's not the case or possible. I thought here would be a brilliant place for some suggestions and really do appreciate everyone's support and suggestions, this is a wonderful resource and it's great to get other mums experiences .
I have always planned on going into an evening job after leaving my current role to help with childcare but as you say had hoped to have it all if there was any way of doing it. I know the chances are that I will need to leave the house to work but was hoping there may have been a way to be with my babies (overbearing I know). It was always a long shot but you never know if you don't put it out there and maybe that one suggestion someone made that I hadn't looked into could be it . I completely see where your coming from and don't take it as harsh, I would think the same if I read my post elsewhere.
I will look into the supermarket hours, not sure if there is a local Waitrose but it sounds good.
Childminding could be an option too. I never used it and it's 14 years old now but I have a btec diploma in childcare which with a refresher could work in my favour. Thank you so much.
I am looking into vacancies and am seeing someone at my local Job centre on Monday. That and all the brilliant suggestions I have received have given me a lot more hope and fingers crossed all will turn good sooner than thought .
Thank you so much everyone, ALL comments are helpful and I really appreciate them 😘

Thank you very much, that is great x