Next Week

[anxietybuilding]

Need some hand holding.
Back to work next week and it's a new ad hoc agency job.
I've been on maternity leave for a year, was self employed for 7 years beforehand so didn't actually have to leave my house or deal with people face to face.
Suffer from awful anxiety and I'm feeling sick already.
Basically it's a care role, where I'll be collecting people that I don't know and taking them back to a house, I don't know the location. I know roughly the areas but they don't give you address details until the day before.
So I need to go to a location and tell the people in charge that I'll be collecting people, then collecting 2 people I've never met before, drive a route I won't know until the day before and then care for them in the evening on my own in a house I've never been too. I don't know these people's specific needs or routines and there won't be anyone else there to tell me or to help.
It's literally killing me the thought of it.

I know it's such a boring thread. And there's nothing anyone else can do to help. Dunno really, just wanted justification that it's ok not to go back to work. I can say I've changed my mind? Financially we could just about cope if we cut back on everything. Kind of wanted to do this for my self esteem and myself but I don't think I'll be able too. Absolutely HATE anxiety.

Hey
How did your day go?

I start next week! Thank you for reading though. Been trying to take my mind off it all day x

Don't have much advice to offer except for try and give the new role a chance. You can always look for something else or return to self employment if you really hate it. You might enjoy it.

How about looking at if this way....... if you and your family can manage financially without you going back to work then decide in your mind that you will do this job for 2 weeks only. Set the date as the decision deadline. That 10 working days. Decide that you will grade each day .....from 0 (worst possible day ever, barely able to cope) to 10 (ok). Three 0 in a row - quit immediately. If not, look at the scores after 2 weeks - if they are going up then extend the decision period for two weeks. If you aren't at an average of 5 after 4 weeks quit. If you are, extend for 2 more.
I find things far more manageable if I have an idea of decision making pre-planned and exit plans in place. HTH
Good luck

Really good advice thank you. I know in reality that the actual work will probably be ok. It's just the thought of the unknown!

Thank you so much.
I really want this to work, as I can't just avoid situations all of my life that are out of my comfort zone.
In my past before the anxiety I've had a few really high power jobs, but being able to do something like that again is unimaginable. Some days I even struggle to go someone new for a drink or lunch!
I've just lost my confidence but I won't get it back by just staying hidden away!

I think that becoming self employed was the worst thing I ever could have done anxiety wise! Oh well, what's done is done!
I hope I'll be able to help lots of people. It's more the fear of the unexpected!
I think a local job somewhere familiar to me might have been a good first step, rather than new career, new area, new people, new company.
I don't think I'm cut out for agency stuff, meeting new people and going to new areas at the drop of a hat but I'll give it a go! It means I can't even plan things or do a practise run of the area!
I'm just trying to get through next week and then decide re things. I just keep thinking to myself "how awful can 1 week be!!!"

I start my shifts later on. Still don't have details of where they want me to work today. I've emailed the agency but not heard anything back. Anxiety sky high as its bad enough starting a new job, but not even knowing where you'll be working is driving me mad. I expect I'll hear an hour before knowing my luck.
Thanks for the thoughts tho x

How did it go?
Was it a zero score day??? Or better?

Hi, only just seen your message last night.
It was ok thanks! Not sure I'm cut out for doing it every week but I'm trying!
Only a couple of issues. I collected 2 elderly ish people with special needs from a community centre and took them back to their semi independent living. Didn't realise I wasn't allowed to park in the centre so next time they want me to park a 5 min walk away, lug 2 big bags of equipment that the people take with them and walk safely with them back to my car, which means hand holding/guiding 2 people with not much sense of danger across 2 busy roads whilst holding 2 bags! Kinda thought they'd make an exception and let me park in the car park but hey ho.
Also it was 2 people I'd never met before who I was collecting and the workers at the centre just pointed "there in there" and I was expected to find the 2 people I needed amongst about 15. Just thought people could have been friendlier or made things easier so I was feeling a bit stressed and anxious. I'm shattered now tho as not used to working! I would say today was maybe a 5!

Just realised massive name change fail too! Was moaning about my neighbours running businesses from their houses on here this morning so name changed in case I caused a neighbourhood feud!!! Will name change again after this thread!!!

Depending on shifts it will be 3-4 shifts a week.
In again later!
It still doesn't feel easy and comfortable a few shifts later but we shall see!
Applying for some local jobs too with fixed hours so at least I might have options.
Thanks for your advice though!