Unemployable SAHM. Any advice?

[Bobbinbora]

I'm new here. And was hoping for some advice please. I can't seem to get a job since leaving my previous job after maternity leave. I've been a SAHM for 3.5 years.
I've applied for all kinds of jobs in my field and the feedback I have had goes a bit like this..

1. you've been unemployed for years
2. you have no recent experience of the job
3. you're too junior for this role (applying at management level)
4. you're too experienced for this role (applying for an exec level role)
5. you're too creative for this role
6. you'll get bored of this job
7. it's a risk employing you due to the lack of recent experience

And today's feedback was

8. we've decided to choose someone who is more committed to the role (i.e no children)

How on earth do people get jobs after being a SAHM? How do people pick themselves up after constant rejection?

I feel absolutely shit. I work in design & marketing btw but have also applied for any admin roles.

My worst response was "why on earth should we employ someone who hasn't had a job for over 3 years"

Help!

nasreen I'm enjoying CAB. I went for a job there (not in my branch), made the shortlist but couldn't do the Excel task. Another shortcoming to fix! I've signed up to a course now to help plug that gap.

I think CAB is quite good actually. I found the training challenging without being too onerous, I'm quite good with people, like exactitude, and I'm brushing up on IT skills. Can't go wrong really. Been there a year now.

I'm not sure how many volunteers actually stick it out though. Quite a lot seem to fall by the wayside in my branch.

buggerthebotox I think I would struggle with an excel task too..what course have you signed up for? I was thinking of doing one of these ECDL courses, but can't afford to do it right now. I enjoy CAB too, been there since February this year. Love the challenge of dealing with different people and helping them find solutions to the issues they present. Just wish it was paid! Can't be doing any harm though, as you say, so many skills are learnt along the way.

Think it can be challenging. A few people on my training course, just couldn't get out there and deal with the presenting issues and a couple have stayed 'meet and greet'. I think it's good as you are never on your own, you always have a team leader to consult with (and of course the other advisors)

Do you submit a few portfolio pieces with your applications? Even fake pieces pulled together for the purpose of demonstrating what you could do for a specific industry.

nasreen I'm not sure which course I've signed up for. It's not online, though: I struggle with those. It cost £350 I think. Beginners'!.

The agency I'm doing it through has a decent reputation for providing skills to employers, though. Fingers crossed!

...meant to say sorry for the hijack, op.

There are some great courses on line free. And v cheap via groupon for it skills and google digital garage is good too.

bugger no worries! It's all interesting to me as I'd consider a career change but I can't even think of anything else I'm good at. I used to be great at Excel. Some businesses are now asking for people to be good with Google Docs as well which includes the Google version of Excel. It's only slightly different but my spreadsheet knowledge is rusty these days.

bump that's a good idea!

kitty I shall just keep on, keeping on.

thesandwich oh yes I have been meaning to start looking at Google Garage courses. And Google Academy.

I think there's more to it than just being a woman and being out for a couple of years. The whole landscape of work has changed.

A year or so ago, I covered a young lady who was on long term sick leave. From what I could see, she wasn't terribly good at the job and was a complete and utter flake. The company ended up making her redundant. I hear she has recently landed herself a job for £3k more than I could negotiate with my last job offer for a similar role. I have never managed to earn the salary she is on now. I have no idea how she does it but I can only assume that she interviews very well.

Similarly, I bumped into a guy who wrote for one of the London broadsheets who was being made redundant in his late forties.

All of the people being made redundant were being replaced by young graduates who were prepared to work for peanuts.

Experience just isn't valued. It seems to be far easier to walk out of university, bat your eyelashes and land yourself a job for £25k than it is to get that job with an ounce of experience.

It took me nearly a year to get my current job. I'd not worked 'properly' for 15 years after resigning when dh got posted to the States. When we came back to the UK I trained to be an antenatal teacher and did that part time for a few years, I did lots of volunteering including chairing the PTA and organising my children's sports club. About five years ago I started doing a very part time admin job - depressingly they'd had more than 40 applicants, all of whom were massively overqualified mothers. After doing that for a couple of years I decided I was ready to get a 'proper' job.

I applied for dozens of jobs, in a related field to what I'd been doing pre-dc. Like you I was simultaneously overqualified yet lacking recent experience and got rejected time and time again. It was soul-destroying and confidence-sapping... I'd just decided to give it one more month before coming up with a plan B when I got offered my current job. It's not perfect and I've started looking around for something else as there's no opportunity to progress but it's a start.

Volunteering and freelance work definitely help and thinking about how to answer competency questions using examples from across the entire spectrum of your experience is also worthwhile. Good luck!

At the age of 46 I've been working as an Administrator at a GP surgery for about 10 months. I was working in management accounts before children and had lots of part time work, volunteered in schools, worked as a TA and did a college course. I got this job as someone had left very suddenly and I didn't think I was right for it but it has stuck, and I am enjoying the job very much. I never thought I would get a permanent job again. I find it interesting challenging work. I'd been out of full time work for 12 years and had had many, many rejections.

