Some advice please on tit of a boss!

[Tippytoes]

I am due to go off on maternity leave at the end of April.

We were going to get a temp in to cover me part time only as the work has dried up a bit, I do full time at present but hope to come back part time.

Anyway, the other lady I work with who is part time has decided that she will work full time for the 9 months that I am off to cover both of our jobs.

My boss is not a very nice man and slowly bur surely the other lady is beginning to wonder what she has let herself in for and could possibly change her mind. I said that we would need to know sooner rather than later in order to organise a temp.

Anyway, I had a little word with said boss yesterday as he had been upsetting me a bit with various things and I told him that I could see the other lady turning round and saying she is not going to do it, based on his behaviour recently.

He replied that if she did that, he would make her life hell! (he already makes my life this way)

I went home in tears yesterday as I just don't think you can talk about someone like that - what do you think?

Tippytoes I wanted to offer my sympathies, I worked for a really awful boss while pregnant, tried his best to make my life hell as well. I'm so glad I'm on mat leave now.

Do you think you'll go back afterwards? You know, if they're only paying you SMP, and you decide not to go back / to get a different job, you don't have to pay a penny back. This certainly helped me while I was in work; whenever he acted like a d*head I reminded myself, "I don't have to come back here, I can get a different job".

{{{hugs}}} and I hope someone comes along who can offer you some decent advice.

Thanks Mossie. I am seriously thinking of not coming back to be honest and I will start looking around December time as I would be due back in work February next year.

Feel sorry for the other lady I work here being stuck with him by herself, so think she may start looking for another job too, and she has worked here for 25 years! But she doesn't actually work for the same boss as me, but will be shared between them while I am off.

It's horrible isn't it? I hated it, I felt like it stopped me enjoying my pregnancy as well to some extent.

I don't know if it is practical financially for you but is there any way you could bring your maternity leave forward at all? When are you due to go off? If I'd been able to afford it I would have left at about 32 weeks rather than 36, would have prefered being bored at home to being treated like crap at work!

I feel exactly the same, haven't enjoyed this pregnancy at all (it is my second - have a little boy of 5).

I am already leaving early, as not due until June and I had my ds 5 weeks early, so wanted to take at least that amount of time off beforehand and also I am entitled to all of my year's holidays as I won't be back in the same year, so am taking 3 weeks of holidays before the 5 weeks maternity too.

Also it wouldn't be fair on the other lady to suddently say, right you will have to start full time earlier than you thought.

He actually pressurised me to tell him exactly what dates I would be leaving on a long time ago - wish I hadn't told him about being pregnant so soon, he seemed to think it was his right to demand answers to things, even though legally he didn't even have to know about pregnancy by then.

I worked her when I had my ds five years ago and he wasn't quite the same then, he was ok about it - maybe he is having a mid life crisis!

He sounds horrible. Maybe it is the new maternity rules as well, you get longer off if you're due after April 1st (I miss out by four days!) and I think some bosses are resentful.

He sounds horrible, I hope you get something else before you have to go back.

He is resentful of ANY time I have off over maternity - never mind the extra time when new rules come in.

He has even said to my face he thinks it is a disgrace what the government entitles us women to, and that he would NEVER employ anyone of child-bearing age again.

We had a lady work here about 5 years ago who came back after maternity leave and then left a month or so later as she found it wasn't working well for her - he called her a bitch! to me for leaving!

What kind of company do you work for - do you not have official code of conduct type stuff, and do you have a personnel dept? I'd be tempted to put in a complaint about his behaviour, it's bullying to threaten to make someone's life hell, and no-one should have to put up with that.

I made an official complaint about my boss when first pg - (but he was a full on stalker mentalist) - and there were clear guidelines about behaviour that meant the was dismissed on 9 counts of harrassment. You wouldn't need to take it as far as that obv, but if you don't want to go back anyway, if its possible it'd be worth pointing this all out to someone.

if his behaviour compromises him covering your post whilst you're off won't that be his problem? is it something you will be affected by or can you just let him make an arse of it all?

I work for a small office, which is part of a larger company, so yes there would be something I could do, re complaining, but feel it would make it an even more horrid place to work (that is if I come back!), but I have started over the last few months documenting everything that I consider he says 'wrong'.

I would love the other lady to turn round and say she won't do it, but I would hate to see her being treated so badly, like I am and would not wish that upon her.

She wishes she had never agreed to it, but doesn't see how she can now get out of it as this late stage without him going off on one. And believe me, he will make her life hell for the 9 months - he isn't just saying it, he means it.

I meant he will make her life hell for the 9 months that I am not around, then he will probably go back to doing it to me instead.

Time for a new job I think!

I think if things are this bad, then when you have a new baby the last thing you'll want to do is go back into that environmnet. A new job is definitely a good idea.

In your situation i think i'd find out who to speak to in personnel, take you list of complaints, and ask for an unofficial off the record chat. They'll advise about what they could actually do, how they could support whoever is left.

Would it be worth also discussing this with the woman who is covering your post, seeing if she wants to do the same, or be left out of it.

That way, they're aware, and if he starts bullying her, she has a contact at head office who is aware of the situation. Then, things shouldnt' get worse, as if they do, the company have a duty to intervene.

I hate bullies, i really believe the only way to deal with them is to stand up to them, and there are policies in place to stop this happening.

I didn't complain for so long, and it took my boss physically pinning me to a wall before i realised that i had to do something.

If I'd complained about my boss, he would have made my life even more hell, which I didn't need, especially being heavily pregnant. So I understand if you don't want to complain, although as Boco says it is probably what you should do, iyswim.

I too kept a log of everything. Although it was more as an "insurance policy" in case they tried to get rid of me while I was pregnant, or during my maternity leave.

I stood up to him as best as I could; I even managed him to force him to reduce my hours from 48 to 42 in my last month there, without reducing my basic pay (although I could no longer earn full commission). But it's hard especially the more heavily pregnant you get, and the more hormonal.

If it were me, and I appreciate your situation may be different, I would make your mind up now, before you even finish, as to whether you want to go back there. There are better companies out there, nicer bosses, etc, you're not trapped in that job. And if you do decide that, it will make your time there easier, as you know you won't have to go back. I know it will be hard on the other woman but it is about you and your pregnancy.

Congratulations on your pregnancy btw, it's easy to lose sight of things like that sometimes!

Thanks for your advice - I will definately be on the look out while I am on maternity leave, as ideally I would like p/t when I return anyway.

This is definately an option here as there isn't as much work as there used to be, but to be honest, you are right, I need to happier than this especially when I have a baby and a 5 year old to look after.

I want to start looking now, but obviously I know I can't, but have had a look to see what is out there and there are a few p/t jobs like mine so hopefully something will come along.

I think if I don't return to work here, the other lady will drop back to part time (this is the arrangement she wants) and back to the other boss permanently which would be ok for her. That is if she sticks it out that long while covering for me!