Stay or Find Real Job

[Gaviota6]

I have just retrained as an accountant (I was formerly an EFL and French teacher) and passed all my accountancy exams the first time round. For me this is a massive achievement as I really doubted I would be able for it. I have been lucky to receive proper on the job training from a local firm close to my home and am currently working part-time there. The problem? Money. In fact, my husband points out that until I earn proper money I am really only doing accountancy as a hobby! (Imagine that). In reality I am quite happy working where I am. We have our own business and to be honest my husband would not be too thrilled about having to chauffeur children around, cook, and do other housework if I did work full time ( which would also entail a one hour commute each way). My boss is very good and takes an interest in showing me new things and giving me varied jobs.

So the dilemma, stick with really low pay to build up my skills (remember, this is a second career and I am 49) or get a proper job elsewhere and put pressure on the home dynamic....???? Anyone who has been there?

I know this isn't the Relationship Board, but it sounds like the problem is more about your DHs awful attitude to your achievements and the fact he feels you're put on earth to do Wimins Work, not develop your career path in the way you see fit. I have to admit feeling reading your post.

Please don't give up the position you currently have if it brings you fulfilment. Your boss sounds like a diamond!

By the time you've taken on the costs of commute, childcare etc, plus the stress, you may be no better off.

Why not set up a time limit of one year and a program how to lift your skills even further, then at the same time go and look for ways to find an employment that pays better. The accountancy profession is about to change due to automation and you need to stay on top of those changes. Are there for instance any professional bodies you ought to be a member of, networks to be a member of, or accountancy magazines or web sites you ought to subscribe to, in order to keep on top of all the ongoing changes, or things you need to know if you want to run a business of your own. You could use part of your "spare time" to find out all of those things. Your new career will have to last for perhaps 15 years or more. Meanwhile you could stick to your new part-time job if you can afford to do it.

I was working a full time, but moderate pay job. It was not a stressful job and was in a friendly, small office. I wanted to earn more so I retrained and am earning significantly more. I must say it hasn't made me much happier and I feel the stress is affecting my physical and mental health and the kids are missing out on quality time. We have a nanny and some days both my husbands and I don't get home before the kids go to bed.

If I were you and money was not a huge problem I would stick to the present job.

Your husband's attitude is a problem though. Maybe if you can take a few days off to go away and let him handle his full time job + house work and school run, it will give him a glimpse of what it would be like if you worked a demanding, full time role.

Good luck whatever you decide.

Thanks very much for the suggestions. I will definitely take advantage of the professional association I am part of to keep up to date and stay on top of all the new changes coming up. I also think the one year limit is a good idea as experience is very important in accountancy and we handle a good variety of jobs where I am. I also agree that maybe I should do a couple full weeks in order to show DH that is is not a hobby and see how he copes!

So how would it work if you went for the 'big job' with full time hours and an hour commute. Would your DH do it for a while but complain so much you'd end up doing it all?

Do not underestimate a short commute and feeling happy/supported at work. Could you look for a second part time job? NHS and local government offer much more flexibility.

Well, if I got the big job we would have to get a third party in to help as I live away from my own family (in another country) and my in-laws, although they are very nice and supportive in other ways, don't do childminding!

DH runs our own company (which I play next to no role in) and likes to make all the business decisions on his own.

I would say a second job option would be the best idea!