Friends v colleagues

[GaynorGoodwin]

I work in an all female office and feel I get along with most of them, but tbh if I never saw most of them again, I'd not particularly care. There is one I work alongside with that I'd definitely want to keep in touch with but everyone else I'm not too fussed.

Is this normal to feel like this? Thanks, sorry I'm really not a miserable person but I do like to keep away from any cliques.

Yes.

Yes absolutely and I think more people should realise this.

I work in a large office and there are days when its like working in a primary school, "I'm not friends with her anymore, she said something nasty to me, I don't want to sit near her anymore."

Winds me right up!

Perfectly normal.
I'd say I'm friends with 2 people at work who I'd see out of work. I can't be bothered with friendship politics.

At my last place of work I had a good group of friends. I quite miss that element of it.

I have a few friends I made through work (although we both left - still friends though).

I like the people I currently work with but would have zero desire to see them outside of work.

Yes. It is like anything you belong to - some people you'll like, a lot, most you can rub along with / be pleasant to, and some you'd rather not have to have anything to do with.
There is no expectation to be close friends with a person just because you work for the same organisation.

I like almost everyone in my team, but they are still 'work colleagues' rather than 'bosom pals'. We all have our lives outside of work.

yes, totally normal. I reckon each of the jobs I've had has led to 1 or 2 lifelong friendships, the rest of the people I'd don't care if I never saw them again.

Worked with same people in large organisation, different roles, some for 5 years, a few for 24 years. Knew each other growing up, been to their weddings, celebrated children, divorces, big birthdays, etc etc

We all eventually were made redundant between 3-5 years ago, and we have a reunion every year where we catch up and the conversation is comfortable and flows.

Everyone goes on about how close and special our bond is and how we will keep meeting every year, but between meetings no one even talks to each other! To be honest, it all seems a bit fake and I could take or leave them, they are ex work colleagues, and although we care about each other we wouldn't turn to each other if we were in need. Just a load of people who had a workplace in common once upon a time.

Yes completely

I try to get on with everyone but have been stung too many times to think that anyone is my friend.

I met one of my best friends through work, but we met when working on different wards to each other.

Now We work on the same ward. It's more difficult when we have to work together as I hear others gossiping about her which I don't get involved in (my friend is never bitchy and would be devastated to know people are back biting).

Also I'm more junior than my friend and find it hard to say no when she asks me to do a task & im already busy for example.. I find it best when I don't work with her directly.

Another work friend is lovely but at work I find the way she works quite irritating & I have to bite my tongue at times.

I do have work friends I see outside work & get on well with most of my colleagues but I don't trust all of them. Also a couple I don't think are good at their jobs which makes things difficult.

Been burnt too many times now. I choose who i'm friends with carefully anyway.

Stupidly let my guard down again in a new job . Never worked in a very small, female only office before. All seemed very nice and supportive.

Ended up being stuck in the middle of a divide and management irreparably damaged two of my working relationships (two girls I got along really well with and could see us being friends) by breaking my confidence and twisting words said in a one on one meeting with her.

Quite gutted, but not happening again because I won't let it.

Yes, everywhere I've worked there have been a lot of people I've got on with, in some cases we have been very good friends at the time (going to weddings etc) but it rarely sustains one or other leaving the organisation. I went to a colleague's wedding recently, having known her for 2 years, we were sitting with her old school friends. While chatting it became apparent that while we knew every detail of her recent day to day life including house move and wedding prep, we knew nothing of her earlier life and family. Whereas it was the other way round for the school friends living a long way away and it's that in depth stuff that sustains friendships. From 4 long term jobs over 20+ years I only meet regularly with three former colleagues. Keep in touch with many on FB and see some around from time to time but you couldn't really call those friends.

Sometimes when you a leave a place the one you thought you'd stay in touch with you don't but you do with someone who was almost only a peripheral friend/colleague.

Its totally normal. And sensible.

I met my best friend at work. But i wasnt looking for a friendship. Just rubbing along ok was enough.

A friendship developed over years. Not pursued as such