Hate my job!!!

[Confused24]

Please help/tell me I'm going to be ok!!

I started working for my company part time with the aim of going back to uni, that was a decade ago and somehow I have now got stuck at Manager level! I am desperate for a career change but I don't want to be in management level! I want to become a legal secretary and have completed year one of a legal degree and have also started a legal secretary course. My hate for my job has snowballed in the last year and I have gone from hating my actual job to dispising customers, employees, my boss, the company and everything to do with it. I feel I'm stuck in a rut. As a manager people will question why I would take a 10k salary drop without a second glance and why i would take such a dramatic career change. Naturally I can't say I come home crying almost nightly, feel myself slipping into depression and feel nothing but hatred for everything to do with it so I'm going down the route of wanting to persue a career in the area my degree covers. I was considering staying and trying to conceive whilst I get the better maternity leave but it's getting to the point I cannot physically cope anymore. I have applied for jobs but only had one interview so far and I don't think it went very well. Can anyone please give me tips for cv writing, interviews, career changes and how to stop myself becoming a shell of myself whilst dealing with the god awful job I do now??

If you're thinking of having a baby I'd shelf the career change idea. Can you push the ttc forward, could you manage a few more months of the job?

I'm shelving having a baby. I can't cope mentally with my job anymore. I cried yesterday because I did over time with no pay, no acknowledgement and no break only to come home to be bugged by staff. I am not mentally in the right place to have a baby as I can't cope emotionally with work anymore. It's sad but I have gone from a very confident, happy outgoing person to someone who doesn't want to get out of bed, cries non stop and thinks daily of just walking out 😔

I hated my job and was working managing a team and crazy hours. Then I discovered I was 4 months pregnant, unplanned. It was an extremely stressful time but in hindsight, having now left that job because it simply wasn't compatible with a baby, I'm glad it happened like that as I would probably have struggled on for another few years. So my advice is to either ttc or simply leave your job. Could you manage without maternity pay?

Leave, just leave that is a joke. Don't let it go on any further. What's the financial situation like, can you take the hit?

You will be okay! What is it about your job that you hate so much? What you need to do is use the position you are in now to get you to where you want to be and it sounds as if you are doing this already by doing the courses/getting the qualifications you need to make the change.

What other people think about a move which will reduce your salary is irrelevant. I did the same - dropped a huge amount to get into the industry I wanted to work in - and actually found that a number of people were envious that I could "get out", as they were locked into management/big mortgages etc (city) and were slaves to their salary. Within 18 months my salary was back up to a good level as I had established myself in the area I wanted to (and was so happy!).

The negativity that you're feeling from your job sounds overwhelming and possibly affected the way you approached the interview but it was only one interview, so not that important, and you will get a job in the sector you want.

Why not put out some feelers to companies that you'd like to work for, or book some time with an agent who recruits for that sector to find out how you can best prepare for an interview and target the jobs that you want. They can also help you to shape your CV and interview technique.

Try to compartmentalise your job so that what's going on there doesn't seep into other areas of your life (easy to say and takes a lot of emotional strength). By making firm plans and an escape route, you will then feel so much better as you will feel more in control of what's going on and will be able to more forward. Good luck.

To add, is taking some time off to distance yourself from the source of this distress and allow yourself to formulate a plan an option?

Sounds truly awful.

Another thought: Could you temp in the legal sec role which gives you a chance to get out of where you are now and have an income, but also to try out various companies in terms of sector/size etc to narrow down where you want to end up?

Thank you all for taking the time to reply. I got myself in such a state the other night but I'm appearing calm and collected now. I have looked into volunteer work but I work shifts. It's not like usual shift of three night, two days off four mornings of what ever it's literally start at 6am, next day 10-8 of what ever then closing so getting home 2am then day off then 6am start etc etc. It's dictated by the business needs but it's exhausting. Im nearly 30 but look tired, pale, dark bags under eyes that even mac cant hide and I just look ill. Every day people tell me I look exhausted - charming! I have applied for about 6 jobs but my confidence is at rock bottom. If I could go back I never would have agreed to take the job on ☹️

I can sympathise with this. I too was in the same place you are. I never even waited to find another job. I handed my notice in and left 5 weeks later. I've spent the past year enjoying being a stay at home mum.

I do miss the money as I had worked my way up within the business and getting the same salary now would be near on impossible with no degree etc. But that's all I miss and we've been just fine without it with no childcare bills etc to pay.

We may be slightly poorer but we're much happier.