Has anyone not returned after maternity?

[user1497020183]

I had my baby 6 months ago and I'm due back at work around November time. I didn't mind my job but I certainly didn't love it and didn't particularly enjoy it, apart from the social side.
I'm in a position where I don't have to go back as my OH earns just about enough for the 3 of us, so it's basically down to me and if I want pocket money and to leave him with grandparents/in care for a couple of days. I love being at home, but do you think I would regret it if I don't go back and start to feel isolated? Some weeks I don't leave my house as I have nowhere to be, and I enjoy it being just me and my son all day but I've heard people say I need to work to have somewhere to be myself and not just 'Mummy'
I'd like people's opinions from people who have been in a similar situation? I'm wasting my maternity and I'm awful at decisions!

I'm currently sat in the garden enjoying the sunshine with my DS having made the decision not to return to work

I was in a similar position - liked my job and was very good at it but it was by no means a vocation, and if I'd returned I would have been coming home with about £15 a day after paying for childcare. We can manage (just) on DH's wage, and we felt it wasn't worth me going back if I didn't want to. I feel no need to be 'validated' by my job, so I'm quite happy not to work, and at the minute I am happy to be 'just' Mummy - this is time with my DS I'll never get back and I'm so lucky to be able to make the most of it!

Most of all, do what you want to do, what's best for your family and your child and what makes you happiest - you don't have to answer to anyone else! I am starting a college course in September, taking the opportunity of not having to work to retrain and pursue a career in a field I am really passionate about - so not returning to your job can mean you have the opportunity to change career or reevaluate, it doesn't have to mean you never return to work!

Thank you for your message! I'm currently sat in my garden too with DS next to me in his rocker thinking do I really want to give this up for a couple of hundred quid a month! I think it's because I'm so used to have my own money, I've worked FT since I was 18 and I'm nearly 30 now, that it maybe is a bit daunting thinking I will rely soley on DH? But then I think he's only going to be this young and need me this much once, and I've managed fairly well on my maternity money, I haven't had too many shopping sprees!
How did you go about handing in your notice? My boss that I had during the later stages of my pregnancy was lovely, he let me go home and rest on full pay, listened when I said I wanted to change roles as I was getting tired and said I could come back to what hours and role I wanted. So I do feel harsh thinking about not going back, but then I'm thinking what is best for me? Have you not regretted it for a second? Do you not miss having your own pocket money so to speak? Xx

I didn't go back, it's now 22 months since I last worked. Ds3 is 21 months.

Pros-
I'm at home (obviously)
I get to collect my 5yo every day, spend so much time with dc3 and am around for teenage dc1 who is about to go to high school/GCSEs etc.
I have., in theory, a really relaxed, easy going lifestyle. We do fun stuff. We have time.
Dh can work as many hours as he needs to. It is prime time for his career, in his industry. He currently works his socks off.
School holidays, childcare, no worries.
Cons
I miss grown up, professional people.
I may be off, but all my friends went back to work. I actively seek to make friendships with people I vaguely know (ie through Facebook, school, organising coffee mornings for charity) or go to lots of clubs and groups alone.
I spend a lot of time at home alone with a toddler and in the early days there isn't time to read/hobbies/ do anything except childcare and housework. This is slowly starting to change but I have to make myself pick up a book once he is playing and just read a page, because the temptation is to clean/ tidy.
It is a bit like Groundhog Day.
The domestic admin is never ever finished. I never get to 'clear my desk', I get no bonus or recognition. So you survived the day huh? Try again tomorrow!!
This is not very mumsnetty but I do 99% of domestic work, carry virtually the whole 'mental load' for the household, and have very little free time or personal spending money. This is very draining after two years, and I can imagine when I return to work I will be very tired of it.

And the biggest con- I know, 100% that in order to return to my profession I will have to retrain/volunteer before I do. I have decided to take this break, for my family, but I know for a fact that it will have a definite negative effect on my working future, possibly For ever but definitely the immediate few years after I return. I don't know if I regret this, but I definitely acknowledge it. Additionally, having 3 children, 2 of them primary age when I return to work will also hinder my chances- I will likely never return full time until the youngest are both teenagers.

Resigning was actually made slightly easier for me as we had a big organisational upheaval after I'd left, so it wasn't as hard to say goodbye! I would check with HR whether your organisation has any policy around the repayment of non-statutory maternity pay, just in case you have to budget for that. However they have to have notified you of any repayment requirements before you went on mat leave.

I haven't regretted it a bit, partly I think because I was so ready to have a baby, I don't feel like I've missed out on my career. Money is probably the hardest bit, my DH is incredibly supportive but I don't love not having my own income. He pays across a monthly amount to cover everything, and we keep separate accounts; I've seen other posts on here where people just have one joint account and all money just goes into the pot, so it's worth thinking about what would work best for you.