Thanks for all the replies.

Since starting this thread I have become Google certified. Hopefully that'll help.

I was rejected for a volunteer role which was surprising.

Had a little cry today about the whole situation but have picked myself up and will just keep trying.

Its so hard. Keep going. Something will come up but I think there are many of us in the same boat and just assume that we will be written off and should be written off. You have to keep going.

Just keep trying. Keep looking and researching and applying. The right thing will come up at the right time. It always does.

Good luck

I was in tears so many times too due to same kind of situation. I left my 42k job to become sahm for 9 years. I have 3 kids. I actually feel quite lucky after teading this thread, I now have a 26k job doing something beneath my qualification and experience level. I am bored and hate part of the responsibilities where people treat like like s* but something is better than better nothing.

Hope you mums find something soon, it is just not right the way it is at the moment.

I'm applying for a basic admin job. Dropping from 30k to 10k (it's part time).

However I feel over qualified academically and underqualified experience wise. Surely they'll prefer someone in their 20s who left school but has years of proper admin experience over an ex teacher :(

User impressed at the 26k job. What did you do/are you doing now?

Well op the job I thought I had got (been told for 5 weeks to wait for the paperwork!) Turns out is no longer for me 😒. This is the 4th time I've waited for paperwork and then after weeks been told...ooopps sorry. I'm so cross and tonight I've cried buckets. It's the hardest thing I've ever had to do. Were not rich, we struggle each month and the difference it would make to us would be amazing. I don't think I can pick myself up many more times. It's just soul destroying but without trying nothing will change.

Oh Rinky that's awful! I'm so sorry.

I'm still no closer to finding employment. "Maternity leave", "career break" and "family" seem to be the ultimate keywords for rejection.

It all sounds so hard and I sympathise with you all and feel I will be in the same boat. Once the summer holidays are over I want to find something part time and temping would suit. I've stupidly run up some credit card debt (I know!). Searching online there just isn't much. I quite work 3 years ago when DD started school due to lack of flexibility from work and the pressure of the job was too much.
I have been volunteering at Cats Protection since the start of the year but need to turn some of that into CV blurb (can't put down cleaning up cat excrement and stroking cats as skills!)
Good luck all and I'll be interested to see how everyone gets on.

Rinkydinkypink Mega hug to you! At least someone were about to give you the job so you know you have the skills that people need, I know it's soul destroying going through this process but just keep trying. Fingers and toes crossed for you.

Pizzaexpressview I was an engineer now I am more of a customer services - although some people consider it is a technical role.

I get a lot of calls from recruitment agencies because of my experience but as soon as I mention "long career break", my current salary (which doesn't reflect my skills - a lot of them pause when I mention my current salary) they will not bother. It's awful, some will lie to you that they are going to send you the full job spec and forward your CV on but nothing happened. They can not admit that they don't want to forward my CV because they think I've got no chance of getting the job because of my career break.

Thanks ladies. It really helps! I think anyone who's manages children and a house and who really want to work and appreciate the opportunity is a complete catch!

It's comforting to know it's actually common for sahm's to be cast aside it's just such a shame this is happening so much. It makes me so cross!

I spoke to a recruiter today who was quite full of herself. she was scoffing her face whilst on the phone. It was disgusting!!

"Bobbin, Hi...... Om nom nom slurp. I have just seen your CV, Om nom nom slurp, and I must say - it's not very good. It needs to be at least 4 pages long, Om nom nom slurrrrrrrrrp"

I said "well other recruiters have advised me to keep my CV detailed but brief and yesterday a recruiter said my CV was perfect!"

"Bobbin, dear, you don't understand Om nom nom slurp, I am THE recruitment expert. Does that make sense?"

she was a twat but she has a job

She spoke like the whole recruitment industry would collapse if she quit. And told me my career gap was a "concern".

You must know someone in the field, or someone you could ask to do some "volunteering". Crap I know, but it's a foot in the door.

Otherwise, some further studying in your particular area, a Masters or some such, if it's affordable.

Often it's who you know, not what you know.

Be wary of the MA trap. I've done it yet still basically a receptionist 🙄

Bobbin I worked in recruitment for 10 years and have run employment and CV writing courses and can absolutely tell you that women today was an ass and a short CV is spot on, ideal length is max of 2 pages!!

The cover letter is always so important for me as well, and that can be a great way to address your gap in employment history, being a mum has a huge amount of transferable skills and a decent employer with recognise that!

Pop your Cv to all the agencies and online on Monster, Reed and Indeed and then personally I would just contact some companies that specialise in what you used to do and ask if there are any roles available or to hold your CV if there is, proactively looking is great, it can cost a lot for a company to recruit for a role, but if they already have your CV that will mean a lot!

Good luck!!